When I heard
Michelle and
Christy wrote a book for new brides, I knew immediately that it would be worth reading. I've enjoyed these two sister's deliberate and transparent God-focused writing on their blogs. Last year, Michelle wrote
My Brother's Keeper, a book sharing the story of a young handicapped boy that attends our church and it continues to be a favorite story of our children.
But
Marital Bliss was written for brides experiencing the joys and adjustments of new marriage. I just passed my eighth anniversary and am not really a newlywed.
How well I remember the first months of marriage. I expected some changes. I remember asking why a woman was expected to plan the biggest social event of her life, take an extended trip, prepare a house for habitation, move into that house, take on a new name, adjust to a different schedule, be wholly responsible for all the cooking and housekeeping - all while learning to be a wife and lover! Just thinking about it scared me spit-less!
Surprisingly, the transition from being single to a married couple was rather smooth. Ed and I talked often of how we fit seamlessly together from that first "I do".
Was it because of the long agonizing hours of conversation? Even before our engagement, we had discussed and worked through a myriad of differences. Was it because of the awesome role models of both sets of parents who had showed us, in real life, a marriage built on strong leaders and supportive submissive wives? There were some adjustments, like menu planning and learning the
Mennonite life. But mostly, we were so grateful for the ease in beginning marriage.
But that isn't all I remember about that first year. About six months after our wedding day, our eagerly anticipated pregnancy ended abruptly in a miscarriage and the bottom fell out of my perfect world. To say that I didn't deal with grief well, is an understatement. Ed always said he was first attracted to me because of my bubbling joy, but now I was a tear sodden puddle. I cried. all. the. time. Tears flowed when seeing a tiny baby at Walmart, when yet another friend called to say she was pregnant, when one more month went by and I wasn't. I could keep a cheerful face in public but Ed knew all the nights he held me tight while I cried. I hated who I had become. I wondered if I'd ever be a joy filled wife again.
By our first anniversary, I could look back on a fun, almost giddy year of making a home with the love of my life. There were trips, backyard camp-outs, private jokes, and silly memories I'll never forget. Marriage had been better then I ever dreamed. That first year, I learned so much about myself and my husband, about God and His sovereignty, about grief and life. I saw how God can heal a broken heart. I wouldn't want to relive the year, neither would I be the same person without the experiences of that first year of marriage.
Okay...so is this a book review or a trip down memory lane?
If my first year was so full of changes, growth, tears, and laughter - maybe
Marital Bliss would have been a valued asset through those days!
Even though hardly a bride, I jumped at the chance to give away one of the books - which meant, of course, I had to read it to give a review! By the second chapter (on the topic of fear) I was pulled into the book. By page nine, I had grabbed my notebook to jot down a quote. By the chapter on communication at the end of the book, I was remembering some failures just the day before, and my toes had been stamped on hard. I finished the last page and had to fight the urge to wake up my sleeping husband, in the midst of his well-deserved Sunday nap, just to say how much I loved him and was glad to be his!
Marital Bliss is written from a Mennonite perspective. I love that being a homemaker and supportive help meet to your husband is assumed. There is practical suggestions for cooking, canning, grocery shopping, and hospitality. But best of all, the book clearly describes a marriage built on Jesus Christ. Whether the topic considered is loneliness, self acceptance, or the three lettered taboo word - Scripture is searched for application on the nitty-gritty details of life.
Adding to the experience of Michelle and Christy is the survey responses of many other brides. There is also a couple chapters written by more experienced wives on topics such as submission. You can't read this book without feeling a wave of relief that the changes and struggles you face are normal, that you are not the only one who loves your husband passionately yet feel confused about your role in your new life. This would be a great book to encourage a young bride in your life - but don't be surprised if you are tempted to read it first - and find yourself challenged - whatever your age!
I'm excited to share a copy of
Marital Bliss with one of you. If you want to join the giveaway, just leave a comment. Since I love to hear wives brag up their man, share a quality about your husband that you appreciate. If you are not married, just share what quality you would value in a husband. You can also visit
the new bride guide and learn more about their book and the authors.
Thanks to Michelle and Christy for sharing a copy of their book for this giveaway. Giveaway open until August 18.