Celebrate My Children

I'm sharing the five goals that I set for myself when the quarantine started. I already shared about keeping a routine. My second goal was to "celebrate my children."

As a homeschooling mom, I spend nearly every waking hour with my children. Most of my energy and brain cells are given to them. It could sound like I'm a good mom - and I hope I am. But I know how often my heart isn't in the giving. How often I resent the giving. How often I withhold my heart.

Often, especially in the past few years, I've done the bare minimum in mothering. I did laundry and made meals and even read books to them. (I always read books.) But I didn't do more than I had to.

I'm not trying to make anyone feel guilty. There is days (months, years) that the bare minimum is all a mom can do. Children need to learn that all of life is not all about having fun. Mothers are not the Entertainer or Magic Genie. Children need to do chores, to contribute to the family life, and to accept limitations.

But too often I say "No" to a project, to an idea, to a special treat, just because I don't want to be bothered by the extra effort.

When I learned that we would be home all day, every day, for who-knows-how-long, I knew I needed to find special ways to celebrate my children. I decided to say "yes" more.

1. Say "yes" to special treats and menus. 

Does it matter if we stay up late some night and eat ice cream before bed? Probably not. But usually I would think of another collection of dirty dishes in the sink and say "no."

And why will I go to the "bother" of making soft pretzels when we have friends over, but never make them just for my children?

That first week I left the children plan menus. Of course they picked things we rarely, if ever, have - like rootbeer floats. Though I should have been avoiding grocery stores, I ended up at the store more often that week. But we had a lot of fun at meals that week- and the weeks after. Since losing Ed, I've lost a lot of joy of cooking, but the past month, I've enjoyed it more, maybe because I've considered the wishes of my children more when planning meals.



2. Say "yes" to messy.

Any home with six children is going to get untidy. I'm used the mess of Lego, dolls, and puzzle pieces. But when the children get out paints on the dining room table or start carving in the living room, I groan. And I don't usually initiate any ideas that make more messes.

One evening, my son helped me plan a mystery supper for the others. We prepared a meal with lots of individual components. We printed up menus with each food item and utensil - giving each a mystery name. Each person chose the mystery items they wanted for their three courses and wrote them on their menu. Then we served each course. Some had chosen (unintentionally) to eat chili, jello, and icecream with no utensils. The children had never had a mystery supper. Saying "yes" to messy, on this night, meant saying "yes" to lots of laughter.

3. Say "yes" to projects.

I can procrastinate a long time with projects that upset the household. Maybe I'm too stuck on routine. I know that tackling a project will mean a neglect of other things. But when our calendar cleared out, I figured this was a great time for projects.

My oldest daughter wanted to paint the girls' room. I can come up with all sorts of reasons not to paint, but my daughter did most of the work. After two or three days, their room looked so fresh and clean. The rearranged furniture expanded the size of the room. The upheaval was worthwhile. Now I'm working on two more painting projects both inside and out. Fitting a proejct around school means that it will drag out a while, but if I waited for the perfect time, I would never start.

I know that there are many times a mom needs to say "no" to their children. But the last few weeks I've discovered that I say "no" too often, when I just don't want to be bothered. Since I've been purposely looking for ways to celebrate my children, I've discovered that I'm a bit more selfish than I want to admit.

What about you? I'd love to hear what you are doing with your children on these days of quarantine.

Rise, Glorious Conqueror

Yesterday while I was cleaning, I listened to Coronovirus and Christ by John Piper. (You can download it for free.) I was again inspired to look for ways to bring God glory through this pandemic.

Nothing surprises our God. He is not wringing His hands helplessly. We don't have to resort to blame, or fear, or panic. Not when He is still the risen Lord and conqueror of death.

May His name prevail.

Rise, Glorious Conqueror
by Matthew Bridges
Hymns of the Church #261

1. Rise, glorious Conqu’ror, rise,
   Into Thy native skies;
   Assume Thy right;
   And where in many a fold
   The clouds are backward rolled
   Pass through those gates of gold,
   And reign in light!
2. Victor o’er death and hell!
   Cherubic legions swell
   Thy radiant train;
   Praises all heav’n inspire;
   Each angel sweeps his lyre,
   And waves his wings of fire—
   Thou Lamb once slain!
3. Enter, incarnate God!
   No feet but Thine have trod
   The serpent down:
   Blow the full trumpets, blow!
   Wider your portals throw!
   Savior triumphant, go
   And take Thy crown!
4. Lion of Judah, hail!
   And let Thy Name prevail
   From age to age;
   Lord of the rolling years,
   Claim for Thine own the spheres,
   For Thou hast bought with tears
   Thy heritage!

Keep a Routine

A month has went by since our lives have been altered by the pandemic. In many ways, this month has went much better than I expected. Most of the credit goes to my brother who has moved into our  house these weeks. Having another adult around has been a huge blessing.

