Sunday, May 19, 2019

Ed's Obituary

Ed's death was so expected, and I had wondered what I'd feel after he was gone. Not shock, obviously. Relief that Ed is no longer suffering. A little bewildered as I often think I need to go check on Ed. Of course there is grief. But since I've been grieving since October, relief is greater than grief right now

Yesterday all my family gathered at our house. Since I'm the oldest of nine and have over a dozen nieces and nephews, it made a crowd. The weather was absolutely perfect. Originally we had planned to be at our homeschool field day on Saturday so the men must have been in a sport mood. While we women sat under the trees and watched the little ones, the men played hard games of Ultimate Frisbee and Spike Ball with the older children. My children were sun-burnt, grass stained, and weary by the day's end.

If you are a long-time reader of this blog you may remember the sudden deaths of my father-in-law and brother-in-law. I well remember the stunned emotion while sitting in the living room with family planning funeral arrangements.

Ed's brothers had done so much work the past week that most of the funeral details were already made, and there was no panicky decisions to make.

You may read Ed's obituary.

I know that some of you who are my real-life friends are trying to decide if you should make the trip to the funeral. I won't tell anyone not to come, but there will be a crowd, and I won't be able to spend with each friend that comes.

So if you decide to send an email, write a card, call me on the phone, or stop in for a visit, instead of attend the viewing or funeral, I won't be offended.

Thanks so much for all your support and prayers. I feel nearly embarrassed by the flood of riches I've been given through your love. I'm sorry I cannot personally acknowledge each of your kind notes.

46 comments :

  1. I'm relieved to see you're doing well, and the children are up to play games. Michael and I will try to make it to the viewing, if we can't we'll try to make a trip to see you. Praying for you and I'm glad you didn't have to rush and make decisions of all the arrangements, we had to with my mam and it was horrible and stressful. Thinking of you today dear. Please call if you need anything or just want to talk. Always here for you.


    Your friend
    Tiera

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  2. Gina, I'm so glad you have family surrounding you. Thank you for providing us a link to the obituary. Your family remains in my prayers daily. You are a source of inspiration to me with your quiet and gentle spirit and faith in our Heavenly Father.
    Blessings and love,
    Betsy

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  3. My condolences on the loss of your dear husband. Your faith is comforting as I deal with my husband's condition as well. Prayer is what gives me strength. Your children are all beautiful and a joy I am sure. I am praying for God's peace for all of you.

    My husband's cousin and her husband both died of Glioblastoma. He died within 3 months of diagnosis and she died six months later. They are the only two people, we were told, non-related, (husband and wife) known to have lived together and been diagnosed days apart and then died from this deadly disease. They were not able to determine how it happened as it did. It was such a tragedy to lose both in such a short time. Their children are adults. But they knew the Lord, for which we were thankful.

    I just ran across your column in Amish 365. I had not seen it before, but will be watching for it now. God bless you, your children and all your family.

    Dale

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  4. God bless you and your family at this difficult time. Sending hugs and prayers.

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  5. Gina, thanks for always taking the time to keep your "blog prayer team" up to date. Sharing is definitely part of the healing process. Sometimes I do feel like I know you personally; that is how in touch with your lives I feel through your blog. May God continue to bless as you enter this new phase of your life. Gaylene, Bastrop, TX

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  6. Hola ,siento la pérdida de su esposo ,ha estado estos dos años en mis oraciones ,
    Que El Señor traiga consuelo y paz ,Asus corazones en medio de su triste momento y pérdida ,
    Sin duda Ed esta con el Señor por su fe puesta en Jesucristo Señor nuestro ,amén ,mis condolencias ,y abrazos para usted y los suyos,

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  7. My mother had dementia for over 10 years and was in a nursing home for 9 of them. I visited her every weekend but 2 or 3 a year and took her to the family gathering on major holidays until she got to the point that she could not handle the fuss and leaving her familiar surroundings so my daughter and I visited her on those days. Her body died in 2015, about 4-5 years after her mind did. She no longer knew us, could not read, speak, feed or dress herself, etc. Frankly, it was a relief that she had completed her earthly journey and was with God in his heaven. I understand what you mean about thinking you need to check on Ed. I was not sure what to do the first weekend I did not visit Mom. I missed her but I had been missing everything that was her for a long time before she died.

