Surrender and Praise

This week was Ed's MRI. Ever since Ed's last MRI, which showed a slight increase in the size of Ed's tumor, I've been dreading this scan.

One of Ed's doctors is an optimist that said, "The size increase might just be swelling from radiation. You don't have any symptoms of tumor growth. We'll wait to see what the next MRI shows."

Ed's other doctor takes a more pessimistic approach. He is probably realistic about the statistical progression of glioblastoma. Typically, even with surgery, radiation, and chemo, this cancer begins to regrow within 6 to 8 months of diagnosis. We are past seven months. This doctor encouraged us to begin researching our treatment options and making plans for when the tumor regrows.

We continue to pray that God will heal Ed, but we also saw the wisdom in looking into our medical options. When Ed was diagnosed in May, he felt too awful to help make medical decisions. In the last month we have done a lot of reading, talking to medical professionals, and discussing various options for recurrent GBM. We were able to start some of the molecule testing that will need done if Ed ever decides to try some of the new immunotherapy. 

These past weeks gave me an chance to evaluate my attitude again. I realize again that Ed is God's child and I need to surrender Ed and our future to God. As this week approached I felt a complete peace about the MRI. Whatever would happen wasn't going to surprise God.

Yesterday I played phone tag with the nurse. She called when I was out and then she busy when I called back. I could hardly believe that I was so calm. I know many of you were praying; we felt very supported. I also knew that God wasn't going to abandon us.

And the results? There has been no change in size or shape of Ed's tumor since his last scan. His tumor is considered "stable."

Praise the Lord! It feels as if we have been given a few more months (at least until Ed's next MRI) to enjoy normal life.

But I still want to wake every morning with the realization that we are in God's hands and surrender each moment to Him. I believe that only a life spent living for God is worth living.