Two Questions

There is two questions I've been asked in the last weeks.

The first question..."Do you mind if I ask about Ed?"

The answer? Not at all. I know that people differ in the way that they react to things like cancer. Some may not want to talk.

But Ed and I do want to talk. Maybe we need to talk. We don't mind discussing Ed's diagnosis, the prognosis, and his treatment.

To me, dragging something out in the light, looking it over, and discussing it with friends makes it less scary. Or maybe, if still scary, at least we have the comfort of knowing that others are standing with me next to scary things.

It has been an amazing experience to talk with friends who can remind us of God's goodness in the hard times. To be reminded that all of us face death sometime and heaven is going to be better than we ever imagine. No, it doesn't make it any more fun to face death at age forty. Or think of the pain of separation. But it does help us remember what is truly important in life.

And so, if you are wondering how Ed is doing, the answer is Very Well. Physically, emotionally, AND spiritually. He is nearly finished the fourth week of his six weeks of radiation and chemo. He is still driving to radiation every morning and then going to work. He gets tired in the afternoon and usually quits work at about 3:00 and comes home for a nap. But then he feels good enough to do something in the evening.



Like grill his awesome smoked pork loin. (Recipe found in an old issue of Cooks Illustrated.)

I expected Ed would spend most of the summer sick in bed, but we've been able to attend family reunions, church picnics, and so on. Ed does tire quickly so we haven't went camping, biking, or hiking, but as long as he can stay near his lawn chair, he enjoys staying part of activities.

(Above photos taken at Warrior's Path State Park on July 4th.)

The last few days he did start losing hair from the radiation. I don't think it looks bad, not worse than many other forty-year-old's receding hairline. But Ed is getting tired of shedding and threatens to shave the rest of his hair.

The second question is maybe the opposite of the first and definitely the most common..."I know you have other things on your mind right now, but do you mind if I ask you a question about _____________(fill in the blank with gardening, bread baking, homeschooling, etc)?"

My answer to that question is "please do." Again, I know that people vary, but I want you to ask how Ed is doing. I want you to show that you care about what we are going through right now. But then I want to talk about something normal. I want to know what is going on in your life.

In some ways cancer is now defining our life. But in many ways, life is the same as always.



I'm still a mom. (Who even with a cutie with pigtails, hasn't become Super Mom and still needs a double dose of grace most days.)

I'm still homeschooling and reading many books with my children. (We actually just began school last week with our crazy July to April school schedule!)

I still cook three meals (and many snacks) every day. In the few minutes I've been sitting here I've had two children tell me they are starving. Last week I actually baked a batch of bread which was the first in many many weeks. It took some of the joy from it since Ed isn't eating carbs, thus no bread, but my children appreciated it.

I still have interests in life. The other week I was able to meet three friends for lunch. We spent four hours talking about books, writing, and motherhood and I came away feeling refreshed deep down to my toes.



I still have a garden. On Tuesday evening, Ed actually joined the children and I in weeding. Most of our garden has been mulched with cardboard and grass clippings but the section that wasn't had a  carpet of weeds. It was the first time Ed has been in the garden since April.



Last week we had two inches of rain and the green beans, carrots, and tomatoes have never looked better.

There may come a time in this journey that all normal life will come to a screeching halt. We learned in May how quickly life can transform.

But we have also learned how God can carry us through both the normal and the tragic, the delightful and the devastating, and how grief can still be full of grace.

And even in the best of the normal days there are some things that are not so delightful, such as the infestation of Japanese Beetles on our grapes, raspberries, and green beans. So I'll end with two questions for you.

Do you have a solution against Japanese Beetles?
Do the Japanese Beetle traps actually work?