Shaping Surroundings for Good Habits

For the last number of years, I've done a series in January that has had something to do with Bible reading and schedules.  

2021- 30-Day Phone Challenge

2020 - Friends share Goals and Routines that Work 

2019 - Friends share Choosing His Words

In the last five years or so, I've read several very good books on habits. The Power of Habit by Charles Duhig, Switch: How Change Happens When Change Is Hard by Chip Heath and Dan Heath, and Atomic Habits by James Clear. I read a lot of books in a year, and maybe it shows the value of these books that I can remember so much about each one, though some were read quite a few years ago. (This post contains affiliate links.)

But, of course, it is not enough to read a book and agree with what it says. A book on habits has no power unless it changes my habits. 

I know from reading about habits, that change best happens when we make a specific plan to make the good habit "obvious, attractive, easy, and satisfying." (from Atomic Habits)

"If you're having trouble changing your habits, the problem isn't you. The problem is your systems. Bad habits repeat themselves again and again not because you don't want to change, but because you have the wrong system for change." James Clear in Atomic Habits

Lots of people make goals at the beginning of the new year, including me. And it shouldn't be a surprise that when I make a goal without thinking through how I'm going to make that goal a habit, it flounders by mid-January. 

Since last January, I've been thinking about the changes I want to make and why some of them can't seem to become consistent habits. 

For example, in the last few years, I've been terrible at planning. All kinds of planning. Planning meals. Planning grocery lists. Planning schedules. As the result, I often feel like I'm running behind, not knowing what I'm going to make for dinner tonight. Going grocery shopping only to get home and find I missed a necessary items. Completely forgetting an appointment. 

While I feel like I'm doing relatively well holding together and most people in my life think I'm organized, I know how scattered I feel inside. 

Last January I made it my goal to begin using my planner again. At one time I used my planner often. I covered it with to-do lists, reminders, and random thoughts. But the last few years, the pages have been blank. I knew that if I would begin to consistently write things down, I would feel less disorganized. 

But I had no plan for how I'd actually begin this new habit and nothing changed. 

And that is just one example. I could make great goals, but unless I knew how I was going to incorporate them into my life, nothing would change.

So I've spend the last couple months thinking about my specific routines. I don't have babies anymore. I'm crawling out of the grief fog. My life is fuller than ever, but it has more predictability than in past years. I knew I could find a way to shape my environment to encourage better habits. 

Now is when I start to feel silly. This probably isn't worth sharing on a blog post. And I know it is only January 19 - too soon to tell if this will truly work. But I've been analyzing this for months, it isn't a hasty idea, and I've been slowly making tiny changes, so I think this will last. 

I'm also hesitant to share this because you may not need, or want, to copy me. I'm only giving this as an encouragement to look at your life, consider the changes you want to me, and find ways to shape your environment to make the changes work for you.

One problem I found was that I had things scattered around the house. I read my Bible on the couch, but if I wanted to journal, it was beside my bed. I kept my planner in the kitchen, so if I had an idea before bed, it wasn't handy. 

My bedroom is small and can tend to be the catch-all room. For example, it contains a large bookcase that contains school materials and teacher's manuals. There isn't many options on moving furniture in that space. But a few weeks ago I had an inspiration. By moving the large bookcase in the opposite corner, I was able to squeeze out space for a chair and a small bookshelf. I picked up a lamp at Goodwill and instantly I had a comfortable spot that I couldn't wait to use. 

This comfy spot became what I needed to shape better habits. My Bible, journal, and planner now have a home. I anticipate sitting there each morning and evening to plan my day. Walking in my room became a delight. And my phone is not kept in this space. No longer am I faced with the temptation to check my phone before reading my Bible because I have a lovely place to read my Bible, with no phone in sight.

Ask me in a few months how it is going, but because I've shaped my surrounding to support my goals, I think this will give long-term benefit.

I'd love to hear how you set up your home to encourage good habits.

Goals and Routines: What Works for Kathryn

Kathyrn,a busy mom with young children, shares her current goals.

Prioritize quiet time with God by waking up before the children. I can listen to the Bible while I dress or get breakfast ready, but that should not replace prayer and studying paper pages of The Book of all books.

Love the children—enough to train them. Child training is more important than my housework. If I read or play with the children (ages 4, 2, and 7 months) before digging into work they can’t do, they require less discipline.

Do at least one project each day, in addition to child care and cooking. Laundry counts, oh yes, it does. A to-do list helps me remember the little things I need to do regularly, and checking off tasks is rewarding.

Divide deep-cleaning goals into increments. For example, our office and laundry room requires these tasks: dust or wash ceiling and walls; move and clean under the wash and dryer; ditto for two desks, a laundry cabinet, two file cabinets, a china hutch, and an armoire; wash doors and hardwood floor; wash curtain and window. I put each item on my to-do list on my phone. Tasks for each room recur as often as I think necessary—perhaps in two months or even years later.

Add “sew something” to my to-do list. While I work up to this goal, if you need to borrow an Activa 130 sewing machine, I know where one lurks. 

- Kathryn Swartz - Virginia

Goals and Routines: What Works for Darletta

Thanks, Darletta, for sharing how you have learned flexibility through a challenging season of life.

I love schedules and routines—probably too much.

