Lead Us, O Father (With Wedding Photos!)

I'd apologize for taking such a long blogging break, but I know you all have plenty to do and read without my words. 

I haven't known how to distill the events of this summer into words. These weeks have contained enough heights and lows to give emotional whiplash. I can honestly say that it has been good, which I hope means that I've been carried by grace, not that I'm in denial or too busy to process. 

Here is an overview of June and July.

The summer began with attending a writers' conference in Virginia the first week of June. It had been canceled for two years and when I walked in the building, I could feel the excitement in the room. I love connecting with old friends and new who love words, and I wanted to bask in the conversations and energy of the conference.

But it also ranks up as one of the most terrifying public speaking experiences of my life. The fact that I had been pumped up and prepared two years ago, in March 2020, then the event was canceled thanks to a virus, and then canceled again in 2021, probably meant that I had far too much anticipation built up. But I survived without fainting.

In the month of June, we hosted another TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages) class. I love hanging out with passionate youth and I enjoy cooking food for groups, so this was simply fun. So many people offered to help with food and lodging, and it is great to see a community work together to host this event. 

If you or someone you know has an interest in teaching English, contact me for more information for next June's class. The teacher is excellent (and so is the food), and maybe some year I'll pretend to be a nineteen and participate in the class.

In June, Ed's neice ended her years of suffering poor health. Her sister had died soon after Ed three years ago; both had a rare auto-immune disorder. I left my children behind and traveled to North Carolina for the funeral with another van load so had time to think and process grief. To see her three-year-old watch the filling of her mother's grave and walk down the row of young gravestones was heart breaking. So much grief. 

The week after the funeral, Ed's mom's house was sold. It has been hard to watch her mental decline the past few years and last winter the decision was made that she could no longer live alone. She seems happy in her new quarters and I know she would never move back home, but still the sale of her house and the dispersal of her belongings feels so permanent. 

I took my girls over to her house to play with her toys and feed the fish one last time. I was surprised that it felt so hard to me to see my mother-in-law move. Maybe because that house held the memories of Ed and I dating, and with Ed gone, I want to hold on to every shred of memory. But time moves on and there is no holding on to the past, and everyone in the family is relieved that the big job of emptying her house is now over.

But on top and over all the other events of June was preparing for my youngest sister Charity's wedding. Family weddings are such fun and Charity's was extra special. Charity had only been three when I married, but the past couple years we have built a friendship that we never really had before. When my other sisters married, I was deep into babies, but this time I hoped to actually be present and helpful. 

Weddings are a lot of work, especially if the family is making the food, and especially when an outdoor wedding is planned. But we had so many offers to help, and it was such fun to see the details come together. 

All week the forecast said it would rain on Saturday. They had a tent for the reception, but the ceremony was planned to be held up on the hill in the hayfield. By Friday, the threat of rain was lessening, and the decision was made to try to hold the wedding on the hill. 

The wedding day dawned bright and hot. Not a cloud was in sight which meant we cooked in the sun, but at least it didn't rain. The setting was beautiful. 

But weddings are not really about the beauty or the setting or the decorations or the food. That may be the things we talk about after a wedding, but the real joy is seeing two people who love the Lord and are serious about serving Him, join their lives. 

The nine of us siblings

As the oldest in my family, I have worried about my younger siblings. What if they make poor choices? What if they bring someone awful into the family?

But I'm delighted to have Carson as a brother-in-law. I knew his parents when they were dating and have always thought highly of them. I've seen Carson grow into a man of high conviction. I'm so glad that Charity has a husband like him. 

Another blessing was that my dad, who continues treatment for his colon cancer, was feeling well at the wedding. He was able to postpone his next surgery until the week after the wedding. 

After June, July couldn't possibly feel as busy. There is work in my neglected garden and afternoons spent at the pool with friends. It has contained scary discussions on purchasing cars for my teenage drivers and the sober celebration of what would have been our twentieth wedding anniversary. Life is rich and full and terrifying and rewarding and wistful and delightful.

The hymn I have propped on my dresser this month is "Lead Us, O Father." Peace. Truth. Righteousnss. Rest. This is my prayer - and maybe yours too.

Lead Us, O Father, In the Paths of Peace

by William H. Burleigh

Lead us, O Father, in the paths of peace;

Without Thy guiding hand we go astray,

And doubts appall, and sorrows still increase:

Lead us thru Christ the true and living way.

