31-Day Phone Challenge - Day 6

 

The smart phone has been compared to the slot machine.

The slot machine was designed to encourage compulsive use and is considered the most addictive device ever invented.

Most of us wouldn’t dream of gambling, but the phone was designed to give us the same addictive hormone triggers as the slot machine. When I check my phone, I may find a fun email or a text from a friend. This reward gives a boost of dopamine – the happy hormone which reinforces the reward.

We are “addicted to our phones because we crave immediate approval and affirmation.” Tony Reinke in 12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You

The contrasting hormone to dopamine is cortisol, the stress hormone. Some psychologists claim that our phones promote anxiety because we worry that we are missing something.

Social media sites were purposely designed to be endless. You will never come to the end of Google. Or Instagram. Or Youtube. There are 500 hours of video uploaded onto Youtube every minute. Every minute! There is always another post, another link, another video. When we lay down our phones, we know that we will miss something.

With dopamine rewarding us with notifications and cortisol plaguing us every time we shut off our phones, no wonder we are glutting ourselves with phone time.

“The urge to check Twitter or refresh Reddit becomes a nervous twitch that shatters uninterrupted time into shards too small to support the presence necessary for an intentional life.” Cal Newport in Digital Minimalism

Mark 4:18-19 describes the setting of our world today. “And these are they which are sown among thorns; such as hear the Word, and the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the Word, and it becometh unfruitful.”

Today’s challenge: Turn off most, if not all, notifications on your phone. You can always turn them back on if you find you need them, but rarely are social media notifications an emergency.

When my phone would ding with a WhatsApp message, all my children would rush to my phone. And, to be honest, I’d be tempted to stop what I was doing, too. Checking a short WhatsApp message not only interrupted my task, but often turned into twenty minutes on my phone. Turning off the notifications has significantly cut down phone distractions for me.

As with all these challenges, adjust them to fit your needs. Your life may require you to be more connected. Some apps can be set to allow only calls and notification from specific numbers. So if you want to allow calls from your husband and children, but not the rest of the world, you can.

31-Day Phone Challenge - Day 5

 

Smartphones haven’t been around for fifty years, so we don’t know the results of long-term use, but numerous books have been written on the affects of the internet on our attention spans, sleep cycles, memory, brain circuits, and more.

And none of it is good.

Catherine Price writes “If you wanted to invent a device that could rewire our minds, if you wanted to create a society of people who were perpetually distracted, isolated, and overtired, if you wanted to weaken our memories and damage our capacity for focus and deep thought, if you wanted to reduce empathy, encourage self-absorption, and redraw the lines of social etiquette, you’d likely end up with a smart phone.” How To Break Up With Your Phone

In Irresistible, Adam Alter states that statistics show that the average user is on her phone almost three hours every day and picks up her phone almost 40 times daily.

If you do the math, that is 20 hours a week. You don’t want to know what that comes to in a month. Or a year. Or a lifetime.

When I installed a tracker on my phone, I was horrified that my phone use fit into those hourly norms. (Though I justified myself by saying that my children use my phone frequently.)

What could we be doing, what should we be doing, with all that time?

Social media has no cues for when you are full—when you have been online long enough. In fact, whistle blowers inside the industry, such as Tristan Harris, tell us that social media has been deliberately designed to make you crave more, to keep you from being ever satisfied.

The more time you spend on social media, the more you click and comment and share, the more money they make. Facebook, which also owns Instagram and Whatsapp, is worth hundreds of billions of dollars—made from selling our attention to advertisers.

Several thousand years ago, the writer of Proverbs wrote that human eyes are never satisfied. (Proverbs 27:20) In contrast, Psalms proclaims that those that seek God and praise Him are satisfied. (Psalm 22:26, 36:8, 63:5, 65:4)

Satisfaction won’t be found in social media, but it can be found in God.

Today’s Challenge: If you installed a phone tracker a few days ago, check the results. Are you surprised? What apps are you spending the most time on? (If it is your Bible app, you don’t have anything to worry about.) Do you wish you were spending your time in a different way?

31-Day Phone Challenge - Day 4

 

As daughters of God, we want to love the Lord with all our heart soul, mind and strength. But, would it be too strong to state that the default setting on our phones is to draw our hearts away from God?

Colossians 3:1-2 says, “If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.”

Our phones are a tool. But a tool like a knife, though it can do harm, is not programmed to do evil. You don’t fear that, as you are chopping carrots for dinner, your paring knife will suddenly attack you.

