Pride and Prejudice Part 3

Part Three in the story of How I Became Mrs. Martin

The next year, 2000, was a very busy one for me. I did a lot of traveling and kept my parents busy shuttling me to the airport. I was twenty-four-years-old and single life was rich and fulfilling. It was a year of a lot of personal growth and I learned valuable lessons about myself and relationships. I saw Ed rarely that year, but he continued to be in the background of my thoughts. Toward the end of the year, I told a friend about Ed and I realized that I was peering past my Mennonite prejudice and focusing on Ed's godly qualities.

In October I saw Ed at a wedding reception. As people rushed around us, for the first time ever, I allowed myself to have an extended conversation with Ed. My busy schedule was clearing out and I admitted to Ed that I didn't know what I was supposed to do next with my life. Later I wasn't sure whether I was glad or sad to give him encouragement. Or even if he would take it as encouragement. (He did.)

Unknown to me, Ed was looking for the right time to ask me to begin a relationship. Besides waiting for me to finish globetrotting, his church had difficulties that year and he wanted to wait until things settled down. After Christmas Ed had foot surgery and he didn't want to be in a foot cast on our first date. But when the doctor check-up revealed that he would be in the cast for another six weeks, he decided to chuck his pride and quit delaying.

It was a Thursday evening in February, 2001 and my family was in the kitchen with a tableful of guests when the phone rang. Dad told him to call back the next evening since we had company. Poor Ed. After the agony of making the first call, he had to muster up the nerve a second time. But Dad gave Ed the permission he requested and he didn't waste time asking me. By this time, I was ready to say “yes” and we began dating. In only took a few weeks I knew that if Ed asked, I was willing to be his wife.

Our Mennonite/Brethren church differences didn't dissolve. We spent endless hours discussing church and our personal beliefs. I'm embarrassed to remember how many conversations ended with me in tears. I often wished that we could just have fun dating like normal couples, not dredge up intense issues. Sometimes I'm still surprised that Ed didn't give up on me. I'm sure he wished many times that I wasn't so strong-willed, opinionated, and intense.

But when we married we looked back on those conversations and saw the blessings. We were forced to learn to communicate and work through differences immediately. Our marriage benefited by the skills forged in that training ground.

Sometimes I am still shocked that a stubborn Brethren girl could became a Mennonite minister's wife. I had no idea when we were dating that we’d face brain cancer and our marriage would be cut short in less than seventeen years. But God gave me much more than I ever expected or deserved in marriage, and I'd marry Ed a dozen times over.

And I'm glad my pride and prejudice didn't keep me from accepting God’s gift for me.