But every Mother's Day, I can't help but remember my first Mother's Day. The painful day when I sat in church and choked back tears with the memories of my little baby who had came and left so quickly, but left behind a huge hole in my heart and empty arms.
Even though my house is now full of noise and laughter, it doesn't erase the memory of our first baby, the one who never took the first breath. In the last couple years, so I've known so many ladies who have walked through the valley of miscarriage and still-born death. My heart goes out to those who feel alone in their struggle to find joy after their dreams were dashed.
When a Home Joys reader asked if I would review her new book, Light My Candle, Prayers in the Darkness of Miscarriage, I jumped on it. Stephanie J. Leinbach shares the tears on the journey through two miscarriages.
I wish I had this book eight years ago when struggling through my own miscarriage. I found resources on miscarriage were rare, especially ones that pointed to the Lord as the healer of broken dreams. I'm so glad that Stephanie opened up her heart and peeled back the bandages to share the road of pain and healing in her life. Of course, every woman grieves differently, but my experience echoed Stephanie's in many ways. I think I was in tears by the second page. One of the pains of miscarriage is the loneliness. The loss is not felt by anyone but the mother, and maybe her husband. Knowing that another walked this road of heartache, is immensely encouraging.
Most of Light My Candle is written in a poetic free-verse style. I found the book an easy one to read. Though I love to read, I know some women find large chunks of time hard to find. This book was an easy one to pick up and read a short page or two. Stephanie shares chapters on the effects of miscarriage on a marriage, how to give support to a grieving friend, and how to move on after your loss.
I wish there were never women who shed lonely tears with empty arms on Mother's Day. But since there is, I plan to keep a copy of Light My Candle on hand to share. Even if you've never experienced a miscarriage, it would be a good book to read to understand better the emotional pain a friend faces.
To purchase Light My Candle, you can contact Stephanie at lightmycandle@abcmailbox.net You may also visit Stephanie's blog for more of her writings.
Stephanie has also generously offered to share a copy of Light My Candle with a Home Joys reader. To enter the giveaway, leave a comment on this post. Please give an email address so I can contact the winner. Giveaway will be open for one week.
Come back tomorrow and we'll share a short interview with Stephanie and maybe an excerpt from the book.
(Read interview here.)
I was given a complimentary review copy of Light My Candle, but all opinions in this review were my own. This book was a pleasure to review and I can recommend it from the heart.
I would be very interested in reading this book; after experiencing many miscarriages myself I also saw there was little resources available on this subject. I wrote a simple pamphlet some time ago, but have not gotten it in print. Thanks for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteTime never can heal these wounds. My good friend from church suffered her own loss, it was so difficult for an outsider to witness, but that is nothing compared to the heartbreak she felt. It must be hard to blog about that, thankyou for sharing Gina.
ReplyDeleteAfter having two sons, my husband & I experienced a miscarriage, then a year of infertility, then another miscarriage. Our miracle daughter is almost 3 now, and loving her has healed many wounds --- but there are still times when I miss my babies (they'll always be babies in my mind) so much that it hurts. I thank God for the valley of pregnancy loss, however; it softened my heart to the pain of others, and for that I will forever be grateful.
ReplyDeleteDid you ever read "A Time to be Borne"? Compiled by Dianna Overholt and Sue Hooley, it is another lovely Christian book that offers comfort to mothers of miscarried babies. I highly recommend it.
I realize this giveaway is for the US but I will definately be keeping my eyes open for this book.As a mother of one wonderful seven year old , I have also known the sorrow of miscarriages.Ten to be exact and I know that the only way my hasband and i have made it through is by the grace of God and his infinite mercy. We are now trying to adopt and holding on to God's promise for us.My prayers to all the women who are going through this right now. Hang on to the Lord , He will get you through.God Bless.
ReplyDeleteGina I lost a son at 8 months of age. He was born with defects that needed operations. He survived the difficult operations and died on the simple one.I see his twin sister everyday and often think what would he have been like? He would 19 right now, a man in his own standings, probably away from home. But you never forget.
ReplyDeleteI would love to read this book. I have 2 angel babies, altho i lost mine very early at 7 1/2 wks. I now have 3 beautiful children that the Lord has blessed us with.
ReplyDeleteHey Gina! First of all, some good news! You one my Daypsring giveaway. Please just email me at abspiker@windstream.net with your email address so that I can email you your coupon code.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I would love to be entered in your giveaway. I also have experienced multiple miscarriages, but God has been so good even through those and has given me opportunities to reach out to other women who have experienced them. This would be a great book to share with those hurting.
a neighbor just had a miscarriage and I'd love to share this with her.
ReplyDeleteHi Gina and Happy Birthday...! Happened to see that on the ch.calendar this morning. The giveaway this time sounds very interesting. Never thought I would need a book on this subject but 5 years ago in April we lost our little angel. And I too felt lost and afraid... I think it's great S has stepped up to the plate I know many will be blessed.
ReplyDeleteJulia
mjeby96@yahoo.com
This weekend is a year that our baby, born one month early with heart complications, went to be with Jesus... At present I am supporting my sister in law who is trying so hard not to miscarry for the fourth time in a row... You know, Gina, our final goal for our children is that they will spend eternity in Heaven, and that one has already reached that goal, helps to make the pain ok... -Wendy
ReplyDeleteI would be interested in this book...I suffered a terrible painful miscarriage almost 3 years ago...I had a partial molar preg. so the baby was been sufficated in the womb by small tumors( benign)..I got pregnant just 2 months after my daughter was born so my body just was not ready...It was emotionally and physically painful...the physical pain was almost unbearable...I was soooo sick I couldn't move....then for one year after, I had to have blood work done every month to make sure my blood levels were good and that the tumors hadn't returned..pretty scary only being 23 years old...
