Thinking About Summer Stress

 

Recently I flipped through last summer's planner to find some information. I read the notes on one particular week when I had two children with emergency medical visits (neither serious). Somehow just reading those notes in my planner gave me a feeling of panic. I could remember the stress of those weeks. 

And then I realized how much less pressure this summer has had. I'm not completely sure why. We are still very busy. Many of the activities from last summer are repeated this summer - even a sibling wedding. But I remember last year waking up on Monday mornings and almost dreading the week. I usually love Monday mornings and the anticipation of a new week, so it was unusual for me to feel discouraged on a Monday. 

I don't want to get stuck analizying the past, but this winter I did consider the last year and changes I could take to keep from becoming so overwhelmed. Life will always bring unexpected things (like those emergency medical visits) so I wanted to provide some margin to give a cushion.

I've become aware of how much I find fulfillment in being busy. I love planning events, sharing life with family and friends, and helping others. I can work fast and efficiently and get a lot accomplished. I like a bit of pressure, such as waking up and knowing that I have an hour to study for the Bible study that I'm teaching tonight before going out to pick the green beans. I'm slowly realizing that my personality finds so much satisfaction in activity that it is hard for me to build proper boundaries. It is hard to say "no" to things I love. 

For example, last year four of my siblings bought houses within just a few months. I love to paint. I wanted to spend time with each of my siblings helping in their new houses. My children are old enough to stay home by themselves for the day. But eventually it became clear that I just couldn't be gone multiple days helping paint and not feel the strain, especially if I was also involved in several others things that week. 

It seems silly that it is so hard for me to admit that I'm human and have limits. When I had babies, it was easier to stay home. Now I no longer have Ed to tell me, "I think you are doing too much." In November, after helping plan three events in three weeks (on top of quite a few other events in the previous months), I realized I had to listen to my stress level and be the mature person and start saying, "no" to things I really wanted to do. 

This year I made a simple guideline that I was going to place priority on serving in my local church and community. I know, that means I can still be quite busy, but it helped me turn down opportunities that were further away. My children aren't babies anymore, but they are still young enough that they don't like me going away too often. I want my children to learn the joy of serving, but they also needed to not feel like they always were given mom's leftovers.

Another deliberate choice I made this year was to look for ways to streamline tasks, even if that meant more work and time (maybe even money) upfront. For example, this spring I tore out some of my perennial flowers, planted some shrubs, and laid down mulch. This will hopefully save future hours. I've also tried to be more deliberate in menu planning and grocery shopping to avoid the last minute "what's for dinner" panic that I had fallen in. I've tried to work ahead on projects (like wedding sewing) to avoid last minute stress. 

I'm still not sure why I'm enjoying this summer so much. But this is only July. Maybe August will be frantic and frustrating and blot out the enjoyment of June and July. Many things are outside my control, and I want to learn how to have peace in times of unexpected stress. But I also want to recognize when change is needed. Even small adjustments can make a difference.

Fresh Herb Cheese Ball

 I've had an herb garden for years. In fact, I rode my bike to our local greenhouse, before I had my driver's license, to purchase herb plants. I'm not sure why I was so infatuated by herbs, but I nearly memorized my mom's herb book. I loved the smells and textures of herbs. It was such fun to weed among such lovely plants.

An herb garden was one of the first additions I added to our property when we moved here. I've moved it to different spots, but found I was most likely to use the herbs if they were on a pot on my porch. 

But still, I rarely actually cooked with fresh herbs. I occasionally picked a sprig of rosemary or made a batch of basil pesto, but I was far better at growing herbs than using them. 

Until last year. 

One of my daughters was spending the day at my parent's house, and my mom was making a simple cheese ball with fresh herbs. She came home with the directions and suddenly my pot of herbs was being snipped repeatedly to make herb cheese ball. She loved making it so much that when winter came and our herbs died, she adapted the recipe to use dried herbs. But we were all delighted when spring came ,and she could use fresh herbs again.

This recipe can be adapted with whatever herbs you have. She likes to have at least three kinds. The amount of herbs is approximate. She simply picks a few sprigs without measuring.

Fresh Herb Cheese Ball

1 8oz pack of cream cheese

1/8 cup mayonnaise

1 Tablespoon each of chopped basil, chives, oregano, parsley, thyme, and rosemary

In the winter, use a teaspoon of dried herbs.