I grew up in an out-lying community, so almost every time we wanted to be involved in an event, we had to plan ahead and prepare early. Time-consciousness grew on me during my sixteen years of teaching in a multi-grade classroom where I sliced my days into fifteen-minute segments.

When I married into a ready-made family, I thought enforcing routine was part of being a good mom. But God wanted me to learn flexibility. To fit into a household where the word "hurry" induces stress and anxiety, I had to rearrange my priorities.

I still enjoy setting goals for myself and seeing how many of them I can meet, but I can't expect as much of children who are neurologically underdeveloped. Since these children do benefit from the security of a schedule, I am thankful the bus arrives at 7:48 each school morning, but I no longer panic if a boy is still in the bathroom at 7:40. When the bus returns at 4:10 in the afternoon, I try to relax into a less exacting mode. Pushing too hard does not help us survive the four hours of chores, supper, and homework.

At this point in our parental work, we find it necessary to give relationships more weight than routines. 

All moms know the challenge of organizing a family, but here's my personal kudos to the ones who orient their schedules around high maintenance children. "Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not break."

- Darletta Martin - Maryland

Goals and Routines: What Works for Laurie

Laurie shares with us one goal she is making for herself.

Schedules—why do I cringe when I hear that? But goals? I love goals, dreams, and lists.

Schedules are important. Imagine how hodgepodge life would be if we all did whatever we want whenever we wanted without discipline. But I wonder if sometimes we put too much emphasis on keeping a schedule. Trying too hard to be scheduled can cause extra stress. If my husband is late for supper or the baby has a fever and needs held for hours on laundry day, the strain is much worse if I am schedule driven rather than schedule guided. However, if I haven’t done laundry for days because I didn’t feel like it and now we’re out of clean clothes, the day holding a sick baby is much more stressful.

Years ago I admired our neighbor family for their scheduled, disciplined life. During one January snowstorm, our barn roof came crashing down from the heavy snow. Our herd of dairy cows was trapped beneath, and we had no idea of possible injuries or fatalities. My husband asked our neighbor for help. The neighbor said he was just sitting down for lunch and would come as soon as he was finished.

Suddenly, his schedule didn’t seem very nice to me.

We need to find rest midway. And that is probably different for different people. Personally, I confess I need a lot of improvement. When our children were young, the school schedule nine months out of the year helped to keep us on track. Usually by the time school started again in the fall we were happy for the way it forced it’s schedule on us again. But for us who no longer have school children or for those who homeschool, the “school schedule” safety net isn’t there.

I think the best place to start (for me, at least) is to have a scheduled bedtime. And this is something that I really need to work on right now. If I have a regular, early bedtime, I feel better and my whole next day goes better.

No, I still don’t like schedules so I don’t want to think of scheduling an earlier bedtime. But I do like goals so my goal is to get to bed earlier tonight. And then, because I will start my day earlier tomorrow, it will help me reach my next goal—to get to bed earlier tomorrow night!
- Laurie Lehman - Washington

What about you? Do you find it important to have a bedtime for yourself?

Goals and Routines: What Works for Marlene

Marlene tells us how she was successful on her goal last year.

According to studies, only 8% of the people who make New Year’s Resolutions achieve them. That’s a lot of flunked diets, unwritten books, and messy closets.

However. Studies show that if people have accountability partners for their goals, the chance that they will achieve their aspirations jumps from 8% to 65%.

That’s a huge jump.

I’m proof of this. In January of 2019, I pledged myself on Home Joys to finally read the Bible in one year. I also made myself accountable in real life to my aunt Katherine, who lives in the other end of our house. I met my goal, and met Christ anew through that plan – but I know I would have petered out in Leviticus without the accountability.

Dire consequences can be effective motivation as well, especially when partnered with a partner. One secular source declared that failure to meet goals should have an immediate effect on the bank account. That same author publicly pledged to donate to an organization/ charity that he didn’t agree with, if he failed to reach his goal. 

I recently heard of two women who held each other to a stiff diet for a month, with the pact that if they failed they would need to clean the other’s house. I assure you there was no cleaning.

Another simple technique that works for me is to Write It Down. I don’t say this because I’m a writer; I say it because it works. Vague ideas that “I should lose weight/write that book/clean out the closet” are not half so useful as a concise, dated statement taped onto my mirror.  

- Marlene R. Brubacher - Ontario

What about you? Do you find that accountability helps you to meet your goals?

Goals and Routines: What Works for Stephanie

Today we hear from Stephanie as she considers organizing in a new year.

I have always dreamed of a school room. That dream is so close to reality. As I write, my husband is working on a huge closet from the ceiling to the floor. I am convinced this room will make my life easier. It will reduce clutter and save me time finding things.

I dreamed of the day when my children would be old enough to pitch in with the work. This stage has arrived. On Saturdays, each girl takes a room and cleaning is a sync. But for some reason, spare time is still rare.

When I convince myself that I will sit down with my Bible—later, at a better time, my devotional time becomes rushed, distracted, or even skipped.

Deep down in, I know the truth. I must change. Time is teaching me that I cannot wait for perfect circumstances to attain my goals. There will never be spare time. I must always work to prioritize my time. Sometimes it is a matter of finding a new schedule; sometimes I simply have to change my expectations. 

