Monday, June 25, 2018

Hope in Midst of Questions


"How's Ed?"

It is the question that begins most conversations these past months. 

I don't mind the question. Ed's health is on the forefront of my mind, and I don't mind talking about it.



But I'm not always sure how to answer the question. 

I usually say that Ed is feeling well. And it is true. He is working full time. He hasn't had any seizures since the one in mid-May. He doesn't have headaches. He passes his neurological exams with flying colors. He has no weakness on either side which would be common after brain tumor resections like his. He didn't feel well on the days he took his medication, but that was only four days a month and his blood-work has been great.


He has been more tired, but by now we are used to his lack of energy. He can still enjoy most activities such as picnics, short walks, and games with the children as long as they are not too physically taxing. 

Some days, when I think of the last year, it feels like a miracle to have him present and enjoying life with us. I don't take a day for granted.


"How's Ed?"

Often Ed's doctors will pull me aside and ask "How's Ed" and I know they are asking about his emotional health. And I'm glad to say, "He's doing well."

All through the past year, Ed has been my rock. If he were angry or depressed - it would have been far harder for me. For all of us. We have our moments of frustration and misunderstandings, but we have had so many good days.

Peace - I call that a miracle.


But when I am asked how Ed was doing, there was always the looming question, What was going on that we couldn't see? What was happening inside his skull? Would we gain a reprieve of a few months? Or was those cancer cells busily multiplying? 

With Ed feeling well, I didn't even want to know.


Last week Ed had an MRI which told us what we didn't want to know. In the last two months, the cancer has actively regrown.

Because of the location that some of the tumor was found, his doctors are concerned that his tumor is morphing into a different variant of glioblastoma.

So on this Wednesday, June 27, Ed plans to go back to the hospital for a biopsy of this new spot to help determine his next treatment plan. He will have a needle biopsy, which should be far less intrusive than his past brain surgeries. If all goes as expected, Ed will return home the next day, but I still hate for him to be wheeled into the operating room yet again.

Please pray that Ed's surgery will go well. Pray that we'll have peace for the next step in this journey. Pray that we can continue to hold onto hope - both in this world and the next.
According to my earnest expectation and my hope, that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but that with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether it be by life, or by death. - Philippians 1:20

53 comments :

  1. Praying for you, for Ed, for the biopsy, for your children and for the medical team. May God’s grace and peace continue to surround and uphold you.

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  2. I will pray for Ed's surgery, for peace for decisions, and that you may know God's peace and sense his presence in your lives.

    Marney

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  3. Praying for him to be made whole! 💖

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  4. Will be praying for him and your family.

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  5. Gina, our family have been praying for you and your family. We will continue you to do so. We have had several serious health issues in our family of 10 this last year. One truth that always sticks in my head is Isaiah 41:10. The Lord is so good and will give your family strength to get through the day. Blessings to you from Minnesota.

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  6. Praying for you all, and for Ed's surgery. May you feel God's love and presence as you journey through this next stage.

    xTania

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  7. Holding you all up to our Father...

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  8. Oh Gina, I'm sorry to hear that! I was looking at the pictures and thinking how good he looks; if only that were an indication of how his health really is! I will be praying for success in the upcoming surgery and continued peace in your hearts. God bless and keep you all!

    Mary Beth Martin

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  9. Gina, My thoughts and prayers to our Heavenly Father will be for a miraculous healing for Ed and for strength for you my dear sister in Christ. May his upcoming surgery be successful and safe and that God will fill you with His peace.
    Blessings,
    Betsy

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  10. Thank you for this update. I cannot imagine how difficult this is for you, for Ed, for your children, and everyone else who knows you and is involved in this. I will continue to pray for Ed's healing and for peace, contentment and acceptance of whatever comes in the future for all of you.

    The pictures are wonderful, by the way. You would never realize that Ed is ill looking at them.

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  11. Praying for you all, may you know Gods peace and His presence especially close to you.

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  12. LAMENTO ESCUCHAR ESTO GINA, ESTAMOS ORANDO DESDE AQUI EN BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA., PIDIENDO AL BUEN DIOS QUE HAGA UN MILAGRO EN LA SALUD DE TU ESPOSO, SABES QUE EL SEÑOR TIENE LA ULTIMA PALABRA., DEBEMOS ACEPTAR SU VOLUNTAD SEA LA QUE SEA, TAMBIEN NOSOTROS TRANSITAMOS UN TIEMPO DE TRISTEZA Y DOLOR AL PERDER A NUESTRA PEQUEÑA NIETA, HACE 6 MESES YA QUE PARTIO Y ES DIFICIL A VECES NO ESTAR TRISTE O SENTIRNOS MAL, PERO SABEMOS QUE ELLA ESTA EN EL REINO DE DIOS, PORQUE JESUS DIJO: DEJAD A LOS NIÑOS VENID A MI, PORQUE DE ELLOS ES EL REINO. DECEO PROFUNDAMENTE QUE DIOS HAGA EL MILAGRO EN ED, EL SEÑOR TIENE LA ULTIMA PALABRA. QUE DIOS TE BENDIGA RICAMENTE.

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  13. Praying for all of you! Praying that Ed's biopsy will give the surgeons the new information they need to keep one step ahead of the cancer & destroy it. Praying for peace & comfort from our Almighty Father for your whole family. God bless you all!

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  14. I will pray for Ed and all of you. Though I have never met you or talked on here much, you all are on my mind often.