Edited: I should have specified that this recipe is more of a spread or cheese ball. We eat it on crackers. If you want to use it for a veggie dip (which is also delicious) add more mayo and be sure to let it sit out of the fridge a bit to soften the cream cheese before serving.

Sisters' Spring Reading Challenge

I struggled to read at the beginning of this spring. I'm not sure why I felt so distracted and listless when it came to books - it is an unfamiliar feeling. But eventually I got over my slump, and I read quite a few books that I loved.

Note: The photos on this post were taken just a few weeks before the birth of Charity's baby boy. Not sure how much reading Charity will get done this summer. Maybe more than usual - maybe far less!

This post contains affiliate links which give me a small bit of credit with no extra cost to you. 

Sisters' Spring Reading Challenge

1. Read a book that is longer than your average read. 

Charity - Middlemarch by George Eliot

Long books are delightful as long as I have the time to really embrace the story. Eliot wrote a fascinating novel about family, love, and money set in the fictional town of Middlemarch. I found that I needed to patiently allow the author to introduce me to the cast and weave the plot for a few hundred pages until I was entrapped. Step into nineteenth century England with patience and before long you will not be able to put the book down!

Gina - Island of the World by Michael D. O'Brien

I knew exactly which long book I wanted to read. A blog reader had sent me Island of the World after I told her that I had been searching for a copy, since I had heard rave reviews of it. But I found the book intimidating. Not only was it long (over eight hundred pages!), it is also sad. I've cried over a number of novels set in World War 2, but this book is a level of gut-wretching sad I found hard to read. Set in the Balkans, Island of the Word follows the life of Josip Lasta. I'm only about halfway through, but if it wasn't for this challenge, I wouldn't have gotten that far, and I plan to continue working on it this summer.

2. Read a book about motherhood or a book that has a mother as the main character.

Labor with Hope by Gloria Furman

While preparing for the arrival of our baby, I found this book a beautiful way to explore what the Bible says about childbirth and pregnancy. Furman takes you through God's Word and show the hope and eternal analogies that are found all throughout the Bible. 

Mama Bear Apologetics: Empowering Your Kids to Challenge Cultural Lies by Hillary Morgan Ferrer and others

The authors of this book suggest that we as mothers need to be firmly grounded in truth so that we can help our children navigate the many voices in our world. They give a thorough overview of the many isms that we encounter, such as self-helpism, naturalism, and skepticim. I love that the authors are firm on truth in a loving way and use humor to lighten a heavy subject. 

3. Choose a bookshelf, count the fifth book from the right and read it. 

Charity - How Beautiful the Dusty Road by Alison Stoltsfus

A nurse's memoir of serving refugees in Bangladesh. Join the author on her journey of learning to love the people of another religion and ethnicity while finding her heart is sometimes miles away. I easily slipped into her world and found her skill with words made me grieve it was such a short book.

Gina - A Place on Earth by Wendell Berry

It always takes me a while to get into Berry's novels. The plot moves slowly and there are so many characters, though the more of his books I read, the more I'm becoming attached to his fictional Port William community. A Place on Earth is set during World War 2 and I was saddened by the unhealthy ways that the characters reacted to grief without the hope of Christ. Yet Berry's skill as a writer and how well he shows life's reality and the gift of the agarian community means his books stay with me long after I finish the last page.

4. Choose a word or phrase in the Bible and look up five or so verses that contain that word and read them in context. 

Charity - Trust/Refuge in the Psalms

The last few months I have been strugglign to surrender and trust the Creator. That led me to read all th passages in Psalms that speak of trusting God and/or taking refuge in Him. Writing down teh verses that appliedto me in my journal was so encouraging and is a place I can keep going back to on hard days.

Gina - Word

What does the Word say about the Word? That question sent me all through the Scripture, searching what God said about His Word. What a rich gift we have been given.

Other books I've loved this spring:

Women of the Word by Jen Wilkin

Coming Home to Roost by Dorcas Smucker

Everything Happens for a Reason by Kate Bowler

Will the Circle Be Unbroken by Sean Dietrich

Sisters' Summer Reading Challenge

 A new season means a new list of book! Yeah! Summer tends to busy, but we still want to read, so we kept these goals lighter.