Do I need to be content that I will never get more than the basics done in life? The song writer puts life into perspective. “My days are shorter than a span, a little point my life appears; how frail at best is dying man. How vain are all his hopes and fears. Vain his ambition, noise and show: vain are the cares which rack his mind. He heaps of treasures mixed with woe, and dies and leaves them all behind.” (Almighty Maker of my Frame)

But, of course, dreams are free. The next stage just might hand me more time to fulfill more dreams. Until then, I will keep plugging away doing what is important for today.

- Stephanie A. Leinbach - Indiana

What about you? How do you dream of changes while also being content when necessary?

Goals and Routines: What Works for Sheila

I'm eager to share some of the thoughts on goals that friends shared with me. I'll start with Sheila.

I don’t have any original thoughts on the subject, but it’s something I’ve often considered. (Obese people always know more about diets than skinny people.) We face this routine change biannually when school lets out and again when it starts. I can imagine how things would go around here if we didn’t have a school schedule to keep us on track for at least nine months of every year. I use a week-long grid with the sections of the day on it, and each child has a different color for their name. I’ve a schedule for summer and one for the school year, and at each season change, I adjust my template for growing abilities.

Companions printed a story recently about establishing good habits, and one thing it mentioned particularly was that you shouldn’t try to change everything at once. So focus on one thing. The good news is, when I am more disciplined in my eating habits, I am more disciplined in my Bible reading—the muscle I develop in one place benefits other places, so when I have my “one thing” under control, the next things are slightly less of a challenge.

Keep accountable to yourself or another. I write goals on a paper and mark them with whether I met them.

It works best to involve the children in our changes: Here is how we feel about how things are going, and here is what we want to change. They feel less slammed-out-of-nowhere by these Suddenly Strict Parents. Incentives are good, too—larger incentives, that take a while to achieve, work better for us than a lot of tiny incentives every day. One incentive is flexibility. Once we have a schedule established, we get a time when we can relax from the schedule. (e.g. Saturday evening supper, we can read at the table.)

Doesn’t culture make some difference? Some areas are different and what feels like chaos to you may appear very structured to another part of the country. Don’t feel as though you have to meet your particular culture’s unrealistic standards—so long as you’re teaching godliness line upon line.

- Sheila J. Petre -Pennsylvania

Goals and Routines: What Works for Me

My extroverted, optimistic self loves a new year. I relish new planners, empty calendar pages, and goal lists. The promise of new experiences is heady.

Last year I admitted to being terrified as I thought of 2019. Even though I know it will hold many challenges, I find myself anticipating the new year. If God could help us survive last year, He'll be with us this year too.

For years I have begun each year with blogging about reading God's Word. Last year several friends joined me in discussing Bible Reading. (Check out Choosing His Words last January.) This year I again thought I'd begin a conversation.

Though I may look at the year with optimism, the realistic part of me can get discouraged. In the past months I've struggled to find a routine that works for me. Not just for Bible reading. Everything.

So much of my life was built around Ed's schedule. With Ed's sickness and death, I lost many of our routines. It didn't matter when I got up in the morning, how long I stayed up at night, or when I served meals. I have been trying to slowly build better habits, but sometimes the needs seem overwhelming. Do I change everything at once? Do I pick one area to focus on? When it goes well for one week and then we slip back into our bad habits how do I start again?

I know that in the various seasons of life, routines and schedules need to be adapted to meet our needs. What worked well for me five years ago needs adjusted with different ages of children and different roles. The job chart that we used for years doesn't fit now. The time I spent reading my Bible while nursing isn't available. My children need challenged in new ways and I need to find a new role as manager.

So I asked several friends to share what is working for them in this season of life. The goal is not that we will copy each other, but that we can learn and be encouraged to build healthy routines that work for us.

Last night, looking at the 365 days to come, I made a list of areas that I need to grow in. I felt rather small when I was done. My optimism quailed in the face of my failures and setting goals for the new year felt impossible.

I knew the only thing I could do is what I learned through Ed's illness, open up my hands and give my life (my days, my problems, my plans) back to God.

"And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for My strength is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Join us tomorrow as we discuss Goals and Routines: What Works for Me.

The Shunammite Woman - A Woman of Hospitality

We've been home from our delightful family trip to New York and Ontario for nearly a week. I want to share some of the highlights with you, but I still feel like I'm catching up. So I'm going to share an article I wrote a year or more ago for my series on Proverbs 31. 

The Shunammite Woman – A Woman of Hospitality

She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. Proverbs 31:18

“I'll leave the light on for you.” Whether we are arriving home late or planning to visit an unfamiliar place, those few words speak of a caring person who is expecting our arrival.

In his years as a traveling preacher in Israel, Elisha met with various responses. In one town the youth mocked his baldness. But in the town of Shunem, he was always welcomed to one particular home for a meal. Since Elisha often traveled through their area this Shunammite woman asked her husband if they could build a little guest room for Elisha.

I can imagine the Shunammite's joy in preparing the room with freshly washed linens, a warm blanket, and a bowl of dried fruit. The room contained a bed, a table, a stool, and a candle; nothing lavish or fancy but comfortable and adequate. Surely Elisha appreciated the privacy of his own space to study and rest instead of sleeping in a crowded inn or camping under a tree.

Jesus warned against giving hospitality to be rewarded. (Luke 14:12-14) We gain heavenly treasure when we serve those who cannot return the favor. 

