Goals and Routines: What DIDN'T Work for Linette

Today is the last day of January and the final installment in the series on goals and routines. Thanks to each of the ladies for sharing.

When Linette announced in her Christmas letter that she was making the goal of cutting out all extras in 2020, I applauded her transparency and asked if she'd share about it on Home Joys.

I am a goal-oriented person. I love lists and crossing things off. Sometimes I add things to my lists that I’ve already done just for the thrill of making a line through it.

I am a visionary person. Life will never be long enough for me to meet all the goals that I want to achieve. There is always one more place I’d love to visit, one more book to read, one more craft or sewing project I’d like to finish, or one more new recipe to try.

I also have entrepreneur tendencies. My brain has dreamed up multiple projects. My love of learning has sent me spiraling in many diverse directions. I have tried to conjure the energy, time, and resources of any interested persons (and some not-so-interested, particularly children) to pull off many strategies and schemes.

But this year I am resolved to change my goals and routines. As much as I love gardening and flowers and baking and crafting and everything else in between, I am determined to scale way back on all those things that don’t have to be done. 

These changes are backed by a goal to focus on rest and relationships. What is the most important anyway?

I had a conversation with an older woman who spoke wisdom to my heart. At that moment, I was overwhelmed with the responsibilities that had been placed on my shoulders. She simply suggested that maybe God didn’t intend for me to do all the things that I thought needed done and that, most importantly, it was essential to recognize and prioritize the work that God had specifically given to me. Her words leaked into my heart in ways beyond the situation we were talking about and gave me courage to lay down the non-essentials…at least for a season of time.

Honesty has called me to realize that busyness has been a hindrance in my life. I have been so busy with trying to manage and achieve all my goals, projects, and activities that other areas of my life were suffering. I am hoping that with the cutting out of extra-curricular things I will have more time and energy for occasions like tea parties with my three-year-old, taking a walk out the back lane, or intentionally making memories with a friend.

Most of all, I regret the moments I’ve lost with God. My goal this year is to rest in the Lord and renew my relationship with Him and others. This may mean that I need to get to bed in good time so that I can get up to pray before my children awake. It might take the giving up of a project that I wanted to finish. It could be making time to do things that nurture and revive my soul. 

At times it is going to take a decisive choice. But at the end of my life I want to be able to say like Jesus in John 17:4. “I have glorified thee on the earth: I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do.”

- Linette Horst - Maryland

Goals and Routines: What Works for Flo

Flo shares a practical way that she balances all her mom tasks.

What I Can Do Well

If you are a mom with all young children, you know how overwhelming all the responsibilities resting on you can feel.

Chief cook and pastry chef

Nurse, pharmacist, and medical adviser

Flowerbed and garden planter, water and fertilizer supervisor

Birthday rememberer (my friends, and all the children’s friends)

Executive housekeeping officer

Mail and bookkeeping master

The above items list only physical obligations, not even touching the abstract responsibilities that come with the role of wife and mom: teacher, nurturer, friend, neighbor, and more. How can I meet the demands required for this life I’m blessed to live?

I run from defrosting the freezer—frost up to here!—to creating a bank deposit to emptying my son’s too-full clothes drawer, berating myself for not taking the outgrown clothes to the attic two months ago. Taking clothes to the attic makes me cross, because I see all the coats, clothes, and camping gear swirled together. Should I tackle the mess in the attic for a few minutes since I’m up here anyway? Or ignore the wreck and continue deep cleaning the boys’ room?

I hate working as hard as possible and still feeling perpetually behind. Attempting varied tasks in as many directions leaves me feeling scattered and exhausted, not to mention inefficient and unproductive.

I’m not a good mom when I feel too busy to enjoy the children. And this is the life I dreamed of: taking care of little people and raising them with the man I love. If I don’t enjoy the moment now, when will I? Certainly not when the children are grown and gone, no longer requesting to be read The Tale of Peter Rabbit.

And then I found this advice, words that gave me permission to say no to necessary work without guilt: Of all the work you are responsible for, do well at one thing today. 