Phones are different. Yes, you can choose to control your phone and do good with your phone, but your phone has been intentionally designed to prompt addictive behavior. It has been manipulated to be a conduit of lies against God and source of evil entertainment to your home.

It is easy for me to justify myself. I’m not tempted by porn, or gaming, or movies. There is so much good on my phone—podcasts, books, worship music, messages from godly friends. But yet, the good can distract from the best.

“It is difficult to serve God with our heart, soul, strength and mind when we are diverted and distracted and multi-tasking everything.” - Douglass Groothuis

Today’s Challenge: Ask yourself, What do I love about current technology? What do I not love? What changes do I notice in myself when I spend a lot of time on my phone? What changes would improve my relationship with my phone?

31-Day Phone Challenge - Day 3

 

For many years, 2 Peter 1:3 has been one of my favorite verses.

According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue:

I love knowing that God isn’t stingy. He offers a victorious life. He prepares a banquet to supply my soul’s nutritional needs.

But our enemy is enticing us with fake food. He tries to tell us to feed our emotional needs with likes and friends. We can be so busy and distracted that we fail to notice that we’ve lost our hunger for God and our soul is starving. We can keep our phones within constant reach so we are never bored. But, according to statistics, people today are becoming more lonely and depressed—and those stats were before the isolation brought on by the coronovirus. We fill our soul needs with more entertainment, more games, more friends, more time on the screen, only to become more empty.

“True freedom from the bondage of technology comes not mainly from throwing away the smartphone, but from filling the void with the glories of Jesus that you are trying to fill with the pleasures of the device.” John Piper from 12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You

Today’s challenge: For the coming week, when you pick up your phone, ask yourself “Why am I picking this up? What triggered me to pick up my phone? What emotion do I feel? What do I hope to gain from picking this up?

31-Day Phone Challenge - Day 2

 

Many people today don’t see anything wrong with spending eight hours a day playing computer games.

If this life is all there is, why not have as much fun as possible? Why not watch/view/read whatever brings you pleasure?

We need an eternal view to be deliberate about our phone use.

While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:18

We were created in the image of God to reflect Christ to the world. What we desire becomes our idol. What we worship becomes our model. When we worship Christ, we become like Christ. To use a Facebook term, we become what we “like.”

Can our phone cravings become idolatry?

Idolatry isn’t just bowing down to a golden idol. Idolatry is finding ultimate meaning in the created instead of the Creator.

“We idolize our phones when we lose our ability to ask if they help us (or hurt us) in reaching our spiritual goals.” from 12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You by Tony Reinke

In the next weeks we’ll be considering how technology and our phones are affecting us. But ultimately we need to ask God to give us a vision for our media use. Unless our hearts change, even smashing our phone won’t bring victory. Maybe God wants you to use your phone less, or maybe He wants you to use your online time in a better way—to encourage or evangelize—becoming a producer instead of a consumer.

Today’s challenge: Install a tracking app on your phone, if your phone doesn’t already have one. I use Your Hour, but there are many other options. In a few days, we’ll look at the results.

31-Day Phone Challenge - Day 1

 

For the last few years, I shared a blog series in January. Usually the focus was spending time in God’s Word.

I’ve talked to numerous women, old and young, who admit that technology has had a negative effect on their priorities. Most of us know we need to spend more time in prayer and Bible study, yet we find ourselves spending far too much time on our phones.

I’m grateful for the role technology has played in my life. The ability to blog and connect with many of you is a gift. I love the convenience of online communication. But do the benefits outweigh the dangers? What have I lost with a smart phone in my purse?

For the month of January, I plan to share a 31-Day Phone Challenge. I’ll be sharing things I’ve learned, Scripture for meditation, questions to ponder, and practical ideas on controlling our phone use.

I’m not sharing this phone challenge because I’ve got it figured out, but because I have needed consider changes in my life. I hope to learn even more from you, so please share your insights in the comments during this month-long challenge.

Today’s challenge: Pray the words of Psalms 139:23-24. Focus on the last phrase

“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

Do my daily phone habits help me see the glory of God? Or does it kill my desire for God?

If you want to make sure you don't miss a post this month, sign up to read the blog by email, scroll to the bottom of the page for the signup form, or email me at walkingbymyside AT gmail.com.

Favorite Books in 2020

At the end of the year, I love looking back on the list of books I read. Many times just seeing the title brings a flood of memories of where I was and how I felt when I was reading that book. 