When I learned that for a few weeks, at minimum, we would be spending most of our time at home, I made five personal goals. After a month, I can look back and see how much these five goals have been helpful to me.

In the next few days, I'll talk about each of these goals. And I hope you share with us what has been helping you stay sane in these weeks.

1. Keep a routine.

My life wasn't upended by this pandemic. I was already homeschooling; I spend most of my time at home. But we do have an active social life. Since the quarantine coincided with our return from a week in North Carolina, we had to re-find our routine. It was rougher than I expected. The weather was delightful, we were almost done with our school books, and all motivation was gone.

With all our social activities canceled, no longer could I say, "Let's finish our schoolwork, and then we'll go to the library." Or "Clean up your rooms quickly this afternoon, because friends are coming for pizza tonight." With no one coming over and nowhere to go, who feels like cleaning, or making special meals.

Like many of you, I feel the effect of quarantine brain. I struggle to concentrate or be motivated to tackle projects. I have more time than usual, but didn't feel like doing any of my projects. I could sew a new dress, but I don't have anywhere to wear it.

The tendency for me in time of uncertainties is to stay up late, sleep in, and react to each event of the day. I don't know what is going to happen next month, or next week, or tomorrow. When each day brings new announcements from government leaders, I can feel helpless to plan my day.

That is silly. Tomorrow I need to feed my children breakfast, and do laundry, and correct school work - regardless of the latest national news. My daily life is not affected by the news, at this point, except in my brain.

This in-limbo feeling was familiar to me from during Ed's treatment. I had learned then that I had to choose to make plans even when days felt uncertain.

So last month purposely considered our family routines. I assigned each day of the week to a child to help with meal planning and prep. I printed off a simple chart for the remaining school work so the children could see just how much they had to do these final weeks. We planned a simple church services to begin a new home-church routine. I forced myself to tackle projects like painting and sewing.

Four weeks later, we haven't kept our plans perfectly, but the fact that we had a plan, means that our days have flowed much better than they would have without a plan.

I'll be back with more of my goals. In the meantime, I'd love to hear how you are doing. Has quarantine brain been a problem for you? How have you pushed past it?

Good Shopping

My daughter said that if she had known that she'd be stuck at home for weeks, she would have stocked up on fabric to sew some dresses for herself.

Of course, we aren't going anywhere to wear a new dress, but she does need some dresses for summer, and she has extra time now.

I've never bought fabric online, but I told her to check Goods Store's website. This is a Mennonite store in Lancaster County, and I figured they would have fabric.

She found several fabrics she liked, as well as zippers to match, and we placed the order on Saturday. Today, two days later, they arrived in the mail. My daughter is stitching a dress as I type.

Good selection. Reasonable prices. Fast service. Though I like to support my local fabric stores, right now, this is a way to support another business that may be struggling since their doors have closed.

Goods Store has much more than fabric. A few years ago I reviewed their website but today they have no idea I'm writing this post.

Lift Your Glad Voices

There are so many wonderful Easter songs, and I wish badly that we could meet at church together to sing together. But heart worship can happen anywhere that you happen to be today.

(You can join our church's Easter service on Youtube.)

Lift Your Glad Voices will now always carry memories of Jess, since this was the last song she sang before her death.  I love the victory that is in these words.

Christ is risen!

Lift Your Glad Voices 
Henry Ware
Hymns of the Church #607

1. Lift your glad voices in triumph on high,
   For Jesus hath risen, and man shall not die.
   Vain were the terrors that gathered around Him,
   And short the dominion of death and the grave;
2. 
   He burst from the fetters of darkness that bound Him,
   Resplendent in glory to live and to save!
   Loud was the chorus of angels on high,
   “The Savior hath risen, and man shall not die.”
3. Glory to God, in full anthems of joy;
   The being He gave us death cannot destroy.
   Sad were the life we must part with tomorrow,
   If tears were our birthright, and death were our end;
4. 
   But Jesus hath cheered the dark valley of sorrow,
   And bade us, immortal, to Heaven ascend.
   Lift then your voices in triumph on high,
   For Jesus hath risen, and man shall not die.

A few other posts where I've shared Easter music.

The Strife is O'er

See the Conqueror Mounts

Covid Journal

The last few weeks feel like several months for most of us. We have lived a lot of different emotions, even those of us who have been largely untouched. I almost feel guilty when I think of how peaceful these weeks have been for me and the people I love. 

I think of how hard this would have been if this stress would have been heaped on us last spring when we were losing Ed. Then I pray for those who are in hard places, losing a loved one, making medical decisions, feeling overwhelmed with everyday pressures...and then this.

I don't want to minimize the suffering, by talking about my life. But for those of you who have kindly asked, "how are you doing?" I scrolled through the pictures on my camera to find out what we actually did in these weeks that we'll forever remember with the Covid label.

Mid-March found us in North Carolina. My oldest brother and his family spent a month coordinating work groups rebuilding homes from Hurricane Florence. We joined them for a week, along with my youngest brother and sister. My boys worked with my brothers helping people like this one, move from the camper where they've lived for 18 months, into their repaired home.