Lead us, O Father, in the paths of truth;

Unhelped by Thee, in error's maze we grope,

While passion stains, and folly dims our youth,

And age comes on, uncheered by faith and hope.

Lead us, O Father, in the paths of right;

Blindly we stumble when we walk alone,

Involved in shadows of a darksome night,

Only with Thee we journey safely on.

Lead us, O Father, to Thy heavenly rest,

However rough and steep the path may be,

Thru joy or sorrow, as Thou deemest best,

Until our lives are perfected in Thee.

June Dew

In 2009, I watched my husband bury his father;

his strong, active body had been

no match 

against the burst blood vessel in his brain.

A year and a half later, on Father's Day,

I paged through a hymnal

with Ed's neice and nephew

choosing songs for their daddy's funeral.

Three years ago,

my three-year-old stood on tiptoe

to see into her daddy's casket,

a body consumed

by a monster in his brain.

Three months later,

a dad shoveled dirt onto the grave

of his eighteen-year-old daughter, Ed's niece.

Last week that same dad

buried another daughter,

while her three-year-old daughter watched.

Ed's family has faced too much loss.

Small children will never know

their daddy, their mother, their grandpa, their aunt.

Young lives

vanished

before the day was half spent.

We've needed Ed's dad.

He would have been our anchor, 

yet his huge soft heart would have volunteered

to go first.

I can't comprehend heaven. 

Does Dad knows that one by one

his family is joining him 

too early, too abrupt, too premature?

But maybe, 

from his height

above the mist and mountain craigs,

the view looks different.

 "We have heard with our ears, O God, our fathers have told us, what work Thou didst in their days, in the times of old." Psalms 44:1

Photos thanks to the photographers who share their work at pixaby.com.

Motherhood Magazine Issue 2

Last fall I shared about a new magazine that I was helping Kerra Troyer to edit. Motherhood magazine is a full-color magazine designed to give encouragement to mothers. It is a non-subscription magazine which is sold as individual issues. 

We are now introducing Issue 2 of Motherhood!

We chose the theme of The Cross for the second issue. We all know that motherhood can mean laying down ourselves and our desire for a full night of sleep, and we wanted to look at how the Cross of Christ pours out His strength to us as mothers. Over twenty mothers share their stories of surrender and God's grace in these pages. 

Compared to the first issue, the second issue has a few more pages and quite a few more words including a few longer articles. I share an article on the topic of identity and how we can find a stable identity in the changing seasons of motherhood. Other women share their journey of laying down their hobbies, desires, even their dreams for motherhood itself. Also included are some turtorials and practical articles such as one with ideas for children helping with chores.

The second issue has been delayed because of the shortage of paper, but the shipping date is set for next week and Kerra is now taking preorders. Each issue is $12 plus shipping. If you place a bulk order or order issue 1 and 2 together, the price is reduced. See the Motherhood magazine website for more information. 

If you live near me and would like a copy of Motherhood, message me and I'll combine your order with mine so you can get the bulk rate. 

Visit Motherhoodmagazine.org for more information. You can also sign up for updates so that you will hear about future magazines.

If you prefer to place an order by email, contact Kerra at stan.kerra2012 @gmail.com .

Sisters' Spring Reading Challenge

 Here is the report of our spring reading. Both of us were exceptionally busy, but that doesn't mean we couldn't find time to read!

This post contains affiliate links.

Sisters' Spring Reading Challenge

1. Read a classic you think you should have read. 

Charity- North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell

This book has been on my TBR list for a while and I was delighted for an excuse to read it. The reader is transported to a factory town in England during the 1800s. In the story, Gaskell explores the conflict that often occurred between mill owners and their employees. Caught in the middle is Margaret Hale, a young woman that has been transplated from a totally different lifestyle. I appreciated learning about another place, time period, and social struggle. The plot, though sad, is also beautiful and sweetened with just enough hope.

Gina - The Enchanted April - Elizabeth Von Arnim - I tried to read this book a few years ago but quit because I didn't like the negative view of marriage that the book began with. But I tried again and found I had quit too soon. Four women who are disastified about their lives (including their husbands) rent a castle in Italy for a month. The book maybe ends a little too glibly, but I loved the sweetness that each woman found in their relationships by the end of the book. I listened to The Literary Life podcast discussion of The Enchanted April which brought out insights I would have never seen on my own.