I began the year by taking part in the Brighter Winter Book Challenge hosted by Daughters of Promise. I read many more books in January and February than I would have otherwise. Since I was also trying to spend less time on my phone, the book challenge was perfect. I love how they gave me the flexibility to choose my own books. (The 2021 Brighter Winter Book Challenge is now open. Want to join me?)

In the spring with the pandemic news swirling, I struggled to concentrate and read books. I read a few books that were awful, and decided I should never read another book, no matter how good the reviews, unless someone I personally know recommends it. But then I found some real book treasures and fell in love with reading again. 

Here is six nonfiction and seven fiction books that I most enjoyed in 2020.

This post contains affiliate links so if you click over to Amazon and make any purchase a small percentage goes to me without any change to your cost.

Adult Nonfiction

Four Seasons in Rome by Anthony Doerr

Doerr was writing his masterpiece (All the Light We Cannot See) and was given a year in Rome with an apartment and a writing office. So he moved to Rome with his infant twins and promptly hit writer's block. I loved this book describing his year as a writer, new father, and traveler. 

Humilty by Andrew Murray

This small book is a classic for a reason. After reading Humily, most other books feel like fluff. Solid and convicting and should become an annual reread.

12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You by Tony Reinke

I read numerous books on technology and it is hard to pick a favorite. But if you want to choose one book on technology that will stamp on your toes and could change your life, read this one. Then pick another from my list of books on technology.

The Highway and Me and My Earl Gray Tea by Emily Smucker

I've read Emily's blog for years and feel like I know her though we've never met. This book tells the story of her year of traveling around the US living in various Mennonite communities. But more than a travel memior, Emily honestly shares her struggles with singleness, loss, and illness.

Atomic Habits by James Clear

I've read other books about habits, but I'm not sure any are as practical as this one. I love books that inspire me to change today, and this one does. Easy to read and perfect book for January.

Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell

I listened to this book in the spring and thought of it often during the discussions on race this summer, though it isn't a book about race but about communication. Why do we misunderstand people so often? And even worse, why do we think we understand people and then get it so wrong? Gladwell's books are always memorable and the audio of this book is outstanding. Clips from interviews, and even court cases, makes this book unforgetable though some of the content is hard to stomach and is for adults only.

Adult Fiction

I hate spoilers, so I won't share many details on any of these books, but if you like well-written fiction that carries you off to another time and place, try any of these. That is, if your reading tastes are similiar to mine. Probably all of these books contain something that I'd change, but they are reasonably clean of sensuality and language and contain characters and plots that I found edifying. Your tastes may vary.

Peace Like a River by Leif Enger

Enger's book has been on my to-be-read list for over ten years. Maybe I was reluctant because I knew too much about it, but when I finally got into this on audio, I couldn't stop. The writing quality is superb. A perfect read for this winter if you want to travel to the Dakota Badlands in the snow searching for a prodigal son. If you like To Kill a Mockingbird, I think you'll like this one. 

Dear Mrs. Bird by A.J. Pearce

I enjoy World War 2 books and this one carried me to London during the Blitz and made me cry. Yet, it is more heartwarming than sad. Perfect on audio.

Gilead by Marilynne Robinson

Another book that has been on my list for years. The beginning moves slow as we listen to an old man's letters to his young son, but by the end I was hooked. There is a reason it won the Pulitzer. Some say that Home, the companion book to this one, is even better. I have it on my list to read in January.

Dear Mr. Knightley by Katherine Reay

Don't bother reading this is you haven't read Jane Austen's books. But if you know Emma, Mr. Darcy, Mr. Knightley, and Elizabeth then you'll love this book which follows a young woman who grew up in foster homes who loves classic literature. The plot might be unbelievable, but you'll still be rooting for her. Another book that was great on audio. (I'm wondering, does audio give me a better reading experience? Or did I just do a lot of audios this year? Maybe both.)

The Secrets of the Charmed Life by Susan Meisner

Another delightful story set in the London Blitz, this one telling of the circumstances that divided two sisters for decades. The audio had that delightful British accent.

Jayber Crow by Wendell Berry

I've wanted to read a Berry novel for years. His character, Jayber, carries us to the Kentucky riverside, describing his boyhood and the journey that took him away from the river and back again. Don't expect anything dramatic in this book, just delightful characters and Berry's love for the agarian life of the early 1900's. I can't wait to visit Port William in Berry's other books.

When Crickets Cry by Charles Martin

Another river in the south, this one in Georgia, but a modern time period where a little girl waits for a heart transplant. Another wonderful book on audio at Scribd.

What was your favorite books read in 2020?