Anniversary Surprises

I had plans for what I'd post today. A year ago, May 10, 2017 is the day I once described as the worse in my life  - the day we learned that Ed had a large brain tumor that was likely an aggressive cancer.

There has been other hard days this past year. The day we got the diagnosis of glioblastoma multiform. The day the MRI showed that Ed's tumor was actively regrowing. But the shock of that first day was unique. The day before I would have said that our family was as healthy as goats. (Are goats healthier than horses? I've heard of horse doctors but never a goat doctor.) But now our life would defined by doctor appointments, scans, and medications.

One year later, for May 10, 2018, I thought I'd write a victory post. We survived a year. A whole year of living with cancer.

I still hate cancer. I hate that many of our friends who have had loved ones face similar diagnosis this year, had to say good-bye. I hate that nearly half of those diagnosed with glioblastoma never make it to one year.

But Ed is recovering well from surgery, his treatment side affects have been manageable, and he is working full time. This past weekend was full of fun as we relished the joy of campfires, conversation, and friends.

So I planned to write about how there have been many hard days this year, but there have been good days as well. God hasn't left us alone. He brought peace in very turbulent times and promises His presence for the future.

But that peace was tested yesterday. This day included calling 911 for the first time in my life, walking the halls of the fourth hospital this year, and flipping through the Gideon Bible in the waiting room asking once again for a reminder of God's presence.

Yesterday, in the early morning hours, Ed had cramps in his leg muscle. It was like a Charlie Horse, only much worse. And it wouldn't let up. We tried ice, heat, sitting in a tub of hot water, walking - but nothing helped. Every few minutes, his leg muscle would tense up. The pain was so bad that he would shake, even his arm tensing.

We called his doctor who ordered some blood work which came back normal. In the afternoon the spasms seemed to abate. We sighed with relief and hoped such a glitch would never occur again. Ed was weary of sitting on the recliner and decided to walk around, but then the spasms came back. He was in the basement with our oldest daughter when he fell.

Ed fell in between two pieces of equipment. He was wedged so tightly that he had a scratch on both sides of his chest. His head missed the concert floor and landed on a rubber hose. But Ed's eyes were rolled back, his mouth was foaming, and he did not respond to me.

All the puzzle pieces fell together. I had never seen a seizure, but I knew this was one. Seizures are very common for those with brain tumors, and we had been so grateful that Ed never had one. But his year of reprieve was over. Likely all those dozens of muscle spasms all day long were also seizures. I felt stupid to not have recognized it earlier.

I called 911, and Ed was soon being loaded into the ambulance where he finally became conscious. Our local hospital started him on anti-seizure medicine which gave immediate relief to the spasms. A CAT scan showed no signs of head or neck injuries. He was moved to a larger hospital and given two more seizure drugs. He was doped all night, barely opening his eyes for blood draws.

Today he is feeling much better, though still sleepy and weak. When he isn't napping, he is talking like his normal self. We hope his MRI will give us information on his seizures. If he continues to do well, he will be able to go home tomorrow.

During the long hours beside Ed's bed last night my mind rolled. Do I still write and share what God has done for us this past year? (I could add a few more things to the list, such as my daughter being with Ed and not injuring himself in the fall.) Or would this be the time that Ed never fully recovers and I have a permanently handicapped husband? If so, could I still testify of the peace that God gives?

I want to. Please continue to pray for us.