One thing? One feels far easier than everything. One allows me to say no to many things and focus on what is most important today. This is how I have narrowed my everyday household responsibilities to 4 items:

1. Cooking and baking
2. General cleaning and laundry
3. Deep cleaning and organizing
4. Office work—anything at my desk

I can choose to work on one thing and not stress about the myriad other tasks waiting. When I return books to the bookshelves in the office and see the mail on my desk needing to be processed, I don’t need to drop everything and clean off my desk. Deskwork waits for Tuesday, which I try keep free of errands and appointments so I can give my full attention to mail and writing projects and books.

Deep cleaning is not assigned to a particular day of the week, but tackled on a specific day of my choice. When I am deep cleaning the living room, supper will likely be a simple chicken and rice casserole; it’s not the day for a four-course meal. Laundry and cleaning are most likely to get done Monday and Friday. Saturday I like to prepare food for Sunday, choosing kitchen work above any other responsibilities.

Two things I chose not to put on my responsibilities list are “wife” and “mom.” Regardless of what other responsibilities I fill, I want to give my husband and children priority every day—it’s the ultimate accomplishment if I may do it well.  

-Florence Fox - Michigan

Goals and Routines: What Works for Dorcas

Dorcas shares about her homeschooling routines.

I never thought I would homeschool, but along with our move to southern Chile, came the need for me to school our children who were then in kindergarten, second, and third grade. My personality tends to be a fly-by-the-seat-of-my pants, and yet, that does not produce an atmosphere to thrive.

I have tried schedules, but then feel like I fail them so soon. For me, schedules do not allow time for things that are most important in my life. Things like reading and pondering Scripture longer this morning than yesterday morning or a friend dropping by for coffee when math is scheduled.

I liked to make schedules that if I managed follow would give a temporary feeling of success. But, I didn’t know when I made the schedule if a child is going to be struggling or when something else would come up. When I failed the schedule, I would feel like I was failing homeschooling. I needed to learn, that in my life, timed schedules are great for a school, but they do not bring rest and the results I was wanting in our home.

When summer arrived, we were still not finished our school books. Thus began  year-round homeschooling, and I came up with rhythms instead of schedules. About every three to six months I have needed to change our rhythms, as seasons of life change, or we need a little change so our life is not just methodically ticking off math, history.

After reading Educating the Wholehearted Child by Clay and Sally Clarkson, I have worked very hard to shape the children’s attitudes about school books, writing, and reading to be as much a part of our daily living as breakfast and cooking and laundry. I want folding laundry neatly, cleaning the house well, and playing peaceably to be just as important as doing their best in math and spelling and language.

We are on our fourth year of homeschooling, and in this current season in life these are our rhythms. First things. (Make bed, get dressed, comb hair, feed the dog, brush teeth). Bible. (They are all going through the Bible. Our oldest daughter reads on her own. Our son listens to the audio Bible while following along in his Bible, and our nine-year-old daughter sits beside her brother and listens to the audio.) Then they read or play until breakfast. (This gives me time to keep reading my Bible, start a load of laundry, or mix up bread.)

After breakfast in which, after I have finished eating, I read something out of the Bible, a poem or two or five, we work on our current poem or Scripture we are memorizing and review several past ones, plus usually fit in something else we are working at learning. (That has been oceans and continents, reviewing parts of speech, skip counting, and currently teaching the children how to read music.)

Next is dishes. (For breakfast and supper dishes, I have a rotating schedule by weeks.) After dishes we spend about an hour and a half to two hours of study. Math always comes first.

Then they help with jobs and play until lunch time. After lunch is rest time for one or two hours. Most afternoons, we have a period where we do geography, history, or science, and they read the next chapter in the books they are reading aloud.

Throughout the times of work and play in the mornings and afternoons, I may work with one of the children individually on something they are struggling with in one of the subjects. 

If a friend stops for coffee, or we go to a friend’s house, the children know we take up with the next thing in our rhythm of First Things, Bible, Breakfast, Math, Lunch, Rest time, Afternoon study. If something comes up before we do Math and it is lunchtime, then Math comes between lunch and rest time. (When our children were younger, rest time would probably have needed to come before math.) Then we continue on through our rhythms of the day.