    Father's Day and each major holiday will be tough this year. I will be praying for you and the children as you adjust to yet another new normal. I think it is awesome that the children have so many uncles who will step up to provide a continyed male presence in their lives.

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  8. I am so very sorry to hear of Ed's death. Your writings and actions over the past two years have made a great statement about how to accept the impending loss of a loved one by making the most of the time allotted to you and considering death as an inevitable part of life. Our reception into heaven surely must be a wonderful and uplifting experience. You are so fortunate to have family and friends nearby to help you in any way they can through the grieving process which will follow for you and your children.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you as you adjust to your new reality.

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  9. Praying for you and family and believing for our Lord's best now. " Let not your heart be troubled."

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  10. Gina, I can imagine that it will take time for you to get used to not having to check on Ed etc. I am sure your focus will now be on your children as they will be hurting too after losing their Dad but what wonderful memories they will have of him. Big hugs from Australia.

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  11. May God be your comfort in this time of parting. May He give you strength, guidance and peace... -Susan Nolt

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  12. Gina,I started following your blog long before Ed received his diagnosis and have continued during your journey facing cancer.I already feel like I know you from reading your blog. My brother, was in PA. for a training and he was with Vaun Love & Prayers

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  13. Gina, praying for you and the children! May you continue experiencing God's grace and His presence surrounding you! May He give comfort.

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  14. I wept yesterday to see your post about Ed's passing. With wistful longing we look with our eyes closed, wondering wondering what these loved ones are experiencing. We prayed God's presence and Grace upon you all

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  15. My deepest sympathy to you and your family.

    Lorraine

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  16. We are holding you all in prayer. I am reminded of Even if You don't, by MercyMe. May His peace and grace hold you in the days and time to come.

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  17. My Deepest sympathy at this tremendous loss. Keep your happy memories with your husband close at hand. They are great comfort.

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  18. While there is relief in the release from his suffering, and I believe he is now in that most amazing plane of Being, my heart goes out to you and your family and friends for Ed's loss. It is not his death that saddens us, for it is only the next part of life; his absence is where the pain lies. Peace and light, Gina. <3

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  19. Dear Gina - I, along with many others wept at the news of Ed's passing. I am so sorry for your loss. The obituary is beautiful and I will continue to hold your family in my thoughts and prayers. May God continue to provide comfort, support and love to your family.

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  20. Dear Gina, With tears in my eyes, my heart goes out to you and your family. You are such a wonderful woman. I'm so thankful for the time you had with Ed to love him, hold him, and alas let him go on into God's arms. I pray many blessings over you and your family in this time.

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  21. Gina I'm praying you all. It's such a blessing to have family around. I can't make it to the viewing or funeral but I will be praying for you all. I wish there was a way to listen by phone or live stream but that can be very expensive. Sending you hugs!

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  22. Gina and family... our thoughts and prayers continue with you. May you feel Jesus and HIS comfort especially near you - at this time... and beyond!! He has much grace for the days ahead, but one day at a time...He is all we need! The obituary was beautiful.

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  23. I pray you and your children feel God's nearness at this time.

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  24. I never quite know what to write. My heart aches for you and the children.

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  25. Eternal rest grant unto him oh Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him. May he rest in peace. Amen

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  26. Dear Gina, I will continue to pray that the Lord will give you peace and rest and to comfort you and the children as you grieve for Ed. I'm so very sorry for your loss and pray the Lord will supply your every need both now and in the days ahead.

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  27. I'm a long time reader. So saddened by this news and thinking of your family.

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  28. Dear Gina,
    Praying for you all at this time, may you have blessings and joy in amongst the sorrow and God's peace at this time.
    Blessings and Hugs
    shelley p
    from over the pond

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  29. Thinking of you and your family.
    God be with you.
    love from Sheree.
    xxxx

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  30. We are sending you our love and prayers from Indianapolis, IN. Saw a hummingbird outside my window today...I lost my husband in January (he was 38yrs old...) I understand somewhat...as he was battling heart failure. He was my absolute best friend and our foundation was Christ. God bless you and your family. I will continue to pray for you. Your babies will amaze and surprise you and God will work through them to help you heal. I am so very sorry to hear this... Hugs and love!