If I give hospitality for what I can get back, I'm likely to be disappointed. No one may notice the effort I made to wash the windows or try a fabulous new cheesecake recipe. The Shunammite didn't expect Elisha to return the invitation. She simply noticed a need and filled it. But God blessed her abundantly for her service. Elisha noticed her barrenness and promised she would have a son. Years later, after her son died of an illness, Elisha brought him back to life. “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.” (Col 3:23-24)

At least five times in the New Testament we are commanded to show hospitality. Too often I confuse hospitality with entertaining. I may think that hospitality means a lavish meal, a lovely table, and a spotless house. Nothing is wrong with any of those things, but they are not necessary for hospitality. 

Far too often my children have heard me bark orders when company is coming. In trying to impress my guests, I become impatient and frustrated. God's love may shine more brightly through smudged windows and a simple meal—at least to my own children.

Hospitality is not limited to company meals and overnight guests. Hospitality is God's love demonstrated in our home through hands of service and can be seen in various ways. Pouring love into foster, adopted, or a handicapped child. Inviting an addiction-plagued neighbor for a Bible study. Holding a sick child half the night. Sitting in the lawn overseeing the neighbor children playing in the yard. Making a meal to send to a tired mom. Preparing a snack for my hungry offspring. Putting aside my projects to make the house is tidy before my husband arrives home.

All Christians are called to be the light of the world. Our world doesn't need more interior decorators, gourmet cooks, or perfect hostesses. But the world desperately needs more women who are shining the light of the gospel of Christ from their homes. I put my light under a bushel when I'm worried that my meal isn't as good as my friend's or when I hope for recognition for my service. I hide the light of Christ when I serve out of obligation or speak unkindly to my children while scrubbing mud off the kitchen floor.

When our homes are filled with God's love we have a treasure to share with the world. 

Let's hold our light high and not allow the darkness to consume it. 

Let's open our homes and hearts to the needy around us so they can see Christ.

Question: Hospitality and Peace?

Is it possible to have both?

During a recent conversation with friends I found that I wasn't the only one who snapped at my children, then turned to smile sweetly when guests walked in the door.

I love to have guests to our home. I love to prepare a pretty table and a clean house for the comfort of my guests. I like to have the meal prepared so I can enjoy time with friends without rushing.

But a clean house and yummy food doesn't just happen. They take preparation. And too often I turn into a drill sergeant barking out orders. "They will be here in only half an hour, pick up your dirty socks and help me." It is surprising my children continue to ask to have friends over when mom turns into a grump.

I think I'm learning. When I recognize that flushed face and raised voice, I try to start eliminating tasks. That dirty bathroom? It probably won't kill anyone. Haven't dusted for a month? Maybe it will make the other mom feel good to see dust in someone else's house. No time to arrange a bouquet of flowers? Send one of the girls to pick some zinnias.

I think (here is where I get real quiet and hope not too many people are listening) that the root of my problem is pride. I want to look like a capable efficient homemaker. I crave the approval of my friends.

And my children, well, sadly I must not care as much what they think of me. Besides, they already know the worse.

I'd love to hear from you.

How do you host guests without stressing your family? Do you have shortcuts you fall back on? How do you make sure that you are seeking to bless others and not just give yourself some gold stars for hospitality?

Kittens and More

Thanks so much for your prayers this week. I owe you all a full update, but the short version is that we are all doing well. (I know, that is lame, but if I get started, I won't know where to stop.)

Until I have a bit more computer time, I'll just share these few photos for our local friends. We are loving these kittens, but now it's time to find them a new home. 

These kittens are very tame, eight weeks old, and ready to leave their mom. The black and white one is long-haired. Their mom has been a wonderful family pet and her kittens seem to have inherited her calm personality.

Drop me an email if you want to add a new mouser to your home.

Two Things I'm Enjoying Right Now

1. Redwall on Audio

I'm not sure why I have saved audio books for long trips. Maybe because I enjoy reading aloud to my children so much. But I don't have time to read all afternoon even when I wish I could. 

Recently I picked up the audio version of Brian Jacques' Redwall and it was perfect for wet days this winter when we needed a quiet afternoon activity. Redwall was written as a story for blind children and the descriptions and action kept my children glued. And I'll admit that I chose an activity nearby so I could enjoy the story too. The audio is narrated by the author and includes an excellent cast of readers. The evil voice of Cluny and the kind wisdom of the abbot came alive.

I'll even admit turning it on over lunch when I'm weary of the ruckus. It turns a meal from chaos to silence in seconds. 

Note: Redwall is the story of war between the mice and rats. Though it is not graphic, it is dramatic; a young or sensitive child may not enjoy it. 

We enjoyed this audio so much that I'm looking for more at our local library. I'd like to figure out Audible as well. I'm so slow on learning anything new, but I've heard enough good things about some of the good Audible deals that I should figure it out. I'd love to hear your favorite audio book suggestions.

2. Walmart Home Delivery

For years I've been a fan of online purchases. I buy birthday gifts, vitamins, kitchen gadgets, and, of course, books, from Amazon. 

My sister-in-law has been telling me for months that I need to get my groceries from Walmart online. I not sure why I took so long to take her advice.  

I don't enjoy taking six children shopping. And the longer I procrastinate, the longer my list grows, until I have too much to fit in one cart. By the time I get home and am faced with the huge stack of groceries to put away, I'm determined not to go again for a long time.