I try to keep the time after supper free from school work so we can spend time playing games as a family and just enjoying being with my husband.

By schooling year round, we are able to not do school books when traveling, sick, or on a day that a friend comes all day to learn to sew. Also there is no forgetting of math facts and fraction concepts in the summer months, and no dreading the getting back into school schedule. It allows for those harder when all we get done is math in the morning and read alouds with tea in the afternoon.

I have three mottos that I use to guide my days. “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things will be added unto you.” “Little drops of water, little grains of sand, make the mighty ocean, and the pleasant land.” (I repeat this one to myself on the days when I just want to go back to bed. Each little step we take does begin to add up to math facts remembered and concepts learned.) “Don’t count each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds that you plant.”

Among the day after day of teaching and training and guiding, I have learned to truly love to homeschool our children. I have learned to be open to God’s leading in my days, to take the time to listen to and instruct a struggling child instead of just getting a math lesson checked off the day’s list.

Jesus promised that He came so we can have abundant life. Today I am so grateful that in those early days of homeschooling when I was struggling, I clung to that promise of abundant life, and refused to settle for mediocre. I want to run this race of life well, and so I have learned that I need to set rhythms for my life that will help us to become more excellent in every area, even though they may look different from my friends. I also know that our lives will keep changing, and our rhythms may need to change too, but I choose to believe that God will lead me as I seek to live my life for His glory and to be faithful even in the little things.

-  Dorcas Showalter - Chili

Goals and Routines: What Works for Timna

Timna shares about the shifts in her seasons of life.

At the start of each new year, I like to write a mission statement for myself in the front of my planner. Even though I don’t often read it, it clearly outlines my priorities and some of my goals. It defines my place and purpose before God, my role as a wife and a mom, my responsibility as a daughter to my aging parents, my place in the church and my duty as a homemaker.

I thrive on routines, but have not attained them. Most days we have ten people in our home, some who have their own schedules and my life flows around the people in my life.

In my earlier years of homemaking, I was influenced by the writings of home organizers such as Emilie Barnes, Donna Otto and Marla Cilley (FlyLady) and I am grateful for the things I learned from them. However, those women had different lifestyles and their methods did not totally work for me.

Our routines may reflect our values, but they do not define our priorities. We have to define our priorities and establish our routines based on that. It is easy to become overwhelmed when establishing priorities and routines. The discipline of a routine is good, and being consistent in one routine paves the way for the establishing new routines, but if they are too overwhelming, we tend to shy away from them.

My highest purpose is to bring glory to God, and in order to do that, I have to spend time in the Word and in prayer. Although I still need to grow in this, that routine is also a priority.

Right now, a daily shining of the bathroom and the kitchen sink is not my priority. I put higher priority on reading a story to a little seven-year-old who snuggles up beside me and lives a mixed up life between our house and his mom's house.

Making the bed in the morning gives me a sense of order and peace and is something my husband appreciates. I love to walk for my health but have gotten derailed because of cold weather. Cleaning my house gets moved up on the list of priorities if it shows too much negligence because God is a God of order and beauty, and I want our home to be a haven of rest and refreshment.

My routines shift through the various seasons of life. Probably some routines that get a lick and a promise now, will receive more attention once my house empties and my focus shifts. I often pray that God will give me wisdom to know the most important thing to do in every moment.

-Timna Hooley - Georgia

Goals and Routines: What Works for Kathryn

Kathyrn,a busy mom with young children, shares her current goals.

Prioritize quiet time with God by waking up before the children. I can listen to the Bible while I dress or get breakfast ready, but that should not replace prayer and studying paper pages of The Book of all books.

Love the children—enough to train them. Child training is more important than my housework. If I read or play with the children (ages 4, 2, and 7 months) before digging into work they can’t do, they require less discipline.

Do at least one project each day, in addition to child care and cooking. Laundry counts, oh yes, it does. A to-do list helps me remember the little things I need to do regularly, and checking off tasks is rewarding.