1. Read a book by a favorite author that you have never read before.

It might be a new book by an author, a sequel to a favorite series, or a back-listed book by the author.

2. Read a book that contains less than 200 pages.

In the spring we chose a long book (Confession: I'm still working on mine) so this is a chance to choose  a short book. Maybe there is a middle-grade novel that you've wanted to read. 

3. Pick out three books that you'd like to read. Turn to the first word in each book, and read the book whose word comes first in alphabetical order.

I have a whole shelf of books that I want to read and I can become paralized on which one to read next. This is a way to force myself to just get started. You can choose an e-book, audio, or physical book.

4. Read a book of the Bible and a write down the key idea from each chapter.

Short or long, pick the book that is best for you in this season. 

I hope you have an excellent reading summer! I'd love to hear what you plan to read.

One Name

I slit the envelope

and new checkbooks slide out. 

For the last four years, 

whenever I wrote a check

I saw our names together at the top.

Ed and Gina

But not anymore.

On these new checks,

my name stands alone.

Those first months after Ed's death

contained so many papers—

vehicle titles

electric bills

bank statements—

each with a name—his name—

that needed to be

removed

replaced.

I made phone calls,

handed over death certificates,

heard sympathies

from staff members who have done this often.

A couple, with names once connected,

now severed—

by death,

by choice,

by tragedy.

Each a story.

Now, my story.

I still say 

we, us, ours.

I want to imagine they will always be

our children, 

and this our house, 

the one Ed provided for us,

But I know that the future is just me

and the responsibility is mine

for my children and my home.

I don't like

me, my, mine.

I know they are God’s,

and He is here.

But I miss flesh and blood,

skin and bone,

paper documents

with his name attached to mine.

But I hold the proof in my hands.

A checkbook

with only one name. 

Is a stone in a graveyard

the only place to find our names together?

Review of Poetry Month

 I began the month of April with the goal of reading more slowly and reading more poetry. And I did both.

On a whim, I decided to post a poem a few times during April on my WhatsApp status. I thought it would be a good way for me to pull out some poems I liked and maybe I'd find some new poetry. 

The first week of April was the week of Palm Sunday and Easter. There were so many great Easter poems that I shared a poem every day. Then I didn't want to break my streak. And I found if I didn't share a poem in the morning, one friend would ask where the poem was. :)

While I guessed that most of the people who saw my status would ignore the poems, I was surprised how many people, even rather unlikely ones, said that they enjoyed the poems. A few even stated that they were sad to see the month end.

At the beginning of the month, I would have guessed that I didn't have thirty favorite poems. I had decided that I would only share one poem per author, so that cut out sharing my collection of Amy Carmichael poems that I've enjoyed since I was a teen. But I ran out of month before I ran out of poems. I didn't even get to my favorite children's poems.

I began the month with no planning. Most days I had no idea what poem I would share the next day. I wouldn't say I shared the best examples of poetry by the best poets. Sometimes I shared a poem because it fit the one I had shared the day before. Sometimes I shared a poem because it was the one that caught my attention at 7:00 in the morning. Some of the poems were long-time favorites. Others I found because a friend said, "Have you read any poems by.....?" Some were shared when I asked a poet friend, "Can I share one of your poems this month?"

Was the month a success? I think so. I read (and enjoyed) far more poetry than usual. I loved finding new-to-me poets and hearing others' favorite poems. 

In case you are curious which poems I shared, here is the list. If they are found online, I'll include a link. If they were found in a book, I shared a link to the book. (Number 14 is a video of the author's friends reading her newly-published poetry book.)

