This is a
relevant subject to me. I’ve been thinking about it lately—our
family is entering a new (and wonderful) stage. My “baby” is two
years old, and my oldest daughter is becoming a responsible young
lady. That means I have more freedom, besides someone who can go
ahead with housework even when I’m doing something else. However,
the two oldest do youth activities now, so my schedule sometimes needs
to become one that accommodates theirs.
Along with a new
stage comes a new kind of busyness, new joys, new challenges. I like to think I’m the kind of person whose
motto is, “Wherever you are, be all there.” So I try to live in
the moment, and I look forward to the unfolding of this new stage in
much the same way as I looked forward to watching my firstborn’s
developments as he grew. Life is an adventure. I can tell already
that I will love this stage. I love the fact that the older children
are becoming less like dependents and more like friends. I love not
having a tiny baby and a huge diaper bag to haul around wherever I
go.
Goals and
routines have several specific names to me: personal relationship
with God, building quality relationships with each individual
personality among my children, and writing life. Hopefully, in that
order.
My personal relationship with God, of course, is kept up by regular
personal worship. Most of my mothering life, it has worked for me to
have my devotions first thing in the morning, unless a baby was
unusually uncooperative, in which case I tried to make sure it
happened sometime during the day. I love the verse that
says God “will gently lead those that are with young.” He has
given us these precious, unpredictable, demanding, marvelous souls,
and He understands the demands on a mother’s time. So I
know He understood about the days when my personal devotions just
didn’t happen. However, I also know that when I skip my devotions,
it is I that suffers, not God. What I like about this stage is that I
have more freedom and empty arms to keep a notebook with my Bible and
copy the Bible as I read it. I have been doing this for several
months now, and I love how it forces me to really think about what
I’m reading.
As the children
grow and change, so do their needs. Right now, my biggest concern is
that I’m somehow missing it with connecting to the hearts of my
“middle children.” Actually, that has been a niggling fear ever
since I got to the stage where we had a “middle child.” The older
children become people in their own right, secure in their place as
“the oldest ones.” The little ones are dependent and cute, and
obviously need Mom. The middle children—well, they’re a part of
the family, but they get caught between criticism from the older ones
and Mom assuming that they can pretty much take care of themselves.
Do I see their needs? Are they important enough to me that I’m
willing to be intentional about meeting them?
My writing life
is a rather new development for me, and the one I’m still grappling
with the most to fit it in in ways that are healthy. In the
afternoons when the scholars are gone and the little ones are
sleeping, I have a quiet hour or two that I try to use wisely.
Sometimes I read, and sometimes I write. Last spring, when I had lots
of sewing to do, yet badly wanted to keep my tryst with the computer,
plus had a long list of books I wanted to read and too little time to
read, besides wanting to shed a few extra pounds, I made it a point
to do at least some of each every day. I have a planner, which I use
much like a bullet journal, and for several weeks, I had a list—sew,
read, write, exercise. I made a check beside each thing for every day
when I made it happen, whether it was five minutes or ninety.
When the children
wake up, or arrive home from school, or come in from outside, I try
to meet them with eye contact and actually hearing them when they
talk. I try not to let computer time
compromise our sacred tradition of reading aloud for awhile before
they go to bed.
I pray about each
of these things a lot. God cares about my relationship with Him, my
connections with those closest to my heart, and my writing bringing
Him glory without compromising what’s most important.
-Sarah J. Martin - Ontario
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