Divide deep-cleaning goals into increments. For example, our office and laundry room requires these tasks: dust or wash ceiling and walls; move and clean under the wash and dryer; ditto for two desks, a laundry cabinet, two file cabinets, a china hutch, and an armoire; wash doors and hardwood floor; wash curtain and window. I put each item on my to-do list on my phone. Tasks for each room recur as often as I think necessary—perhaps in two months or even years later.

Add “sew something” to my to-do list. While I work up to this goal, if you need to borrow an Activa 130 sewing machine, I know where one lurks. 

- Kathryn Swartz - Virginia

Goals and Routines: What Works for Sarah

Sarah shares what is working for her in a new season of life. 

This is a relevant subject to me. I’ve been thinking about it lately—our family is entering a new (and wonderful) stage. My “baby” is two years old, and my oldest daughter is becoming a responsible young lady. That means I have more freedom, besides someone who can go ahead with housework even when I’m doing something else. However, the two oldest do youth activities now, so my schedule sometimes needs to become one that accommodates theirs.

Along with a new stage comes a new kind of busyness, new joys, new challenges. I like to think I’m the kind of person whose motto is, “Wherever you are, be all there.” So I try to live in the moment, and I look forward to the unfolding of this new stage in much the same way as I looked forward to watching my firstborn’s developments as he grew. Life is an adventure. I can tell already that I will love this stage. I love the fact that the older children are becoming less like dependents and more like friends. I love not having a tiny baby and a huge diaper bag to haul around wherever I go.

Goals and routines have several specific names to me: personal relationship with God, building quality relationships with each individual personality among my children, and writing life. Hopefully, in that order.

My personal relationship with God, of course, is kept up by regular personal worship. Most of my mothering life, it has worked for me to have my devotions first thing in the morning, unless a baby was unusually uncooperative, in which case I tried to make sure it happened sometime during the  day. I love the verse that says God “will gently lead those that are with young.” He has given us these precious, unpredictable, demanding, marvelous souls, and He understands the demands on a mother’s time. So I know He understood about the days when my personal devotions just didn’t happen. However, I also know that when I skip my devotions, it is I that suffers, not God. What I like about this stage is that I have more freedom and empty arms to keep a notebook with my Bible and copy the Bible as I read it. I have been doing this for several months now, and I love how it forces me to really think about what I’m reading.

As the children grow and change, so do their needs. Right now, my biggest concern is that I’m somehow missing it with connecting to the hearts of my “middle children.” Actually, that has been a niggling fear ever since I got to the stage where we had a “middle child.” The older children become people in their own right, secure in their place as “the oldest ones.” The little ones are dependent and cute, and obviously need Mom. The middle children—well, they’re a part of the family, but they get caught between criticism from the older ones and Mom assuming that they can pretty much take care of themselves. Do I see their needs? Are they important enough to me that I’m willing to be intentional about meeting them?

My writing life is a rather new development for me, and the one I’m still grappling with the most to fit it in in ways that are healthy. In the afternoons when the scholars are gone and the little ones are sleeping, I have a quiet hour or two that I try to use wisely. Sometimes I read, and sometimes I write. Last spring, when I had lots of sewing to do, yet badly wanted to keep my tryst with the computer, plus had a long list of books I wanted to read and too little time to read, besides wanting to shed a few extra pounds, I made it a point to do at least some of each every day. I have a planner, which I use much like a bullet journal, and for several weeks, I had a list—sew, read, write, exercise. I made a check beside each thing for every day when I made it happen, whether it was five minutes or ninety. 

When the children wake up, or arrive home from school, or come in from outside, I try to meet them with eye contact and actually hearing them when they talk. I try not to let computer time compromise our sacred tradition of reading aloud for awhile before they go to bed.

I pray about each of these things a lot. God cares about my relationship with Him, my connections with those closest to my heart, and my writing bringing Him glory without compromising what’s most important.

-Sarah J. Martin - Ontario

Q&A - Book Lists

For years I have recorded the books that I read. I love looking back over those lists. I just kept a  simple title-and-author list in my planner. Sometimes if a book was especially enjoyed I placed a star beside it. If I wanted to remember not to read it again, I might make a note of what I found offensive.