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  31. Dear Gina,

    Today is the day of Ed’s funeral. It will undoubtably be a very difficult day for you and the children. I wish you strength and comfort throughout this trying time. Grateful for your large family on both sides and your close community who I am certain will be supporting you in the time to come. Lots of love, linda

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  32. Continued prayers for you Gina, your children, and the extended family. Praying that you will be carried on eagle's wings.Isaiah 40:31

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  33. Warmest thoughts to you and your family. I'm sorry for your loss.
    -Hannah S

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  34. I've been praying for you throughout the day knowing it would be difficult. We will continue to pray for you and the children.

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  35. May the Eternal God be your refuge; underneath you are His everlasting arms. We have been lifting up your family in prayer, especially this week. Asking God to hold you all close to His heart. He cares for you like none other!

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  36. So glad for how God is carrying you. I know the days, weeks, months, years will not be easy, as the most recent days fade and you have more times of missing the better days. Times when the littles or the boys JUST NEED THEIR DADDY. When you just need to tell Ed, or feel his arms around you, or hear his voice of reason. When you finally have all the children asleep and climb into your lonely bed by yourself. God knows all that too and I trust HE will meet your needs as they arise. Sometime, I would like to read about how the last months, weeks, or days went. Did Ed's bad headaches return? Did you know when you had taken your last walk with Ed, had your last good conversation with him, heard him say I love you for the last time, etc? Did you feel closure, or did things slip away so gradually that you didn't know it was the last? If this is not something you want to write about ever, that's fine, and if it's not something you're ready for now but maybe sometime, that's fine too. Praying for you. Sarah Sauder

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  37. Thinking of you all at this the saddest of times. I am so sorry for your loss.

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  38. I'm praying that you will continue to have as much support as you need now that the funeral is past and life continues. I am happy to think of you with loving family around you, and am praying that you and the children are experiencing God's comfort. Give yourself lots of time to realize your new life and what it entails.

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  39. Dear Gina, first excuse my English, I write from Spain. I send you my deepest condolences, I am terribly sorry for the loss of your dear Ed. Just tell her that she must be very proud of having done everything possible for the sake of her husband and children, that peace of mind for doing the right thing. Also tell him that you are an inspiration to many people, including myself. I’ve been following her blog for a while and I’ve never dared write it, for me it’s like opening a window to a learning school. Needless to say, go forward, for all who follow you know that you will follow, and especially knowing that Ed stands beside our Lord in heaven taking care of you all. A big hug. Maria del Carmen

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  40. Thank you for sharing your journey with us! You are an incredible inspiration. You are in my prayers. May the God of all peace keep you wrapped in His embrace. I have never met you but your story touches me and I care so much about you and your family.

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  41. I’m again so sorry for your loss. May God continue to hold you close and grant you His peace, which passes all understanding.

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  42. Praying as you navigate through these new and difficult days.

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  43. Dear Gina and the children, what a terrible loss you suffered. Dear Gina, we all will be there one day, but it is such pain to know that your Ed went there so early in life. It is not his fault that he didnt live long. But he has done many wonderful things in life, and was a man of virtue, and had good kids and a good life with you as a wife. He was happy, and he didnt want the life to end early. In 40 days (in Russian tradition) the soul leaves the earth and goes to be with the Lord. No entertainments during this time, and relatived wear black. After that, candles are lit and the mess is served at the church in the name of the deseased as a final goodbye.. I dont know how Mennonites do and behave during those 40 days, sure they do it different though. Ayway, we send you sincere condolescences in this hard time.

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  44. Thinking of you and praying as you find a new normal for your family. May God show his presence clearly to you and your children.

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  45. such a journey you have traveled, will continue to keep you in our prayers and thoughts, god is so powerful, our protector, our saviour, amen

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  46. Dear Gina,
    May God give you comfort, strength, for you to carry on with your family, thank you for sharing all your happy and sad stories.
    God bless you and your family.

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