2. Read a verse novel or a book of free verse poetry. 

Charity - A Symphony in Sand by Calvin Miller

I don’t think I can even describe this free verse novel. The words were beautiful and I wanted to soak up the delight of it. It is an allegorical poem about a young couple whose plans to marry are shaken by a greater Will. I felt as though I was reading the story of Mary and Joeseph and their potential turmoil from another vantage point. Maybe someday I will enjoy more of Miller’s Symphony series.

Gina - The Finale by Calvin Miller - This is the third book in Miller's Singer trilogy. This one is based on end times in Revelation. I like how Miller makes me think of Bible passages in new ways, but this is probably my least favorite of his books that I've read. It is just hard to beat A Symphony in Sand.

3. Ask a friend to pick a book for you--and read it.

Charity - Yours Cheerfully by A.J. Pearce

This sequel to Dear Mrs Bird was pure joy to my heart. After Pearce left me in the lurch after her first book, I was excited  to know what the future was for our heroine. If you enjoy WW2 novels you will definitely need to add these to your list and find time for the charm, tears, and laughter that the author gifts you. My favorite part is that I can recommend it as a very clean novel! 

Gina -The Sound of the Page by Ben Yagoda 

I was studying writing style for a workshop and a friend gave me this book. Yadoda interviewed numerous authors and asked them about writing style. I took pages of notes and recommend it to any reader who wishes to learn more about writing style.

4. Read a book that has siblings as the main characters. 

Charity- My book for this category was disappointing. As I read it I was amazed by the skill of the author and the beautiful way he wove words together and created his plot. But the excessive profanity and a few scenes ruined it. 

Gina - A Place to Hang the Moon by Kate Albus 

This is sweet middle-grade story of three orphans who leave London during the bombing of World War 2 and hope to find their forever home in the country. Maybe everything worked out a little too much like a fairy tale, but I loved the role that books and the library play in the story. Perfect to read aloud to your children.

5. Read a book about a less famous historical event.

Charity - Peony by Pearl S. Buck

I found this book on my pile of unread books and was overjoyed that it was about a time and place in history that I knew nothing. Based in China during the 1850s, I never realized that Jews had emigrated to China to find a better life. The book explores the struggle to maintain their religion and traditions while living in a different culture. Through the eyes of a young Chinese bondmaid in a Jewish family, Buck shows how a people became one with the culture around them until nothing was left of their heritage. 

Gina - The Heart Mender by Andy Andrews

I never knew that German U-boats stalked American ships in the Gulf of Mexico, within sight of the shore. The author found Nazi artifacts buried in his backyard which sent him on history research journey. He wrote this novel based on the amazing story he uncovered. A little preachy at spots, but kept me gripped to the end. 

6. Read a book that has an elderly person a main character.

Charity - Martin Chuzzlewit by Charles Dickens

Any excuse to read another Dickens will always be accepted. This particular book is unique in that we get a glimpse of the United States through the eyes of Dickens. Though much of the criticism is lost on me since I didn't live in that time, it was still fun to read what he had to say. Though hard to get into at first, this novel of family conflict, greed, and pride will having you turning pages if you only give it a chance. And never be sure that you know the ending! 

Gina - The Last Book Shop in London by Madeline Martin

I didn't plan to get on a World War 2 binge this spring, but this was the third, and maybe my favorite set during this time in history. A young woman from the country finds a job in London working for a grumpy old book seller right before the start of the Blitz. Well researched and such a fun celbration of the power of books. 

7. Read from a book before picking up your phone in the morning.

Charity - My normal morning routine is to turn off my alarm, dress, and leave my phone in my room until after breakfast, devotions, and a few moments with a book. I strongly recommend keeping your phone from taking precious reading time! 

Gina - I typically don't pick up my phone until after I've read my Bible in the morning, but I rarely read other books in the morning. But I have the habit every night of plugging my phone in the dining room, then doing my bedtime routine (which includes reading!) without any phone distraction. If you have trouble finding time to read, try losing your phone every day for an hour or two.

8. Copy a poem (or write one) and hang it where you will see it.

Charity - I found one of my brother’s poems and enjoyed reading it many times around Easter. Maybe I found even more joy in it because I knew whose words they were. I can give him much credit for helping me learn to appreciate poetry.

Gina- I've shared a few weeks ago how I copied out several prayer hymns and propped them where I could see them. I think this is a practice I'll continue.

We'd love to hear what you read this spring!