This list works, but I wish I kept a few more details. Which books did I read to my children? Which were audio books? Why did this book deserve a star?

I've considered using something like GoodReads to record my reading, but I hesitate to sign up for one more potential on-line time waster. I don't want to start a system that steals my reading time.

So here is my questions for you.

Do you record the books you read?

Do you use GoodReads, a bullet journal, or some other tool for your lists?

What information have you found helpful to note?

My" Books I Read" is only one list. I have others. "Books to Read."" Books to Look for at a Used Bookstore." "Books Set in the Middle Ages." "Favorite Picture Books." And many more. These lists can be found on documents in my computer, scrawled in notebooks, and scrunched on scraps of paper at the bottom of my purse.

I know. This is only a problem for a Book Geek.

But maybe some of you will admit to be Book-Geek-List-Makers and tell me how you manage your lists.

Winner of Patrick of Ireland

Thanks for all who entered the giveaway and shared your favorite read alouds. The winner of Patrick of Ireland is

Mary Beth at richlyblest

You can purchase your own copy of Patrick of Ireland at Scroll Publishing. Thanks, Scroll, for doing this giveaway.

Goals and Routines: What Works for Darletta

Thanks, Darletta, for sharing how you have learned flexibility through a challenging season of life.

I love schedules and routines—probably too much.

I grew up in an out-lying community, so almost every time we wanted to be involved in an event, we had to plan ahead and prepare early. Time-consciousness grew on me during my sixteen years of teaching in a multi-grade classroom where I sliced my days into fifteen-minute segments.

When I married into a ready-made family, I thought enforcing routine was part of being a good mom. But God wanted me to learn flexibility. To fit into a household where the word "hurry" induces stress and anxiety, I had to rearrange my priorities.

I still enjoy setting goals for myself and seeing how many of them I can meet, but I can't expect as much of children who are neurologically underdeveloped. Since these children do benefit from the security of a schedule, I am thankful the bus arrives at 7:48 each school morning, but I no longer panic if a boy is still in the bathroom at 7:40. When the bus returns at 4:10 in the afternoon, I try to relax into a less exacting mode. Pushing too hard does not help us survive the four hours of chores, supper, and homework.

At this point in our parental work, we find it necessary to give relationships more weight than routines. 

All moms know the challenge of organizing a family, but here's my personal kudos to the ones who orient their schedules around high maintenance children. "Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not break."

- Darletta Martin - Maryland

Goals and Routines: What Works for Laurie

Laurie shares with us one goal she is making for herself.

Schedules—why do I cringe when I hear that? But goals? I love goals, dreams, and lists.

Schedules are important. Imagine how hodgepodge life would be if we all did whatever we want whenever we wanted without discipline. But I wonder if sometimes we put too much emphasis on keeping a schedule. Trying too hard to be scheduled can cause extra stress. If my husband is late for supper or the baby has a fever and needs held for hours on laundry day, the strain is much worse if I am schedule driven rather than schedule guided. However, if I haven’t done laundry for days because I didn’t feel like it and now we’re out of clean clothes, the day holding a sick baby is much more stressful.

Years ago I admired our neighbor family for their scheduled, disciplined life. During one January snowstorm, our barn roof came crashing down from the heavy snow. Our herd of dairy cows was trapped beneath, and we had no idea of possible injuries or fatalities. My husband asked our neighbor for help. The neighbor said he was just sitting down for lunch and would come as soon as he was finished.

Suddenly, his schedule didn’t seem very nice to me.

We need to find rest midway. And that is probably different for different people. Personally, I confess I need a lot of improvement. When our children were young, the school schedule nine months out of the year helped to keep us on track. Usually by the time school started again in the fall we were happy for the way it forced it’s schedule on us again. But for us who no longer have school children or for those who homeschool, the “school schedule” safety net isn’t there.

I think the best place to start (for me, at least) is to have a scheduled bedtime. And this is something that I really need to work on right now. If I have a regular, early bedtime, I feel better and my whole next day goes better.