Finally, a few months ago, I tried Walmart home delivery. And now I'm placing a Walmart order every few weeks. Of course I can't get all my groceries. They don't carry everything online and I can't get fresh produce or dairy products. But I'm finding that if I cross off the big, bulky items like diapers, toilet paper, cleaning supplies, toothpaste, and some canned goods, my list is not nearly as overwhelming and my cart isn't heaped. 

The best part? For my last order, two-day shipping for a $35 order was Free. I'm not sure how long this deal will last as the shipping deals do fluctuate. Sometimes I need a $50 order (which is no problem in this household) and it isn't always two-day shipping, but there is always some way to get free shipping. 

Not having to take six children grocery shopping? I'd pay money for that convenience.

But don't tell Walmart. 

I'd love to hear your tips on surviving grocery shopping.

A Homemaker's Attempt at the Ivy Lee Method

I think I'm efficient and productive but recently I've been feeling like my mind is a trying to keep a dozen tops spinning, and, as a result, it is flying to pieces. Too often I go through my day responding to emergencies, muddling through my tasks, and feeling like I've accomplished nothing at the end of the day.

I've been hearing about the Ivy Lee method recently and I decided to adapt it for my life as a homemaker and homeschool mom. The basic idea is these six steps.

1. At the end of the day, write down the six most important things you need to accomplish tomorrow. NO more than six.

2. Prioritize these six in order of importance.

3. In the morning, concentrate only on the first task. Work until the first is finished before moving on to the second task.

4.  Continue down the list, one task at a time. At the end of the day, move any unfinished items to a new six-task list for the next day.

5. Repeat each day.

I found that writing no more than six items was key. I have a tendency to write down everything I hope to do on my to-do list. I also don't usually write down the obvious things that I do every day - like laundry. Or meal prep. Or Bible reading. So I started listing those things on my list of six. Then at the end of the day I can see that I actually did accomplish something, even if nothing "extra" got done.

I didn't sweat about prioritizing, because I never work on one task until it is done. Never. I might start reading my Bible, then jump up to make Ed's lunch, or start breakfast, or the baby wakes up, or....But whenever I'm interrupted, I try to come back to my interrupted task as soon as possible. Even if it is an hour later.

Some tasks such as laundry need started, then I move onto the next task, keeping in mind that laundry will need attention throughout the day. Having meal prep on my list doesn't mean that I'm necessarily making meals at eight o'clock in the morning but seeing it on my list does mean I've been better at making a plan for my meals instead of waiting until four o'clock.

I'm not sure why but this simple six-task list has been helping me keep my mind on what I need to be doing. Maybe it is the fact I'm spending time the night before thinking about the coming day. Maybe it is the fact that I see "Bible" on my list first every day. The first four items on my list rarely vary (Bible reading, laundry, school, meals). The fifth and sixth item are often an "extra" job, maybe canning pumpkin or sewing a dress. Often these are the tasks that get written down several days before finally getting done.

I'd love to hear if you have found a simple method to make your homemaking more efficient.

Question: Children's Bedroom Storage

Ahh...June.

That mix of cool mornings and sultry afternoons. Hours spent around a campfire with nothing more to do than turn your marshmallow and hold the baby. Other hours spent bent over in the pea patch or furiously working on all the projects that get pushed back during school. Evenings at Bible school, mornings picking strawberries, Saturdays cleaning out the basement, Sunday afternoons finding a new bike trail. Mealtimes when the biggest question is how to combine fresh asparagus, broccoli, strawberries, and rhubarb all in one meal.

I love June.

Because of a computer glitch (that will hopefully be fixed soon) I can't share any photos of the past weeks. How can I write about my garden or the newest recipe I tried (this morning it was sourdough crepes with fresh strawberries and yogurt) without photos?

So I'll just ask a question.

One of my recently projects has been painting. Many rooms in our house are begging for a fresh coat of paint. Last summer I was too weary with pregnancy to care but this summer my sister has helped me for a couple days and we have both children's bedrooms repainted. I love the fresh clean appearance, especially since pulling nearly everything out of the room means that it also gets deep-cleaned.

But now I'm looking for advice. Our bedrooms are small and with four girls in one bedroom we are going to need to use our space wisely. Right now the baby is sleeping in the pack-and-play in the toy room waiting for the two-year-old to get out of the crib, who is waiting for a bed to move into. Their room contains a full-sized bed, a crib, a dresser, bookshelf, and small closet.

We considered putting two sets of bunk beds in the room but then hatched the idea of getting full-over-full bunk bed. I've seen sets with drawers underneath with would greatly increase the storage.

What ideas do you have for efficiently using space in a children's room? Are full-over-full bunks a good option?

Q&A - Balancing Housework

Recently a Home Joys reader asked some questions that I've received in various forms numerous times so I decided to share my attempt at an answer here.

Question: We homeschool too, and I was hoping for some feedback as to how do you try to keep schooling simple.  How do you balance the housework (involve the kids in the housework) and the school work?  I find we keep a nice house or do really well on our school work.  I haven't quite figured out how to balance the two.  Any ideas or suggestions?  I am drawn to simplicity, but tend to make everything complicated!  What about January....will you be taking a break from schooling since baby is due?  - Joanne

When I read Joanne's question my first thought was - I have no answers. I have often told Ed that I'm either a good housekeeper or a good mom/teacher - I can't do both well.