Sisters' Summer Reading Challenge

 A new season means a new reading challenge! We are keeping this list a bit lighter and fun for summer. 

This post contains affiliate links at no extra cost to you.

1. Reread a classic you enjoyed as a teen. 

Examples: 

    Little Women by Lousia May Alcott

    The Secret Garden by Francese Burnett

    Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery

    Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain

2. Read a portion of a book of essays or poetry.

Examples: 

    Essays by E.B. White or Dorcas Smucker

    Endless Feasts compiled from Gourmet magazine

    Keep a Quiet Heart by Elisabeth Elliot

    Poetry by Malcolm Guite

    Habitation of Wonder by Abigail Carroll

3. Read a book with a beautiful cover. 

This may be an old book, a new modern design, or whatever says beauty to you.

4. Read a book by an author you've enjoyed.

This can be any genre and any category.

5. Read a book about someone on a journey.

This could be a literal physical journey or a spiritual journey. 

Examples: 

    Around the World in Eighty Days by Jules Verne

    Three Weeks With my Brother by Nicholas Sparks and Micah Sparks

    Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus by Nabeel Qureshi

6. Read a love story (fiction or nonficiton). 

Charity's wedding planned for this summer is putting love on our minds! 

Examples:

    The Blue Castle by L.M. Montgomery

    Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

    Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot

7. Choose a Psalm and read it every day for a month (or as often as possible.) 

8. Take a photo of a book you are reading.

We will be back next week with a report on our reading this spring.

Legacy

Three years is a short time. 

Three years is a long time.

It is long enough that my six-year-old doesn't remember her daddy.

It is long enough that Ed's voice is dim in my own memory. 

May has been so crazy busy that I didn't spend a lot of time contemplating the last three years, but memories drizzle in.

I've been reading The Lazy Genius Kitchen by Kendra Adachi which is more of a figure-out-your priorities book than a cookbook. She constantly asks, "What matters most?" Do I value ease, or simplicity, or low cost, or variety?

It wasn't a very big jump from thinking "what matters most?" in my kitchen and menus to life and relationships and future plans. 

And it is made me think back to past decisions, specifically Ed's choices. 

Ed wasn't perfect, though it is easy to remember only the best. But when I think about Ed and how he faced cancer and death, there is one song that comes immediately to mind. 

Those of you that have read here for a while know that Ed enjoyed hymns and I've shared quite a few with you. 

On Zion's Glorious Summit

It Is Well

 

You can find all the posts where I shared hymns here.

But in the last sermon he preached, he shared the words to the praise song, "Blessed Be Your Name."

The words were ones that he lived, but I've struggled to sing these words from the heart. Three years later, I'm not sure I'm any closer to singing some of the verses. As the song states, it is a heart choice. This song is based on  Job 1:21  and though I'm not in the category of Job's wife, who suggested Job curse God and die, I don't always have Job's response. This is a song that requires hands open and raised. 

And possibly tears.

A Mother's Prayer

I love when several things come together, building upon each other. 

It started when a friend, a widow who lives alone, told me that she sings and plays hymns as worship to God. Somehow I had never thought of keeping a hymnal with my Bible. 

Then another friend told me that she wrote out hymns by hand, and hung them where she could see and reread them. 

Then another friend mentioned that she uses hymns as prayers. My church tradition doesn't include scripted prayers, but we sign many hymns that are prayers.

So I put these three suggestions together and flipped through a hymnal, finding prayers of worship, prayers for others, and prayers for myself. I copied several out and propped one by my mirror. 

The first hymn I chose was one that I've considered my "mom prayer." These words help refocus my mind on days that parenting feels too big. I thought I'd share it with you on Mother's Day. Whether you are a mother or not, we all need to be filled with God's love before we can love others.

Lord, Speak to Me

by Frances R. Havergal

Lord, speak to me, that I may speak,

In living echoes of Thy tone:

As Thou hast sought, so let me seek,

Thy erring children lost and lone.

O lead me, Lord, that I may lead

The wande'ring and the wav'ring feet;

O feed me, Lord, that I may feed

Thy hungering ones with manna sweet.

O fill me with Thy fullness, Lord,

Until my very heart o'erflow

In kindling thought and glowing word,

Thy love to tell, Thy praise to show.

O use me, Lord, use even me,

Just as Thou wilt, and when, and where;

Until Thy blessed face I see,

Thy rest, They joy, They glory share.

Amen.