More in Number Than the Sand

I remember the day I realized that the world didn't revolve around me. 

Of course I knew in my head that I wasn't the center of the universe. I knew that only a tiny number of people on earth even knew of my existence. But somehow I viewed my life on center stage, with the spotlight on me, with my dreams, my griefs, my plans in the forefront and everyone else circling around me.

On that day, I was shopping and looked at the many people, and realized that, just like me, their lives were consumed by their dreams, their griefs, their plans. I wondered if others also had a ridulous sense of self-importance. Maybe each person I saw, and all the billions of other people in the world, also viewed their life as in the spotlight on center stage, with all other people as the extras of the set. Maybe we are all self-centered and wake each morning with our dreams, griefs, and plans as the most important thing in the universe. 

I am responsible for my thoughts, motives, words, and actions, so these things are necessarily important to me. But ever since that day, I've often looked at those I pass on the street, the driver of the car beside me, the strangers I elbow in a crowd and feel small. My dreams and plans, which feel so big to me, are unknown and unimportant to them. As one of the billions, my life is tiny.

Earlier this month we spent a week at the Outer Banks, North Carolina. Each morning I woke at my normal hour, peeked at the alarm clock, and considered my options. I was on vacation and could roll over and sleep a few more hours. But how can a person lay asleep at sunrise on the beach? 

I scrambled into clothes, grabbed my Bible, and headed to the top deck of our rental house, where the ocean was just barely visible. But the pounding of the waves continued to pull me. I popped in my earbuds, turned on my audio Bible, slipped on my sandals, and spent the next hour walking along the surf as the sky was painted pink and orange by the rising sun. 

I'm in awe of the power of the rhythmic waves. They are consistent, persistent, unrelenting. It didn't matter if I was watching or lying in bed. All over the world, day and night, year after year, the waves crash on the shore, moving methodically up and down with tide schedules so dependable they can be made years in advance. 

Sandpipers on twig-like legs, dance along the shore, always staying one step ahead of the wave, poking their beaks into the sand for some morsel. Three large birds (pelicans?) skim in silent procession just above the crest of the wave, disapearing in a silent dive then suddenly reappearing to skim the waves again. Crabs watch me warily, then scuttle into their holes. Each creature is consumed with its life, its survival. In each tiny brain, the spotlight is turned on it. Its life the most important existence in its universe. 

All over the world these motions are echoed - waves, birds, crabs - with a stunning sunrise as the backdrop. Usually no one watches; no one applauds. The astonishing colors exist without help from humans. The creatures follow their created instict with no orders, no recognition.

In the extravagance of the sunrise and the power of the waves, I feel tiny, miniscule, inconsequential. Just as when I was shopping and suddenly knew that each of the billions of people on earth had dreams, griefs, and plans just like me, I feel insignificant.

I believe God created this splendour, the amazing world of sunrises and sandpipers, pelicans and crabs. I believe He created the billions of people who walk this planet. The vastness of the universe and God's power overwhelms me. 

But I'm even more astounded when I read that God knows each sparrow and numbers my hair. (Matthew 10:29-31) He knew me before I was born and His thoughts of me are more than the number of the sand. (Psalm 139:14-18)  I'm only one of the billions, but I'm known.

I walk the shore, gazing at the glory of His creation, and want to weep at the glory of being a daughter of this God. 

***

Here are links to two old posts, both shared when I felt overwhelmed by current events in my own life and in the world. It is a little startling to see how much my children have grown in just a few years. It is also comforting to remember that God is still on His throne. In each post I shared a meaningful hymn.

November 2020 - Dear Lord and Father of Mankind

March 2022 - O Who Is Like Jehovah God

Sisters' Summer Reading Challenge Report

Charity and I both had a great reading season this summer. Here is our reports on the summer reading challenges.

This post contains affiliate links.