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  15. Praying, dear sister, for all of you! God bless

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  16. Forgive me if it's been mentioned but I haven't been able to visit for a while and don't know if you're aware. I just saw a news article about Duke University using a polio vaccine on brain tumors with some success.

    Has that been considered for Ed?
    Forgive me if it's been mentioned but I haven't been able to visit for a while and don't know if you're aware. I just saw a news article about Duke University using a polio vaccine on brain tumors with some success.

    Has that been considered for Ed?

    Whatever is needed, I pray that it's made available for you!

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  17. Praying for all of you. I check on you often and keep you in my prayers.

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  18. Thank you for sharing so that we can be praying tomorrow ("my peace I give unto you") - with love in Christ - Suz

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  19. What an amazing testimony of Ed's lack of anger toward the Lord. He has truly allowed the Lord to give him the appropriate perspective. I know the Lord wants that type of yielding in all our lives. How I pray for you, Gina, as you put one foot in front of the other. God has been gracious to allow Ed to continue to feel so well and I know you are thrilled with every moment you have with him.
    Praying for this upcoming biopsy tomorrow. We believe, help Thou our unbelief as we face the hard things in our lives, Father.

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  20. Praying that God will develop a treatment just for Ed!

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  21. I was praying for Ed just this morning, Gina. Thank you for the update. Big hugs!

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  22. I think of you often! May God walk through those hospital doors with you. You both will definitely be in my prayers.

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  23. What can I say when words are so weak? I care, and will pray.

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  24. I was 9 years old when my dad was first diagnosed with a stage 4 brain tumor, so hearing your story has YOUR children especially heavy on my heart. I don't know you personally but would you reply with their names so I can pray for each one by name? I would love to do that!!! I will be praying every hour ON THE HOUR tomorrow for ALL of you!!

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    1. Oh, I am so sorry for anyone who has to experience this - especially a child. Our children are Cheyenne, Trent, Slade, Brooke, Paige, and Haven. Thanks for your prayers.
      Gina

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  25. Sometimes, there aren't words to express...but please know that I continue to pray.

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  26. I do pray for you and your family.

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  27. God bless you, Gina. Our prayers are with your family.

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  28. Prayers for complete healing for Ed and for strength and courage for you all. Blessings to you.

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  29. Praying for a miracle that this tumor will disappear and that your happy family life will continue.

    Lorraine

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  30. Praying for you all and for the results of this test. I think of you often and pray for you all when I do. Sending love.
    Wendy

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  31. thewarmfireplaceJune 27, 2018 at 3:14 AM

    praying for Ed and all of you.
    Sue x

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  32. I am praying for you this morning. God bless you all and may you find strength and comfort in Him today. Isaiah 41:10

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  33. I am so sorry for this news. I "enjoyed" ? (Not that I'm wishing anyone had to be there) meeting you all in the courtyard awhile ago. But so sorry that his cancer is regrowing, I pray for God to be close today, to guide the doctors' hands, and to give peace to all of you. I pray for healing within His will, and for results to be good.

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  34. I am so very sorry. My prayers are with Ed. I will also pray God’s peace and protection for you and the children. Thank you for the update.

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  35. Praying for you today! May you continue to experience Peace in the midst of this trial!

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  36. You and Ed have been in my thoughts and prayers. You and he are under a lot of stress and with six kiddos even more.I will pray for Ed and that the results of the biopsy will provide a new plan of treatment. All my love to you and your family.

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  37. Beautiful family. Praying for continued peace and comfort for you and your family. Hopefully the doctors are able to get the answers they need with the biopsy.

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  38. Praying for you all to be surrounded with Love, Hope and Healing.

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  39. I started following your blog about half a year ago. We have six children about the same age as yours. I am blessed by the strength and peace God gives you in the midst of this storm. Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the Lord for ever: for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength: Isaiah 26:3-4
    Although we don't know you personally, we as a family pray for you often. Praying all goes well today.
    Mrs. Paul :)

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  40. I am continuing to pray that if it is God's will, Ed will experience a miracle. And in the midst of whatever comes, I pray that your whole family will experience the comfort and presence of Christ.

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  41. Praying for you and your precious family.

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  42. sending prayers healing and peace

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  43. Dear Gina, thank you for saying your kids names. How nice to be able to pray for them by name. Thinking of all of you often and also praying to our great healer for Ed's complete healing.

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  44. Praying for and thinking of you! This is the evening of June 27...Hope your day hasn't been too hard. Love and prayers

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  45. I have enjoyed your gentle words and good humor for so many years, and am so inspired by your strength and focus in the hardest of times. Sending prayers for an easy surgery, and for peace and sweetness in all the in-between moments for your whole family.

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  46. Praying for you all. Maybe the Lord give you strength.

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  47. I just saw this. - - I ask you Precious Lord Jesus that you would continue to be with Ed and his family, give him a good recovery from the procedure. Thank you for the gift of peace you have given to his family. May you help them. They love you, Lord Jesus. They serve you and know that all things work together for the good to those who love You. Dear family, I pray the Lord gives you whatever you have need of and I pray for complete healing. I have seen God do miracles personally. I pray whatever happens, you all will continue to serve our great God. I'm so thankful He's been your help and that Ed has been doing so good, symptomatically. Chris W.

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  48. I hope it goes through I saw this the other night on the news. Praying for Ed and your family.

    http://www.foxnews.com/health/2018/06/18/dad-battling-brain-cancer-shows-no-sign-tumor-regrowth-after-clinical-trial.html

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  49. Gina, your attitude of hope and acceptance is a beautiful testimony for our Lord Jesus Christ. I will be praying for you and Ed and the children.

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