Book Review: Peanut Butter and Dragon Wings

I knew I was in trouble when I read the introduction to Peanut Butter and Dragon Wings. Shari Zook says, "This is not a book about self-care. This is a book about receiving the care that surrounds you."

I don't do well in accepting help. (That might be an understatement.) I remember one morning many years ago when my children were all babies, and I woke up with a painfully stiff neck. I was barely able to get out of bed, but I hobbled through the motions of caring for my family. Ed looked at me before he left for work and said, "Are you going to call your mom and ask for help or do I have to?" By this time, he knew how stubborn I was about asking for help.

In the last four years, I've been forced to accept help. I've opened checks that paid for our medical bills, served casseroles made by other hands, and watched others cut firewood, do home repairs, and care for Ed. I'm incapable of providing for my children alone, and I know it. I'm grateful for all the ways others have held up our family.

But I'm still slow to admit my emotional needs, and if you ask me how I'm doing, my default will be "I'm fine." Last year  I read a book that made me realize how deeply my identity was founded on feeling capable, efficient, and productive. I'm most comfortable giving and serving. I don't want to look needy and helpless and am willing to fake to the point of deception to hide my needs. 

For months I had Colossians 4:19 hanging in my kitchen. "But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." I've seen God meet my needs, and I'm grateful for the abundance of His riches. But what if I'm missing part of the glory by shutting myself from the people of God? 

So that is the background in which I opened up Peanut Butter and Dragon Wings by Shari Zook and read of her desperation when being capable and efficient didn't work anymore. She faced challenges in parenting, ministry, and marriage and watched God reach out to her through other people.

Shari writes beautifully and has the ability to laugh at herself. But she doesn't shy away from looking straight at the reader and asking the hard questions. She tells of her discovery of her own failures and losses and practical ways to reach out for the grace of Jesus through the ministry of others.

If you live locally, I'd love to say that you can borrow my copy of Peanut Butter and Dragon Wings, but I think I need to reread it first. One of my friends asked if I was interested in reading through it slowly, maybe two chapters a week, and discussing the end-of-the-chapter questions together. That kind of vulnerability scares me silly, but Shari has modeled it and showed us how beautiful honesty can be. 

If you want your own copy of Peanut Butter and Dragon Wings - and you do if you are a mom of a challenging child, or are a foster mom, or have faced depression, or avoid asking for help until you are dying, or are a pastor's wife (and that pastor disappoints you), or want to find a mentor. You can find your own copy at Amazon (affiliate link) or the publisher Herald Press. You can also get a sample of Shari's writings at her blog Confessions of a Woman Learning to Live.

Shari gave me a copy of her book as a friend, but didn't require a review in return. All opinions in this review are my own.