Growing Pains

Every mom wants her child to grow, but some days, we just want it to slow down a little. Emeline shares on the comfort God gives in the growing pains of mothering.

Growing Pains

by Emeline Lehman

Next week my firstborn will enter first grade.

It hurts a little, this change. She is my daughter. I have loved her, held her, trained her. Next week, she will let go my hand and walk eagerly into the world of school. 

I can see her now, hair neatly braided, new dress a tad too long, pink lunchbox in one hand, black book bag in the other. But…that will be next week, and this is tonight.

Tonight she is sick. Her temperature is near 103. I have given her medicine, tucked her into bed with a prayer, but she is quietly crying and moaning. I pause in the doorway and look at her. 

So small and miserable she looks, curled in her twin bed. I turn and walk back, bend over and say, “Kelsey, would you like if I would rock you and sing to you for a while?” 

She nods, and her tears stop. I wrap her in a soft blanket and sit down in the rocking chair. She curls her legs beneath her, and rests her head on my shoulder. Her legs are long and thin and her forehead is hot against my cheek. I wrap my arms around her and realize with a start that she hardly fits on my lap anymore. 

It has been more than six years since I first held her. I can see her now, thin arms and legs flailing, skin wrinkled and peeling, hair matted, eyes swollen. 

And beautiful. Yes, very beautiful. I had cuddled her close and marveled.

With a pang, I wonder when she will outgrow my lap. When will be the last time she curls up there and I wrap my arms around her? 

But tonight, oh yes, tonight she still fits. I hold her a little closer and sing more softly. I brush wisps of hair from her forehead and kiss her. Her eyes are large and brown, heavy with sleep and fever. I look at her. She looks up at me, and smiles. I realize again that she is beautiful. 

Oh, daughter mine, someday you may think yourself too big to curl up on my lap. You will be as tall as I am, with big people worries on your mind. But it comforts my heart to know you will never be too big for God’s lap. It hurts a little to watch you grow up and move farther away from me. 

But I can let you go, knowing God will not. 

When my lap is insufficient, curl up on His and be comforted.

 Emeline has been married almost nine years to Levern and has three children. She lives on a dairy farm in southern Pennsylvania. Emeline loves tea parties, used book shopping, good laughs, warm sharing with friends, quality time with her husband, and bedtime cuddles with her children.  She is amazed that although she heard about God and the Bible since she was born, she still has so much to learn! You can contact her at levern@emypeople.net