ReplyDeleteMy email is : pinkfrog84@hotmail.com
Jessi
Gina, I would love to share a good book with so many friends who have grieved the loss of an unborn child. My own early miscarriage was unknown ~ long story but his twin survived so we never felt our own loss.
ReplyDeleteMy wife had a miscarriage and is always trying to share with others who are experiencing the same.
ReplyDeleteI am very interested in reading this book. I have never had a miscarriage. But I have had friends who have. I would love to read this so I could better know how to be the "hands of Jesus" to them. Thanks for sharing.........
ReplyDeleteOh, Gina! How well I remember that letter you wrote to me after we lost our baby, telling of your loss and acquaintance with grief as well. That first mother's Day is so difficult. I also would love to read the book and have copies to give to friends and family suffering through this kind of loss and grief.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I've never had a miscarriage, I tried to prepare for it when I began spotting and cramping during my last pregnancy. We are grateful to now have a 7 month old happy & healthy baby girl. I look at her different times and think of how we thought we lost her. My heart goes out to those who have lost babies. I don't actually know how it feels, but I do imagine the pain and loss it brings. I think "Light My Candle" would be a great book to read.
ReplyDeleteHello we too have lost numerous babies but God has blessed us with babies too.We are so grateful.It is such a hard thing to go through though as many people just do not understand how much love we already had for those growing below our hearts.I too grieve for those who have never known the joy of a baby.It is so hard to lose one.When we lost our last one we searched for some encouraging word in the form of a book but as you said they are hard to find.I would love to win this book so I can share it with friends and family too.
ReplyDeleteStephanie is my cousin and I didn't know she wrote a book! I would love to read it!! gdiem@truevine.net
ReplyDeleteI would love to read this book. We just experienced the lost of our little girl born at 19 weeks.
ReplyDeleteI would enjoy this book....but I pray it goes to the one who needs it most. I lost my child, with an ectopic pregnancy....but it was over 10 years ago. The wound still won't heal...but some of these ladies above have wounds much fresher than my own. I pray that God will place it in the hands of the woman who needs to hear the lovely words....whether it be me or someone else. Thank-you gina for sharing this with us.
ReplyDeleteWarmly,
Katy
I have never experienced a miscarriage but one of my sisters had three in a row. I would love to share the book with her.
ReplyDeletemansarg@gmail.com
Gina, this looks like a great book and wow, reading through these comments makes me realize how many people have suffered the loss of a baby and how even though times does heal, the loss is always there.
ReplyDeleteonlyatech at yahoo dot com
if i won the giveaway i would share it with a friend. thank you for letting us know about this book
ReplyDeleteOur first baby was stillborn. What was most essential to me was my close friends and family. God has healed the hurt, but I do once in a while think of how old Naomi might be and what she might be like as the oldest child. There are many heartaches she has missed thankfully with the death of all her grandparents and great-grandparents and her father. I can honestly say it is a joy to know she missed all that.
ReplyDeleteShe is in the presence of the Lord before us and we will all be together again some day. Naomi would be 36 on Christmas Day 2011.
Wow, it really doesn't seem that it was so long ago. God has allowed me to use His work in my life to help others who are going through loss. Yes, I do know there is joy for those who have had loss.
Isaiah 43:2
I have never had a miscarriage but I'm sure it must be very difficult to go through. I love babies and I know it would be very hard for me to loose one. God be with all you mothers that have went through this. Jewel Nolt
ReplyDeleteSeven years ago today, I miscarried my second pregnancy. I still wonder if the baby was a boy or girl & what he/she would be like today. You're right, there's always a hole in your life & heart! Tomorrow will be our son's 1st birthday/angelversary. He was stillborn at 18 weeks. I miss him so much!! Thank-you for the opportunity to win this book! I'd love to read it!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry I forgot my email... judybug81[at]hotmail[dot]com.
ReplyDeleteGina, what a beautiful post. It's good to hear your viewpoint and think of my friends who lost babies. thank you.
ReplyDeleteI am sitting here shivering at how many women say, "I too have experienced multiple miscarriages ...." it is so hard for me to imagine that much pain in one lifetime. I had a partial molar pregnancy in February of this year and am still doing the monthly HCG blood draws Jessi referred to. It is a two-edged sword really. The grief of miscarriage coupled with the incredible fear of cancer. I thought I wouldn't worry too much because the return rate with a partial molar is so much lower, but I was wrong. Suddenly you are ultra in tune with everything happening in your body and this month a few very strange symptoms had me in tears. Thank God, my last check was ok. I would like to read this book and share it with my friend from church who lost her baby last month at seven months gestation. email: smilesbymiles@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteAfter having a miscarrige this past February, I would love to be able to read something like this. Hannah - gentlewarriors04@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteI missed this post originally, but I am thankful I stumbled upon it. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage around Mother's Day and I remember wishing that Mother's Day could have just been canceled that year. I am blessed with a little boy who will be 2 in September. Had I not had the miscarriage, I would have never had him and that helps me to understand God's plan.
ReplyDeleteToday came home from the hospital.Had a tubal pregnancy. Child was 9 weeks old.The raprured tube was removed,child did not survive. Pray I recover. Jane
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