No, I still don’t like schedules so I don’t want to think of scheduling an earlier bedtime. But I do like goals so my goal is to get to bed earlier tonight. And then, because I will start my day earlier tomorrow, it will help me reach my next goal—to get to bed earlier tomorrow night!
- Laurie Lehman - Washington

What about you? Do you find it important to have a bedtime for yourself?

Goals and Routines: What Works for Marlene

Marlene tells us how she was successful on her goal last year.

According to studies, only 8% of the people who make New Year’s Resolutions achieve them. That’s a lot of flunked diets, unwritten books, and messy closets.

However. Studies show that if people have accountability partners for their goals, the chance that they will achieve their aspirations jumps from 8% to 65%.

That’s a huge jump.

I’m proof of this. In January of 2019, I pledged myself on Home Joys to finally read the Bible in one year. I also made myself accountable in real life to my aunt Katherine, who lives in the other end of our house. I met my goal, and met Christ anew through that plan – but I know I would have petered out in Leviticus without the accountability.

Dire consequences can be effective motivation as well, especially when partnered with a partner. One secular source declared that failure to meet goals should have an immediate effect on the bank account. That same author publicly pledged to donate to an organization/ charity that he didn’t agree with, if he failed to reach his goal. 

I recently heard of two women who held each other to a stiff diet for a month, with the pact that if they failed they would need to clean the other’s house. I assure you there was no cleaning.

Another simple technique that works for me is to Write It Down. I don’t say this because I’m a writer; I say it because it works. Vague ideas that “I should lose weight/write that book/clean out the closet” are not half so useful as a concise, dated statement taped onto my mirror.  

- Marlene R. Brubacher - Ontario

What about you? Do you find that accountability helps you to meet your goals?

Goals and Routines: What Works for Stephanie

Today we hear from Stephanie as she considers organizing in a new year.

I have always dreamed of a school room. That dream is so close to reality. As I write, my husband is working on a huge closet from the ceiling to the floor. I am convinced this room will make my life easier. It will reduce clutter and save me time finding things.

I dreamed of the day when my children would be old enough to pitch in with the work. This stage has arrived. On Saturdays, each girl takes a room and cleaning is a sync. But for some reason, spare time is still rare.

When I convince myself that I will sit down with my Bible—later, at a better time, my devotional time becomes rushed, distracted, or even skipped.

Deep down in, I know the truth. I must change. Time is teaching me that I cannot wait for perfect circumstances to attain my goals. There will never be spare time. I must always work to prioritize my time. Sometimes it is a matter of finding a new schedule; sometimes I simply have to change my expectations. 

Do I need to be content that I will never get more than the basics done in life? The song writer puts life into perspective. “My days are shorter than a span, a little point my life appears; how frail at best is dying man. How vain are all his hopes and fears. Vain his ambition, noise and show: vain are the cares which rack his mind. He heaps of treasures mixed with woe, and dies and leaves them all behind.” (Almighty Maker of my Frame)

But, of course, dreams are free. The next stage just might hand me more time to fulfill more dreams. Until then, I will keep plugging away doing what is important for today.

- Stephanie A. Leinbach - Indiana

What about you? How do you dream of changes while also being content when necessary?

Giveaway - Patrick of Ireland

I love historical fiction and the way that genre can make history come alive, but some historical fiction is more fiction than history.

I love reading books to my children that have enough depth that I am challenged by the message as much as the children.



A few months ago I was given a review copy of Patrick of Ireland. We have read it aloud slowly, traveling with Patrick as he was kidnapped from his home in Britain and sold as a slave in Ireland many centuries ago. Hearing how Patrick prayed and waited on God, then risked his life to carry the Gospel to the Irish was powerful.

Patrick of Ireland is a young reader's edition on David Bercot's book Let Me Die in Ireland. I had read that book quite a few years ago so was familiar with the content, but Patrick of Ireland not only introduced my children to this amazing missionary, but inspired me as well.

Patrick of Ireland includes fictional details, but it doesn't repeat the myths and legends surrounding St. Patrick. Instead it is based on Patrick's own Confessions that he wrote as an old man. The many footnotes in the book were proof to me that the author had took great effort to keep it true to Patrick's written account of his own life.