1. Choose a topic and read two books about it. 

Charity - Topic: The White House domestic staff

Upstairs at the White House by J.B. West

The Residence by Kate Anderson Brower

All the President’s Pastries by Roland Mesnier

I am intrigued by the behind the scenes of famous places and homes and especially serving staff throughout history. These three books cover the years from Franklin Rosevelt to Barak Obama and give a glimpse not only into how the executive mansion operates but also the personal lives of the first family and their staff. J.B. West recounts his experiences of working closely with the First Ladies during his years as assistant and head usher. He tells his stories with humor and a respect that makes the book worth reading. Kate Anderson Brower interviewed and read the memoirs of countless former staff and even members of the first family, to compile a glimpse into how such an important establishment operates. Mesnier tells about his own journey from rural France to pastry chef at the White House. His elaborate desserts were hard to imagine! 

Gina - Topic: Limitations

The Gift of Limitations by Sara Hagerty

Four Thousand Weeks: Time Mangement for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman

This book duet was a happy accident. Both Hagerty and Burkeman were confronted with their human limitations. Hagerty explores the Scripture and what our limitations can teach us about God. Burkeman looks at studies and research to show that our drive for productivity has not added meaning to our lives. Together the two books helped me understand the beauty that accepting our limited time can give to our lives.

2. Choose a location and read two books that are set in that location. 

Charity - Location: Africa

West with the Night by Beryl Markham

The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith

Beryl Markham writes with a beauty that had me savoring the words. Her father took her to Africa as a young girl where she grew up around tribal people, wild animals, and horses. Later she would become one of the fist female pilots in Africa. Her stories left me fascinated by the land, the air, and the people of Africa. The second book is a novel set in Africa. It is the first in a series of detective novels. I loved how the detective is the most unlikely woman to have the job and found the glimpse into life in Africa intriguing but also heart breaking. Recommended for the mature reader.

Gina - Location: England

The Eagle of the Ninth by Rosemary Sutcliff

A Morbid Taste for Bones by Ellis Peters

Amberwell by D.E. Stevenson

The Fight for English by David Crystal

My goal was to read books I already owned, and I had a number of books set in England on my unread shelf. Reading these four gave me an enjoyable scope of English history. The Eagle of the Ninth is a book of high adventure set in Roman England in the second century. Marcus sets off into the wilds of northern England to restore the lost eagle from his father's doomed legion. A Morbid Taste for Bones is the first in the Brother Cadfael detective series. Set in the 12th century, a Benedictine order wants to acquire relics for the honor of their abbey, but then there is a suspicious murder. Amberwell is listed as historical fiction, but Stevenson wrote it just after World War 2 so she knew the time well. The book follows the lives of the five Ayrton children as they grow up at Amberwell and how life scatters them. The Fight for English shares the history of teaching English grammar and spelling. To say that I loved the book probably tells you I'm some kind of nerd. Immersing myself into such different well-written books, set in widely different times, was quite rewarding. And now I have several authors to find more of their books.

3. Read a book about animals or a book that animals play a large role.

Neither Charity or I completed this challenge so are using this for our unfinished book challenge in the fall.

4. Read a book of the Bible and for each chapter, write down three words that describe the chapter.

Charity - Philippians

I loved this challenge but also found it to be somewhat difficult. But if I made a habit of studying this way, I would remember so much more about the main points of the chapters and even entire books.

Gina - Jeremiah

I was deep into the prophets this summer and this challenge helped me get more out of these chapters. I too want to practice this more as it helped me pay attention to my reading.

5. Write a note to someone and include a quote or verse. 

Charity - I was writing several little notes for a niece who moved far away. I rummaged through my journal for encouraging and thought provoking quotes. Sharing words from other authors is a way to pass on little treasures I have read along the way. 

Gina- I have the goal of sending one card of encouragement each month. This was the perfect time to record some of the verses I have found meaningful.

Books that we enjoyed this summer that didn't fit any of the challenges. 

Charity -

Agnes Grey by Anne Brontë

Garlic and Sapphires by Ruth Reichl

Create Anyway by Ashlee Gadd

You Are My Sunshine by Sean Dietrich 

Gina -

Where Is God When It Hurts by Philip Yancy

You Who? by Rachel Jankovic

Written by Bec Evans and Chris Smith

I'd love to hear what books you loved this summer.