But the fact is that I have to do both. I have to continue to teach and train my children even when there are dishes, dust, and laundry. I've tried to watch older moms, like my own mother, and learn some tips from them.

I'm not a naturally organized person - too impulsive and scatter-brained to have a detailed schedule but as my responsibilities increase I've been forced to learn to be better organized. Some days go smoothly and I think I'm getting the hang of it. Other days prove I have much more to learn.

I have no idea the ages of your children, Joanne, but I'll just share what works for us. Our first four children are ages eleven to six. We also have a nineteen-month-old toddler and a baby due in January.

How to keep schooling simple?

I try to evaluate our curriculum choices partly on how much teacher planning/teaching is required. For example, we have found Christian Light Education's math a good fit for us as the children can do much of their math independently. Right now all the children are doing history, science, and Bible together which means I only need to prepare one lesson for all of them. This probably won't work always but for now it is a good option for our family.

I've had to learn to be okay with not doing every craft project, reading every book, and completing every science experiment. It is especially dangerous for me to compare myself with other moms online who seem to be so much more creative and artistic than I. We try to focus on the basics, read lots and lots of books, and fit in the other things as we find time.

How do you balance the housework (involve the kids in the housework) and the school work?

You are right, Joanne, children are the key. My husband is always telling me that I don't expect enough out of my children. Or as my dad would say, I'm not utilizing my resources.

What has worked for me is to identify which areas of housework are my priority. What are the things  that will drive me (or my husband) crazy if they are not done. The areas I chose are keeping up with laundry, washing dishes, sweeping the dining room floor, and picking up toys. I took those four areas and assigned my four oldest children a specific job after breakfast and after lunch that addresses those areas.

For example, one child may wash dishes at breakfast and vacuum the dining room after lunch. The next week all the chores rotate to the next child and he may sort laundry after breakfast and clean up the living room toys after lunch. Initially, it took a lot of training and encouragement for them to do their chores. We started slowly with only one new job at a time. But now they can (usually) do their chores without prompting.

If I get no other cleaning done, at least I know that those areas that most bother me are being touched. On the weekend I try to scrub the bathrooms and vacuum the whole house. (We live in a one-story house and it doesn't take long to vacuum. If we had a two-story house, I can almost guarantee the upstairs would not be vacuumed every week.) Sometimes it can go a long time (probably too long) before I scrub the kitchen floor, clean out the fridge, or dust the furniture but at least, with the children's help, I can keep up with what I consider basic housekeeping.

I find that I can fake a clean house as long as I keep the clutter of daily living picked up and put away. And it certainly helps with the whole family's morale to live in a reasonable tidy house. Not to mention being able to find their belongings.

I also find it helpful to streamline as many chores as possible. For example, I placed the dishes in a low cupboard so the children can put them away. This also allows them to set the table. A stool is handy in the kitchen so they can reach the kitchen sink and the drain tray. (We don't have a dishwasher.) If you find a task too hard for a child, look for a way to make it easier.

Another example: My laundry is in the basement. I placed two large plastic totes - one light colored and one dark colored - by the washing machine. Each morning one girl and one boy are assigned the job of taking the laundry from their rooms to the basement and sorting it in either light or dark.

I take care of the laundry sorting in my room and the bathrooms. When one tote is full (nearly every day) I throw that load in the washing machine and hang it out.

I'm in the process of training my oldest to do more of the laundry. On Monday, when I was laid up with a sprained foot, I hobbled down and got her started with the laundry but she then laundered, hung outside, and brought in all the Monday laundry.

Ed is probably right, I don't expect enough of my children. They can rise to the challenge when needed. But please don't get some crazy idea that we are perfect. I still hear lots of complaining - and if I don't keep inspecting, there is always someone who is trying to escape their chores and shirk their duty.

What about January....will you be taking a break from schooling since baby is due? 

I have no idea. Really. I'm trying to work ahead on schoolwork so if we need to, we can take off. We probably will take little or no vacation over Christmas to save it for January. I want the freedom to be flexible over that time.

But with my last January baby I took very little time off school. I was spending my days on the couch holding the baby, I wasn't doing any housework or cooking, the children needed something to occupy them (or they start bickering) so it was easier to just do schoolwork. But I don't know how things will go this time.

What about you? Do you have any hints on how to simplify either schoolwork or housework? Or both?

Homemade Campfire Starters

Are you camping this holiday weekend?

We never go camping without a supply of homemade fire starters. Especially if we don't have good kindling or the wood is not dry, a fire starter can help get that campfire ambiance far more quickly.

And with no need to haul along a stinky can of lighter fluid.

All it takes is some common trash items.

You will need:

A cardboard egg carton (not Styrofoam)

Several hand-fulls of dryer lint

Old candle stubs (or a block of paraffin)

A large tin can (a coffee can or juice can works perfect)

Newspaper or cardboard



1. Fill the egg carton cells with dryer lint. No need to pack it full. Place egg cartons on newspaper or cardboard.

2. Bend a pouring spout into your can.

3. Fill the can with wax - either old candles or paraffin.



4. Set the can in a pan of water on the stove.

5. Melt wax with medium heat.

6. Pour wax into egg cartons. I didn't wait until all the wax was melted. As soon as the bottom was melted I poured it out and kept adding more wax in the top.