The girls found ways to keep busy. 

We stayed at a migrant camp on a blueberry farm, and the children delighted in the spring weather and grew layers of dirt. 

A week spent with cousins was far too short.

By the end of the week, we were hearing unexpected reports of school closings and large group bans. 

We planned to spend the weekend at Ed's sister Jean's house. We always love our times here and this was no exception. But Covid cut our visit short. 

Schools closed in Pennsylvania by the time we were home, but that didn't change much for homeschoolers. But when spring arrives, everyone is ready to be done. It was hard getting back to the books after a week's vacation in North Carolina, except for my eager kindergardener who loves learning to read.

 

I'm glad staying at home connected with nice outside weather where we could enjoy things like the first burger of the season.

We had been given the game Pandemic for Christmas. Now it felt a little too real. But I love that in this game, the players have to work together to try to beat the game. 

Staying home means more time for music making.

On our first Sunday without church, we visited the reservoir where it wasn't hard to practice social distancing when we were the only vehicle in the parking lot.

My boys have spent weeks carving wooden spoons.

And practicing on their new unicycle.

I love sharing books and have dreamed of having a home library. After public libraries closed, I offered to share books with my friends. They sent me an idea of books they liked, I selected a stack of books to pick up on our porch. So far 136 books have walked out our door.

I call them essential.

I'm very sorry for those who have lost their jobs, but the stay-at-home order means my youngest brother is spending most of his time at our house working on projects like replacing the drywall on our bathroom ceiling.

Our woodshed is nearly full thanks to my oldest brother and his boys who cut and split word at their place, my dad who hauled it to our house, and my boys who stacked it. 

My daughter will forever remember that her 16th birthday came days after the stay-at-home order. The weather cooperated to celebrate with a campfire even if we couldn't have a big party or get her drivers' permit.

The next night we celebrated a new teenager.

Our local hospital acquired thousands of N95 masks which needed elastic. I joined some ladies from church at the medical center to stitch and socialize over sewing machines.

Last Sunday afternoon we hiked a few tough miles on the Appalachian Trail to reach Chimney Rock.

This week my brother is fulfilling a long-time dream by helping my sons build a cabin in our pasture. 

I love that they are learning many skills by working with my brother.

We've had to cancel plans and ask questions we never dreamed. (Should I wear a mask when I shop for groceries?) We pray for our government leaders who make impossible decisions and medical workers who risk their lives.

But on Good Friday, I'm thankful for a foundation that doesn't change. Not last April. Not this April. The gift of salvation won thousands of years ago gives unchanging peace today.

Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift. (2 Corinthians 9:15)

It Is Well

Today is the third Sunday that our church has not gathered together for worship. Like everyone else in this unusual time, we are finding new routines and ways to connect with each other.

On the first Sunday that we spent at home, I felt that it was important to make some new traditions with my children. I didn't expect to be able to return to regular Sunday services in a week or two. I gave each of the older children a job for our own family worship service. For example, one chose a Bible story to read to the younger girls, another chose some Sunday School songs, another two hymns. After having a short time of singing and Sunday School, we listened to the sermon recorded at our church.

Our church is streaming sermons on their Facebook page. There are now sermons in both English and Spanish. You are welcome to listen in.

With all the noise online right now, I haven't known what to say.

I haven't been sharing favorite hymns very often in the last year, and I miss it. As long as we don't have regular Sunday morning services, I'm going to attempt to share a hymn on Sunday morning here.

"It Is Well With My Soul" is familiar to many of us.  I've heard the story of how it was written so often that it has become a cliche to me.

But when Ed was diagnosed with an aggressive brain cancer, he told me that he wanted "It Is Well With My Soul" sung at his funeral. He gave almost no other suggestions for the service than this song.

The words of this hymn were Ed's testimony. He truly lived his two years with a terminal diagnosis with his soul was at peace.

There is a lot of uncertainties in our lives today. We don't know how bad this pandemic will be. We don't know if it will affect the ones we love. We don't know how long it will take our economy to recover.

I'm not minimizing the hardship that many people are facing at this time. But if a 40-year-old with a terminal diagnosis can find peace, anyone can.

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. (Isaiah 26:3)

We often don't sing the fourth or fifth verse of this hymn, but I'm including the words of the complete hymn here.

It Is Well With My Soul
by Horatio Gates Spafford

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

1. When sorrows like sea billows roll;
   Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
   It is well, it is well with my soul.
   • Refrain:
     It is well with my soul,
     It is well, it is well with my soul.
2. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
   Let this blest assurance control,
   That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
   And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
3. My sin—oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!—
   My sin, not in part but the whole,
   Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
   Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
4. For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
   If Jordan above me shall roll,
   No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
   Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
5. But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
   The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
   Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
   Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
6. And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
   The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
   The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
   Even so, it is well with my soul.

Enjoy listening.