Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Before I Ask

Yesterday morning we fought rush hour traffic, wound our way into the bowels of a parking garage, then tackled the labyrinth of halls of a huge hospital. The day was filled with of tests and consultations with doctors and medical staff. Our brains were spinning as we tried to comprehend the  information shoveled at us. One doctor said that we were far better than average at asking good questions - which I took as a compliment.

It was only after we arrived home that I realized it had been a day without tears. I wouldn't begin to call it fun, but Ed and I had shared laughter and lots of conversation through those hours. I had looked through Ed's MRI scans, viewing the monster that is trying to kill Ed without falling apart. I had read through material, formulated questions, and taken notes without dissolving.

I had never thought to pray for emotional stability. But I am so grateful God gave it yesterday. In the past, when tears loom, my brain turns to mush. I would have never been able to participate in the conversations yesterday without God's strength.

Your assurance of prayers has been so encouraging this past week. Yesterday we assured the social worker that we have a huge support system. She was asking about things like finances, babysitting, and practical needs. But I thought of all of you, many who we have never met, who are holding up our hands, reminding us that we are not alone, and bringing our needs to the One who can walk with us down hospital halls, sit next to us at midnight, and pour out peace in the middle of a nightmare.

Thank you.

28 comments :

  1. I am praying for you. Everytime I see your email come in, I stop what I am doing to check on you and your family! Hope you got good news yesterday

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  2. Your tender post reminded me: Strengthen the hands that are slack; make firm the tottering knees! Say to the anxious of heart; “Be strong, fear not; Behold your G-d!”.
    I am so glad you can feel the hearts that are loving and supporting you in thought and earnest prayer.

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  3. Gina, I don't comment often, but I just want you to know I'm still praying for Ed's health and for you to have the strength and clarity you need in helping your sweet husband.

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  4. I am still hoping and praying for Ed's recovery and for all of your precious family.
    Linda

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  5. Your darling husband Ed is in my thoughts and prayers each day....and you know - I have been asking God to give you the strength to face this - I am happy God gave you emotional strength....

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  6. You have such a way of pouring out your thoughts and heart in words.....thank you for being open and allowing us to actively know how to pray for you and Ed......we continue to pray for healing, wisdom and peace. Love and hugs!

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  7. I also do not comment very often, but yours and Ed‘s names are on the top of my prayer list that I pray for every single day. Without fail. May the God of love continue to give you comfort and His peace as you walk through these days of uncertainty.
    Blessings always, Betsy

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  8. Dearest Gina, I'm praying for you all. I'm reminded of the hymn "Does Jesus Care?" which I'm sure you are familiar with. Just think about the words and believe that "Yes He Cares!"

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  9. Isn't it true that God always gives strength and grace that is sufficient for the moment .....never early and never late - but always exactly what we need! May He continue to pour out that grace upon you.

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  10. Praying. The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and I pray His body of believers will hold you and your family close.

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  11. Gina, You Ed and your whole family are in my prayer list everyday. I pray for peace, for strength, and wisdom for all the decisions you have to make in the near future. I know what you are going through having the same type of struggle in 2013. May you find peace in the decisions you and Ed make for your family and I pray everyone around you lifts you up and abides by your decision. Love you very much.

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  12. Gina, that was so lovely to read. We will continue to pray for your Ed and you and the whole family.

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  13. "Before I ask" - what a testimony. ya those gloomy winding hospital corridors are no joke; I'll have to pray more when I'm in them.
    Always love your writing, always

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  14. God is good, giving you peace and grace for the moment. Your post took me back almost 8 years when our baby girl was in the hospital. I never dreamed that we could have peace even when it felt like our hearts lay shattered all over the floor.

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  15. In the sweet Holy name of Jesus I pray continued strength comfort and wisdom for you, Ed and the colder children. Thank You Lord that you are right there with them during this storm. We thank you for their witness that testifies of Your Grace and Mercy. We thank You for wonderful evidence of Your presence with them. We pray bless them and keep them, Lord. We humbly ask that you heal Ed completely, We trust that Your will, will be done, and understand that Your ways are not our ways. Thank You Lord that you have a plan for this family, for Good. We pray that You continue to be exalted through all of this, and You personally lead them and direct their path. Thank You Lord, that You are their constant companion. Bless Your Holy name. Amen

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  16. Dear Gina, I have been praying for Ed, you, and your family for God to give you strength, courage, and guidance. Hugs, Dana

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  17. Glad you're holding to His unchanging Hand.....

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  18. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I pray for you and your family. God hears all prayers and is with us always.

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  19. Sometimes it is hard to say the right words when one is going through trials. I go back to 2002 when my mother lost her battle with breast cancer. .just knowing we had prayerful support was so great! I feel that your testimony has given we,your readers, the drive to keep praying for you.You have blessed me more than you may know. Thank you and God bless you!

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  20. I thought of us all praying for you around the world, in different time zones, you are all truly surrounded by prayer all day and night, God bless you.
    Love Sue (UK) X

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  21. Gina
    I'm so glad you decided to share Ed's journey with us and your view on how you feel about it and allowing us to try and help you through it with our words. I care about you deeply friend. And myself and my husband pray for you daily and I know God will be with you through the trials the bad days, the good, days, the days when you think you just can't handle another thing..you will never be alone just hold on to your strong faith. remember you have people who love and care about you and you don't have to go through this emotionally alone. god bless you. I'm always here for you

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  22. Dear Gina,

    Praying for you all as you walk this road, never forget God's watching over you all.

    Blessings to you all in this season.
    shelley p
    from over the pond

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  23. Dear Gina, These days the Lord has put in my heart to pray for you. Despite the fact that we don't know each other, I know that in my own life the Lord has answered prayers because of people praying for me even if I don't know them. I'm praying for your family all the way from ecuador.
    Ana

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  24. Just wanted to affirm your choices in how you blog - I pray more because of your website than I do any other.

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  25. Dear Gina, again thank you for taking time to update. I don't comment often, mainly because english is not my first language. I have some health problems also and I think of this hymn:

    "All the way my Savior leads me,
    What have I to ask beside?
    Can I doubt His tender mercy,
    Who through life has been my Guide?
    Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort,
    Here by faith in Him to dwell!
    For I know, whate’er befall me,
    Jesus doeth all things well;
    For I know, whate’er befall me,
    Jesus doeth all things well.
    All the way my Savior leads me,
    Cheers each winding path I tread,
    Gives me grace for every trial,
    Feeds me with the living Bread.
    Though my weary steps may falter
    And my soul athirst may be,
    Gushing from the Rock before me,
    Lo! A spring of joy I see;
    Gushing from the Rock before me,
    Lo! A spring of joy I see.
    All the way my Savior leads me,
    Oh, the fullness of His love!
    Perfect rest to me is promised
    In my Father’s house above.
    When my spirit, clothed immortal,
    Wings its flight to realms of day
    This my song through endless ages:
    Jesus led me all the way;
    This my song through endless ages:
    Jesus led me all the way."

    Blessings to you all from Belgium

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  26. Thank you for this reminder that we serve a God Who goes with us and before us................and is able to lift us up emotionally............as we walk through this life. Yes ma'am, we are praying for you all daily!

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  27. Continuing to life you, Ed, and your family up to our Heavenly Father, Gina! We are SO sorry you are walking through this hard, and praying God will continue to give you grace & peace for each step! We love you!!! ~Eunice

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  28. I have never met you or your family, but I hold you close in prayer. My mother had glioblastoma 12 years ago. The journey is rough, but ourGod never leaves us lacking!

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