7. Allow wax to cool and harden.

8. Cut egg cells apart. I let my husband use his power saw. This batch of fire starters should last us several years.

9. Add your new fire starters to your camping gear. The next time you are starting a fire, place a fire starter under your kindling and light a match. The wax and dryer lint will quickly help start a hot fire.

Caution: I don't know if these can be used in an indoor fireplace or wood stove. I have only used them in outdoor campfires.

Do you have any creative uses for trash?

Weary but Pressing On

This is when I want to quit.

Maybe I'm just not good at completing projects. Maybe I'm too scatter-brained to stick at one job for a long time. But after a week and a half of deep cleaning, I'm done.

Not "done" as in finished with the job. Completion. Just done in. Want to quit.

I'm not sure why. I love the progress I've made. I have all the windows washed except for two and it is a delight to see the sunshine stream in. It is fun to open up a newly organized drawer or closet. I'm glad that I started with my bedroom since it is inspiring to end each day in a sparkly room. I was able to remove some stuff from our house completely - such a freeing feeling.

But for all the effort put forth the past week, there is a lot more to do. I have some stacks labled don't-know-what-to-do-with-it. There is very grimy areas I have not yet touched. And that saying "cleaning with children is like shoveling while it is still snowing?" It is true. The toy-library-craft room is getting worse every day since my attention is on other places. Yesterday there was a giant blanket/pillow house that somehow took stacks and stacks of books to complete. Guess I should have taken the opportunity to dust the bookshelves while the books were on the floor.

And then there is the constant interruptions that mean that I never ever get as much done in a day as I think I should. Somehow there is still laundry to do and meals to make whatever other goals are on the agenda.

So, that his how I feel, but I'm writing this to commit to plowing on.  I'm not going to quit yet.

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. Galatians  6:9 

I have been working rather randomly. (Maybe a mistake but when everything needed clean it seemed ridiculous to make a list.) But this week I am trying to gain some focus by writing down one thing to accomplish each day. I need to make bite-sized goals and celebrate small steps of progress.

So if you are mired down in the middle of a project - whether it is cleaning or something else - remind yourself why you started and what your goal is.

It is okay to feel discouraged. It is even okay to take a break (which I did for a few hours the last two days.) But then jump back into your project. Make a few small doable goals that will push your closer to your final goal. Put on some praise music and work with joy.

A smile makes any job easier.

Is My Home a Haven?

(An edited post from six years ago that is still true today.)

Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. Proverbs 14:1

My organizing/cleaning streak has a  problem.

The more focused I am on my projects and my to-do list, the more frustrated I become at the little people that are not sharing my cleaning drive. I begin to think that the thing standing between me and an organized home is my children. 

Not a good attitude for a Godly mother.

It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house. Proverbs 25:24

A clean home is important. My husband appreciates a home that is in decent order. I try to keep our bedroom free of clutter to form an oasis in the avalanche of “stuff” that appears in a busy home. My goal (which I don't always meet) is to have the children do a quick toy pick-up before Ed gets home so that he doesn't need to shovel a path just to get to the couch. A reasonably clean kitchen and bathroom is needed for proper health and hygiene. Organized drawers and closets save frustration in searching for items. 

My home should be a comfortable place for my family. But what really makes a home a haven? Is it polished floors and immaculate counters? Is it picture perfect decorations and meticulous organization? Is it gourmet meals and picturesque desserts? 

Or is it place of emotional comfort and safety? A home that oozes love and encouragement to those who enter?

Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith. Proverbs 15:17

I spend my days concocting meals, scraping gunk off the high chair, and scrubbing grass stains off jeans. And I'm doing it all because I love my family. But some days I wonder if in the busyness of serving my children's physical needs do I neglect to connect to their inner needs?

How would my day's schedule change if I thought it would be the last I would spend with my husband and children?

What is more important, the to-do list or a game of Connect Four with the six-year-old? Trying a new recipe or reading yet another Richard Scary book?  My latest sewing project or a nap so that my husband doesn't come home to an exhausted, cranky wife?

I count it a privilege to make a home for the family I dearly love. I want my attitude, especially when my plans are turned on end, to reflect that love and the joy of the Lord.

How about you? I'd love to hear how you cultivate joy and peace in your home.

Clutter Busting

Today I tackled the boy's room. Whew! Too often "clean  your room" means dumping all their treasures in their closet. Today I told them to pull everything out and dump their treasure boxes out on the floor and sort through everything.

Do all boys have collections of string, whittled sticks, and painted rocks?

Halfway through I was ready to despair. It looked far worse than before. But we kept at it and now their room looks wonderful.

Will it stay that way for more than two days?

I love the tips on organizing that you all have been sharing in the comments. Jonna sent such as sweet email  that I asked if I could share it with all of you. I loved her perspective on seeking the Lord in our organizing. She graciously agreed so here is Jonna's organizing tips.


I am a busy homeschool Mom - I know you are busy - so here are a few hints that have helped me - I SOOOOO pray for help with this area of my life - I sometimes feel like I am "drowning" in my "stuff"/their stuff at our home.  We have 7 children - 5 still are at home.

Clutter has been such a struggle for MANY years - just ask my husband Mike:-) There were times in years past my own big "clean-up" consisted of taking the mail and other papers for many weeks and then putting it into paper garbage bags until I could find time to sort it all (which then never happened).  Mike one time smiled, saying that he had taken some of these bags to the dump that sat around for months. When he saw my shocked expression, he said "Be truthful - have you missed a single thing in them?"  :-)  Had to admit I had not!! 