Scroll Publishing is offering a free copy of Patrick of Ireland to a Home Joys reader. If you are looking for a family read aloud for the new year, I recommend this one. The short length of the book keeps it from being daunting, but the powerful message of Patrick's life is unforgettable. You can purchase your own copy at Scroll Publishing.

To enter the giveaway, let a comment on this post with your email address and share a favorite family read aloud you have shared with your children.

Giveaway is open to US postal addresses and will be open for one week. I was given a review copy of this book, but all opinions shared are my own. 

Goals and Routines: What Works for Sheila

I'm eager to share some of the thoughts on goals that friends shared with me. I'll start with Sheila.

I don’t have any original thoughts on the subject, but it’s something I’ve often considered. (Obese people always know more about diets than skinny people.) We face this routine change biannually when school lets out and again when it starts. I can imagine how things would go around here if we didn’t have a school schedule to keep us on track for at least nine months of every year. I use a week-long grid with the sections of the day on it, and each child has a different color for their name. I’ve a schedule for summer and one for the school year, and at each season change, I adjust my template for growing abilities.

Companions printed a story recently about establishing good habits, and one thing it mentioned particularly was that you shouldn’t try to change everything at once. So focus on one thing. The good news is, when I am more disciplined in my eating habits, I am more disciplined in my Bible reading—the muscle I develop in one place benefits other places, so when I have my “one thing” under control, the next things are slightly less of a challenge.

Keep accountable to yourself or another. I write goals on a paper and mark them with whether I met them.

It works best to involve the children in our changes: Here is how we feel about how things are going, and here is what we want to change. They feel less slammed-out-of-nowhere by these Suddenly Strict Parents. Incentives are good, too—larger incentives, that take a while to achieve, work better for us than a lot of tiny incentives every day. One incentive is flexibility. Once we have a schedule established, we get a time when we can relax from the schedule. (e.g. Saturday evening supper, we can read at the table.)

Doesn’t culture make some difference? Some areas are different and what feels like chaos to you may appear very structured to another part of the country. Don’t feel as though you have to meet your particular culture’s unrealistic standards—so long as you’re teaching godliness line upon line.

- Sheila J. Petre -Pennsylvania

Goals and Routines: What Works for Me

My extroverted, optimistic self loves a new year. I relish new planners, empty calendar pages, and goal lists. The promise of new experiences is heady.

Last year I admitted to being terrified as I thought of 2019. Even though I know it will hold many challenges, I find myself anticipating the new year. If God could help us survive last year, He'll be with us this year too.

For years I have begun each year with blogging about reading God's Word. Last year several friends joined me in discussing Bible Reading. (Check out Choosing His Words last January.) This year I again thought I'd begin a conversation.

Though I may look at the year with optimism, the realistic part of me can get discouraged. In the past months I've struggled to find a routine that works for me. Not just for Bible reading. Everything.

So much of my life was built around Ed's schedule. With Ed's sickness and death, I lost many of our routines. It didn't matter when I got up in the morning, how long I stayed up at night, or when I served meals. I have been trying to slowly build better habits, but sometimes the needs seem overwhelming. Do I change everything at once? Do I pick one area to focus on? When it goes well for one week and then we slip back into our bad habits how do I start again?

I know that in the various seasons of life, routines and schedules need to be adapted to meet our needs. What worked well for me five years ago needs adjusted with different ages of children and different roles. The job chart that we used for years doesn't fit now. The time I spent reading my Bible while nursing isn't available. My children need challenged in new ways and I need to find a new role as manager.

So I asked several friends to share what is working for them in this season of life. The goal is not that we will copy each other, but that we can learn and be encouraged to build healthy routines that work for us.

Last night, looking at the 365 days to come, I made a list of areas that I need to grow in. I felt rather small when I was done. My optimism quailed in the face of my failures and setting goals for the new year felt impossible.

I knew the only thing I could do is what I learned through Ed's illness, open up my hands and give my life (my days, my problems, my plans) back to God.

"And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for My strength is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Join us tomorrow as we discuss Goals and Routines: What Works for Me.