Before I Ask

Yesterday morning we fought rush hour traffic, wound our way into the bowels of a parking garage, then tackled the labyrinth of halls of a huge hospital. The day was filled with of tests and consultations with doctors and medical staff. Our brains were spinning as we tried to comprehend the  information shoveled at us. One doctor said that we were far better than average at asking good questions - which I took as a compliment.

It was only after we arrived home that I realized it had been a day without tears. I wouldn't begin to call it fun, but Ed and I had shared laughter and lots of conversation through those hours. I had looked through Ed's MRI scans, viewing the monster that is trying to kill Ed without falling apart. I had read through material, formulated questions, and taken notes without dissolving.

I had never thought to pray for emotional stability. But I am so grateful God gave it yesterday. In the past, when tears loom, my brain turns to mush. I would have never been able to participate in the conversations yesterday without God's strength.

Your assurance of prayers has been so encouraging this past week. Yesterday we assured the social worker that we have a huge support system. She was asking about things like finances, babysitting, and practical needs. But I thought of all of you, many who we have never met, who are holding up our hands, reminding us that we are not alone, and bringing our needs to the One who can walk with us down hospital halls, sit next to us at midnight, and pour out peace in the middle of a nightmare.

Thank you.