Another tip someone gave, was to sort your mail every day right near your garbage can or recycling paper spot and only keep what you absolutely need. If it is a "rare" (which they are anymore:-)!!) personal letter, jot the date r'cd on the back so you can then see how really long it takes you to answer it:-)  

PLEASE get the book Organized Simplicity by Tsh Oxenreider. The author is a believer so even though the book was published for a secular audience you will at least see that theme understated within the book. Cheap on eBay or Amazon. If you get through Amazon, be sure to use their SMILE.amazon.com link - 1/2% of any purchase can go to Christian ministries, like Voice of the Martyrs etc.

Ask yourself in sorting ANYTHING/purchasing anything - does this simplify or complicate my life? 

Getting any new/used book - be ready to get rid of one in exchange or even two if brave - same goes for any clothing piece, knick knacks, - whatever-

 PRAY before every single purchase, since it's all God's money anyway (I just got given this VERY challenging thought by another believer). Even praying before grocery shopping, that you might find more on sale to help stretch the money etc.

 I am always SOOOO touched by my cello teacher's home - so simply, sparsely furnished with a few tasteful wall hangings.  Such a peaceful feeling it resonates. I long for this even in a busy household with three boys ages 14, 11, and 8 still in it:-)

 Ask yourself - if I had a year to live, which of this "stuff" I own would I really want to keep/use? 

 Take what things you might be hesitant to part with (unsure) and give yourself a week to decide. If they have value, make them a project - sell them on eBay if you are able to do this, and give all the money away to someone poor - there are SOOO many worthwhile projects at Gospel For Asia or CAM - even a $1.00 buys tracts.  I am amazed how God gave this idea to me to help me part with my "stuff", and how he has blessed these feeble efforts to turn this "stuff" into something tangible for Christians in other countries. 

Another good read is The Treasure Principle by Randy Alcorn, also Road to Reality by K.P. Yohannan – the man from India who started Gospel for Asia.  My free time is SOOO limited I cannot read many books, so I only will recommend those which I feel are 100% worth your time. I hope you will be blessed by these three books. They help underscore from a Christian perspective about living more simply and content.

I will leave you with a poem I just read by Ruth Bell Graham: 

 Let Them Go 

Let them go -
the things that have
accumulated through the years.
If they be only things,
then
let them go..
As barnacles,
they may but impede the ship
and slow
it down when it should go
full speed ahead.
Why dread
the disentangling?
Does the snake
regret the shedding
of its skin?
When the butterfly eludes
its chrysalis
does regret
set in?

In Christ -

Jonna Statt

Four De-cluttering Excuses

De-cluttering my house and creating margin depends upon my success in blocking out the excuses that run through my mind. Maybe you battle the same excuses. Here are some of my most common.

Excuse #1: I might need this sometime.

This is a big one for me. I hate to throw away something I might need later. And I know when I throw something away - I'll find a use for it tomorrow.

I try to ask myself "Is this the last of its kind?" If I find a genuine need for this item, will it be impossible to procure a replacement? And if it would not be worth buying a replacement, is it truly a need? Often I'm using this as an excuse just to store more stuff.

Excuse #2: I paid good money for this.

This is a tough one for a tight-wad like me. Whether the purchase was wise or not, if I spent money on it, I will force myself to live with that item.

Chuck the guilt and allow yourself the privilege of occasionally making a foolish spending decision. Don't add to the misery by making a second foolish decision of holding onto an unwanted item.

Last year I got rid of all the dresses in my closet that I disliked or didn't fit well. I love having only dresses that I enjoy. I don't miss the others at all.

Excuse #3: I used this___________. 

This can be anything from "I wore this dress on my daughter on the first Sunday we went to church." "I wore this dress on our honeymoon." And so on. All the kinds of sentimental reasons to hold onto items that have long since outstayed their welcome.

It is fine to keep some items just for the memories, but make sure they are still blessing your life. It is impossible to store every item that is associated with a memory. Give yourself a limit such as a certain number of totes. When it is full, no more. Take a picture of the item if you really want to remember it, and give the item to someone who can use it.

Excuse #4: It was a gift.

This is a tough one. I never want to knowingly hurt a giver - even if it means holding onto an item I dislike. Relationships are more important.

But sometimes this can get a little ridiculous.



Like this fern.

My grandma grew many ferns in the corner of her living room. One day my grandma was dividing her ferns and gave me one. When she died a few years later, I treasured it as a memory of my grandma.

When I married, I hauled the fern to my new home. And it thrived, along with my many other houseplants. But then came children, three of them in about as many years, and in the choice of which living things to keep alive, the children won and the houseplants succumbed one by one. Eventually I was left with one houseplant - Grandma's fern.

And it has been trying to die ever since.

This fern has been banned to the basement windowsill where it is seen by nobody but me. And it is not making my laundry room more cheery. I look at it and feel guilt that I can't keep my grandma's fern alive.

My grandma died in 1996 - nearly twenty years ago. My fond memories of Grandma are not dependent upon keeping this fern alive.

So today, I'm stopping the excuses, kicking out the guilt, and adding the fern to the compost pile.

I know Grandma would approve.

Okay, so what about you. What excuses do you hear when you try to de-clutter your house? And what is your cure?