Thoughts After Attending a Wedding
In my five years as a widow
I’ve attended many weddings—
siblings, nephews, nieces, friends.
I’m grateful to be included,
invited to celebrate,
part of a community that values marriage,
honors commitment,
assumes permanence—
“until death do us part.”
But weddings are hard.
My presence feels like a pallor,
rain on a picnic,
a reminder that marriage isn’t forever.
It only lasts until death,
and death comes for all.
(Sometimes to the young.)
I wish death would take us together,
but usually one is left to walk alone.
The wedding service comes to the holy moment.
Hands clasp, vows spoken, promises made—
a mystery.
Two people, two individuals, two humans—
now one flesh
for life.
I said “I do.”
I’m still living,
but Ed is not.
I was one flesh, but now...
What is half of “one flesh”?
No wonder it hurts.
Should there be a ceremony
to signify the end of a marriage?
Something more than a funeral—
all dead have funerals.
Something more than a trip to the bank
to remove his name from our checking account.
Something…
but what?
I watch this love-struck, starry-eyed couple
say their vows.
They won’t feel any different
the moment they become one.
What happens in an instant,
takes years
to grow into oneness.
My marriage was rent
the moment that Ed breathed his last,
but maybe it takes years
to grow into a single person again.be I’ll limp for the rest of my life.tooleh on Freepik
: Image by prostooleh on Freepik
: Image by prostooleh on Freepi
: Image by prostooleh on Freepik
That is beautiful (though painful), Gina. I truly had never thought of it in just this way. Thank you for sharing your heart. This poem will minister to other widows and widowers who read it. And maybe it will help me be much more sensitive to how my widowed friends are feeling.
ReplyDeleteThis is beautifully written and completely true. No one understands until they have had to walk through losing the one you love. I pray comfort for your sweet heart. I had 34 years, 4 months and 9 days with my husband. I cannot wait to see him again, whole and healed and in no pain.
ReplyDeleteDear Gina,
ReplyDeletethis poem, though painful and sad, is just beautiful. You have a great way with words, so many times I felt blessed by reading them. Thank you!
Long-time blog reader of yours, though we've never met
Mary
Gina sending you a big hug.
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful, Gina. But it not just for those of still at home. After 66 years together, we have to realize each day that it is not forever. So each sunny morning when I awake, I say, "Thank you, Lord, for one more day."
ReplyDelete