Looking at Priorities

In the last post Sue shared four priorities for a homemaker and today she shares some details on each of those priorities. 

Looking at Priorities 

By Sue Hooley

I am personally responsible for my relationship with God. 

Time with God is essential because we need His wisdom and strength all of the time. The frequency of your time with God is more important than a particular method. There have been times when I’ve read my Bible with a lapful of noisy toddlers and prayed while I walked to the mailbox. Other times I have had perfectly quiet uninterrupted minutes. 

 

When our second child was three months old, I was visiting with a friend. “I like having my quiet time in the morning before the children wake up,” she said. “The house is so quiet and I have time to meditate.” 

 

  My baby was an early riser and I was not a morning person. Yet, I was so exhausted at bedtime that I could barely comprehend what I was reading. “Would that work for me?” I needed spiritual nourishment and I was ready for a change so I asked the Lord to make Baby sleep a little longer in the morning. God answered that prayer! His sleeping pattern changed just enough so that I could have a few quiet minutes. 

 I am my husband’s wife. He will have other friends, but I am the only one that will love and care for him as his wife.

 

You are the only person that will love and care for your husband as his wife. It's easy to assume that your husband is less needy than your children or the friend in a crisis. That might be true, but is it fair to continually give your husband the leftovers of your time and energy?

The Bible teaches that a wife is to submit unto her own husband. Submit is “yielding ourselves to another”. “Own” suggests that husbands have different personalities and preferences. This concept gives couples the freedom to customize their marriage and it really doesn’t matter how they choose to function as long as it is “fit in the Lord.” Colossians 3:18. Some men don’t mind coming home to a messy house and others appreciate a habitat of organization. Whichever the case, we should try to create an environment that they enjoy. 

 

We can be a complement to our husband by learning his preferences. My husband and brother-in-law are avid campers but they have extremely different personalities. One plans and prepares for camping and the other goes camping on a whim with little preparation. My sister and I have learned to flow with our husband’s style and ironically, we prefer and enjoy it. Trying to fit my husband in the impromptu mold, (and I have thought about it) would be like Mrs. Hen asking her Rooster to “quack” instead of “crow”. It just isn’t natural. 

 

It is difficult to balance our work and children and still have time to nurture our relationship with our husband. However, finding valuable time for your husband can make the difference between building a happy marriage and losing a cherished friendship. 

  

I am my child/children’s mother. Others will influence him/her, but only I can give a mother’s love and care. 

 

Children regard a mother’s presence and interaction as a sign of care and connectedness. Busyness can make it difficult for mothers to savor life's ordinary moments, but it is precisely those moments that your children will always treasure. Most children find just as much joy in the little things as they do in life's big events. 

 

Plan time to express how much you value each of your children. When we rearrange work to flow with the needs of our family, our children will feel valued. Sometimes is as simple as ignoring the phone in the middle of reading a story. Perhaps what we do is not so important, but individual time with your children provides an opportunity for you to connect with them.

While there is nothing wrong with keeping a reasonably full schedule or reaching out to others, we must be careful that we are not over-busy. If you are in the habit of running all day, rushing from one event to another, snapping your fingers to keep your children in line, you've probably taken on more than you can reasonably handle. Some children will let you know if you are too busy by doing something naughty to get your attention. Children are sensitive and will feel rejected by an overly busy mother. 

 I am the one responsible to manage and direct the daily functions of my household.

 

A Christian homemaker is called to “guide the house”. Guiding indicates an active role of “showing the way”, “advise or influence”, “help somebody learn something”, and “run an organization.” Without a guiding presence in the house, things tend to towards chaos. The home is our domain and how we operate our home has a great impact over our lives and our families. 

 

We should guide the house in a way is comfortable for us and our circumstances. One of the best methods for relaxation is to let go of the "perfect" mentality. Our house is where we live and it does not need to be immaculate, albeit it should be orderly. Just because I vacuum regularly does not mean that my sock drawer is in tip-top shape. We can’t do it all and sometimes we need to choose which areas to keep orderly on a daily basis.  Whether it be your kitchen counter, your bathroom or the dining room table; it's a place that puts your mind at ease and gives a sense of order.  Come to think of it, my sock drawer is usually jumbled….

 

There is something satisfying about having a home with well-functioning systems in place. Life seems to flow better when there is a method for dealing with toys, books, laundry, chores, and cleaning the house. Whether you have a large family or a small one, this job requires time and thought to have a workable plan.  However, it can take even more time to deal with these areas if there is no precise way of handling daily tasks. 

Perhaps there is not a one-step formula to cure busyness, but if you prioritize the most important aspects of your life you can rightfully enjoy a good book, a warm blanket, and a steaming cup of tea. 

In what way area do you seek to adjust your priorities in the coming year?

 Sue Hooley, wife of Dan and mom to six children ages 4-20 is a Mennonite homemaker in Washington state. After several years of motherhood and homemaking, she developed a Daily Planner that is perfect homemakers. www.homemakersfriend.com