Surrender and Praise

This week was Ed's MRI. Ever since Ed's last MRI, which showed a slight increase in the size of Ed's tumor, I've been dreading this scan.

One of Ed's doctors is an optimist that said, "The size increase might just be swelling from radiation. You don't have any symptoms of tumor growth. We'll wait to see what the next MRI shows."

Ed's other doctor takes a more pessimistic approach. He is probably realistic about the statistical progression of glioblastoma. Typically, even with surgery, radiation, and chemo, this cancer begins to regrow within 6 to 8 months of diagnosis. We are past seven months. This doctor encouraged us to begin researching our treatment options and making plans for when the tumor regrows.

We continue to pray that God will heal Ed, but we also saw the wisdom in looking into our medical options. When Ed was diagnosed in May, he felt too awful to help make medical decisions. In the last month we have done a lot of reading, talking to medical professionals, and discussing various options for recurrent GBM. We were able to start some of the molecule testing that will need done if Ed ever decides to try some of the new immunotherapy. 

These past weeks gave me an chance to evaluate my attitude again. I realize again that Ed is God's child and I need to surrender Ed and our future to God. As this week approached I felt a complete peace about the MRI. Whatever would happen wasn't going to surprise God.

Yesterday I played phone tag with the nurse. She called when I was out and then she busy when I called back. I could hardly believe that I was so calm. I know many of you were praying; we felt very supported. I also knew that God wasn't going to abandon us.

And the results? There has been no change in size or shape of Ed's tumor since his last scan. His tumor is considered "stable."

Praise the Lord! It feels as if we have been given a few more months (at least until Ed's next MRI) to enjoy normal life.

But I still want to wake every morning with the realization that we are in God's hands and surrender each moment to Him. I believe that only a life spent living for God is worth living.

O Holy Night

Another carol that has been meaningful to me this year is O Holy Night. I love that the theme of this carol is worship. The contrast between a weary world and our conquering Christ  brings reason to rejoice.

Sometimes the first chorus is sung for each of the three verses which is a pity. I especially like the line in the second chorus, "He knows our need, our weakness is no stranger."

1. O holy night, the stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth;
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
'Till he appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn;

ChorusFall on your knees, Oh hear the angel voices!
O night divine! O night when Christ was born.
O night, O holy night, O night divine.

2. Led by the light of Faith serenely beaming;
With glowing hearts by his cradle we stand:
So, led by light of a star sweetly gleaming,
Here come the wise men from Orient land,
The King of Kings lay thus in lowly manger,
In all our trials born to be our friend;

ChorusHe knows our need, To our weakness no stranger!
Behold your King! Before Him lowly bend!
Behold your King! your King! before him bend!

3. Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is Love and His gospel is Peace;
Chains shall he break, for the slave is our brother,
And in his name all oppression shall cease,
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful Chorus raise we;
Let all within us praise his Holy name!

ChorusChrist is the Lord, then ever! ever praise we!
His pow'r and glory, evermore proclaim!
His pow'r and glory, evermore proclaim!

O Come, O Come, Emmanuel

Perspective changes everything. 

I love Christmas music and last year I shared some favorites.

This year I have noticed how many Christmas songs talk about, not just Christ's birth, but also His victory over death and His return. Of course we know that is why He came, but when life is jolly and merry, it is easy to forget that Christ came to a helpless, hopeless, heartbroken world to restore our relationship with God. 

Too often I'm so comfortable and satisfied that I don't appreciate Christ's coming or look forward to His return. I sing a song like this one and enjoy the tune without fully appreciating the message.

Not this year.

O Come, O Come Emmanuel


O come O come Emmanuel
And ransom captive Israel
That mourns in lowly exile here
Until the Son of God appear

Chorus
Rejoice rejoice Emmanuel
Shall come to thee O Israel

O come Thou Dayspring come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night
And death's dark shadows put to flight

Oh, come, our Wisdom from on high, 
Who ordered all things mightily; 
To us the path of knowledge show, 
and teach us in her ways to go. 

Oh, come, oh, come, our Lord of might, 
Who to your tribes on Sinai's height 
In ancient times gave holy law, 
In cloud and majesty and awe.

Oh, come O Rod of Jesse's stem, 
From every foe deliver them 
That trust your mighty pow'r to save; 
Bring them in victory through the grave. 

Oh, come, O Key of David, come, 
And open wide our heavenly home; 
Make safe the way that leads on high, 
And close the path to misery. 

Oh, come, Desire of nations, bind 
In one the hearts of all mankind; 
Oh, bid our sad divisions cease, 
And be yourself our King of Peace.