1. The Bright Field by R.S. Thomas

2. Palm Sunday by Malcolm Guite

3. The Messiah by Sarah Beiler

4. The Thorn by Elizabeth S. Riall

5. As Simon by Lydia Hess

6. Royalty by Luci Shaw

7. Amazing Grace by Marlene Brubacher

8. Seven Stanzas for Easter by John Updike

9. The Lord Is Risen! by Emily J. Gingrich

10. Go and Tell Peter by Gwendolyn Eby

11. Spring Romance by Janice Etter

12. Plant Me by Lucy Martin

13. When Spring Breaks Forth by Rebecca Weber

14. The Goodness of the Lord in the Land of the Living by Leslie Bustard

15. Working with Daddy by Daniel Hess

16. Make Me Thy Fuel by Amy Carmichael

17. A Birthday Poem by Claudia Martin

18. Anniversary by Claudia Lehman

19. Like the Water by Wendell Berry

20. On His Blindness by John Milton

21. Thinning Pines by Sarah Martin

22. Ritual by Lori Hershberger

23. I Shall Not Want by Jennifer Perfect

24. What a Gorgeous Thing by Mary Oliver

25. The Mask by Maya Angelou

26. The Early Bird by Ted Kooser

27. Pray by Ruth Bell Graham

28. God's Grandeur by Gerald Manley Hopkins

29. Matthew VII, 28 ff. by Richard Wilbur

30. Make Me Red-Tailed Hawk by Abigain Carroll

You could probably find a theme in this collection if you searched for it. Grief, birds, God's Word, gardens, spring, quiet. 

If you are interested in stats - Nine men and twenty-one women are featured on this list. Nineteen of the poets are still living today and all but two were living within the last couple decades. Fifteen, exactly half, of these poets are Anabaptists (probably because I found many of these poems on The Curator. 

And best of all, seven of these authors I consider friends. And I could have included poetry by more friends if April had more days.

So, maybe you could say I most enjoy modern poetry written by Anabaptist women. 

Favorite Mac-and-Cheese

If you are a long-time reader of the blog, you know that in the past, I shared lots of recipes. The unexpected result of a blog full of recipes is that typically, when someone asks me for a recipe, I can easily send them a link. In fact, finding recipes on my blog is easy that I'm guilty of reading a recipe from this blog on my phone instead of searching for it in my recipe file.

But since I haven't been sharing recipes in recent years, newer recipes haven't been included in this filing system. One of those is this Mac-and-Cheese.

One of the first recipes I shared was my mom's baked macroni and cheese which continues to be a family favorite. But in 2020, we began helping with a monthly community meal in our nearby city. I offered to make a large electric roaster full of macaroni and cheese and needed to find a different method. 

I combined a few recipes to come up with a version that was simple and delicious. I think I made eight batches that first day, and it was consumed with rave reviews. 

I've lost count of how many times I've made mac-and-cheese for the community meal. It is perfect paired with lots of menu items and any time I offer to bring mac-and-cheese, I am never turned down. Though I think I've made a lot of good food over the years, it is a little embarrassing to realize that the lowly mac-and-cheese has garnered more praise than anything else I've made. 

So I'm sharing the recipe so that I have an easy way to send others the recipe. 

A few hints:

• If you aren't serving the mac-and-cheese immediately, make sure the pasta is fully cooked. If the macaroni is under-cooked, it will continue to absorb the sauce and the result will be a tacky mac-and-cheese. Since we like it super creamy, if I know it will be sitting for a while, I'll add another 1/2 cup of milk.
• Preshredded cheese is a big time-saver, but pre-shredded cheese includes anti-caking ingredients that make the sauce gritty. For best results, buy a chunk of cheese and shred it yourself. It is worth the extra time. If you have lots of mac-and-cheese to make, a food processor is a time saver.
• Feel free to change up the seasonings. How about a little garlic and rosemary? Adding a can of diced green peppers gives a nice zing.

Mac-and-Cheese

(serves 10) 

16 oz macaroni

1 T olive oil

4 Tablespoon butter

1/3 cup flour

4 cups milk

4 cups (12 oz) shredded Cheddar cheese

1 1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp pepper

Cook macaroni in boiling water until soft. Drain the water and drizzle oil on pasta and toss. 

Sauce: Melt butter in pan. Stir in flour. Add milk and stir over medium heat until thickened. Add cheese, salt, and pepper and stir until the cheese is melted. Pour cheese sauce over macaroni.

At this point you can serve immediatly. 

Or you can place the mac-and-cheese in a crockpot and keep warm until ready to serve. 

Or you can refrigerate the mac-and-cheese and warm it in the oven or crockpot the next day. 

Or you can place the mac-and-cheese in a 9x13 pan and bake in oven for fifteen minutes at 325 degrees. To add a layer of crunch, you can add a crumb topping with buttered cracker crumbs or bread crumbs. (Topping option: Mix 1 1/2 cup bread crumbs, 4 T. melted butter, 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese, and 1/4 tsp paprika.)

I make five batches of this recipe and place in a large electric roaster to serve about 75 people.